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Chapter 23:
Life Is Boo-Tifle
~Sapphire~
Peach was naturally the first to begin the trek down
the cliffs, her wrought iron weapon gripped tightly in her hand. The
remaining princesses stepped lightly behind her, their footfalls leaving
hardly a trace, either visible or audible, as they started downward.
Various ominous creaks and squeaks of moving metallic objects were already
within their range of hearing, and served to remind them of the inorganic
and seeming indestructible nature of the foes they had to find a way
past.
Not ones to be put off by mere odds, the girls continued
on, their confidence considerably boosted by their new abilities. Peach
felt lighter than air, really, as she picked out footholds and cautiously
stepped her way down the steep cliffs. At places, they had to climb
down rather than walk, and each of them had the passing thought that
it was lucky they were going DOWN and not UP.
Presently, they arrived at their destination, concealing
themselves behind the scattered trees surrounding the machine-made encampment.
Peach turned toward her companions, gesturing silently to the dully
shining metal guard machines that were squeaking along nearby. At pre-programmed
intervals, the machines stopped and turned, surveying the area, and
wheeled along their set paths again.
"These machine-mades aren't the brightest things
in the world," Peach whispered to the others. "They're modeled
after existing creatures and are supposed to generally think as they
would, but their movements and actions are all largely pre-programmed.
They take orders and that's about it..."
"You make it sound as though it won't be too hard
to get past them," Plum replied nervously.
"Don't underestimate them at all," Peach warned
hastily. "They may just be machines, but they're tough machines.
And some of them can be pretty smart, too."
Daisy, in her yellow ninja outfit, shifted her feet uneasily
as she listed to her cousin's lecture. Yet again, she seemed to know
all about their situation, and yet again, she was bossing them all around...
whose kingdom were they in, anyway? Daisy crossed her arms and looked
away, her mask concealing the pout on her face.
"All right, ladies. Ready?" Peach narrowed
her eyes as the others nodded in turn, first Maple, then Plum, then
a reluctant Daisy. "Then let's go...!" She whispered, turning
away from them to face their newest obstacle.
"I can't believe how much Peach knows about everything,"
Daisy overheard Plum whispering admiringly to Maple. Maple nodded once
in reply, her eyes trained carefully on the guards that they were going
to have to get by first.
Daisy, now officially in a bad mood, followed along in
a lackluster fashion. Getting by the first few patrolling guards was
no problem, really. They just rolled along with little purpose, and
with their new powers of agility and stealth, they were able to sneak
by with little difficulty.
"I thought you said they had caught sight of you...?"
Plum whispered to Peach as they approached the entrance to the fortress.
"shouldn't security be better than this?"
"Best not to question good luck," Peach shrugged.
"Besides, it's rather late... perhaps they're refueling?"
Plum nodded, a bit uncertainly, and the four continued
on. The fortress itself was not an enclosed building, but merely a walled
encampment of sorts. Within the main wall, there were scattered warehouses,
undoubtedly containing yet unused machine mades and mechanical parts.
The princesses made their way through the enemy territory by dashing
from building to building, hiding behind the walls and at times inside
the warehouses themselves. There were still, strangely, very few of
the actual machines to be seen. Meanwhile, Daisy was horrified at the
trash and scrap metal that lay about, and the pools and marks of various
oils and fluids that marked the once pristine land.
"They've turned my kingdom into a junk yard..."
She muttered, kicking a discarded ball of lightweight metal. The ball
bounced along, crunched against a wooden wagon with scattered machine
made parts inside, and knocked the entire thing over. The result was
naturally very loud, and very incriminating. Maple elbowed her harshy
as a sudden uprising of metallic, emotionless voices started up from
inside the nearest storehouse. Peach looked around frantically for a
second, trying to find a hiding place, but was yanked behind a similar
wagon by Maple before she could spot anything herself. Plum and Daisy
dashed across the soiled camp and climbed into an empty vat, meant for
holding some sort of liquid.
"Ooh, it STINKS in here..." Daisy gasped, clapping
her hands over her masked face, where her nose would be. Indeed, the
smell of oil was overpowering.
"Sshhh..." Plum reprimanded her, peeking her
head over the walls of the container.
She watched as a company of machine mades marched from
the building, their leader a dully shining creature that looked a lot
like a bow... it was followed by what looked like a company of bouncing
iron arrows. Her eyebrows went up in surprise, and she stifled a giggle
at the absurdity of the creatures. One couldn't say that Smithy wasn't
imaginative, at least.
The Bow look-alike waddled forward, looking around suspiciously.
After a moment, the arrows did the same thing, bouncing around in an
attempt to imitate their master. It was really quite pathetic. The creatures
eventually found their way to the overturned wagon, and rustled around
near it for a bit. After a while, they managed to turn it upright again
and load the parts back in, which was really a marvel considering the
lack of arms in the bunch.
Then, to the dismay of the girls, they were dispersed
around the area to apparently keep watch for the responsible party.
Peach groaned inwardly as the creature who she knew to
be Bowyer, or at least his mechanical look alike, shouted that order.
They could hardly sit there and wait forever, and there was no way of
knowing how long they would remain outside... or decide to look over
where they were hiding. She hadn't gotten a chance to see where Plum
and Daisy had hidden themselves, and there was no way she could ask
Maple without betraying their location with her voice.
Maple, sitting nearby Peach, was thinking up her own
little strategy. Always a fan of mischeif making, she had a hunch that
these little henchmachines were dumber than most, and from her own deductions,
the dumber things were, the more they liked to fight with one another.
So, it was just a matter of inciting some sort of disturbance... and
idea hit her suddenly. It was dark, but her orange outfit would still
stand out even at night, so she'd have to stay behind the wagon...
She searched around frantically, making as little noise
as possible as she did so. Peach fixed her with a quizzical look, unsure
of what she was doing and more than a little nervous about it. Maple
tended to be more impulsive than most, and there was no telling what
that girl could be up to... before Peach could really do anything, though,
Maple had found what she was searching for-- a rock. Not a very large
one, but it was enough to... to... Peach blinked as she realized what
was about to happen.
Just as the realization struck Peach, a bored Flunkie
was struck by the rock that Maple had found, and presently thrown at
it. It was knocked over by the impact, and the surrounding Flunkies
all jumped back in surprise.
"What do you think you're doing!?" Peach gasped,
luckily not overheard due to the commotion the rock had caused.
"Just watch..." Maple snickered, suppressing
her amusement as much as possible.
The targeted Flunkie jumped up to it's feet, hopping
around in consternation.
"What was THAT for?" It squeaked angrily to
its nearest companion.
"Wha-?" The other started, but its reply was
cut off as the offended flunkie tacked him and began beating him with
his head. (Which was yet another sight that Maple had to try very hard
not to laugh too loud at.) This soon resulted in a general melee, which
presented the perfect opportunity for escape.
Peach yanked Maple, who was still giggling helplessly
at the confusion she had caused, to her feet, and dashed from behind
the wagon just as the Bowyer-clone caught sight of what was going on.
They were spotted, but there was not much he could do with his Flunkies
engaged in their brawl... Plum, from the other side of the yard, realized
what was going on and hopped lightly out of the vat, followed by a rather
light-headed Daisy, who had been inhaling old oil fumes for that entire
time.
"Stop! Stop you will...! ArGh..." the voice
of the helpless Bowyer clone echoed through the encampment, addressing
both the princessess and the Flunkies. Of course, neither group listened,
and the Princesses dashed away, no longer with any real need for stealth.
"Quick, let's get out of here before he wakes the
rest of them up..." Peach shouted to them, pointing to the exit
to the encampment not far ahead.
"It's kind of late for that..." Plum replied,
pointing behind them, where a fearsome mass of metallic monsters were
now approaching.
"Eep..." was the only thing that Daisy could
find to say, which nicely accented Maple's "Ack!"
The four simulaneously decided that their best bet was
to run for the exit before they could surround the camp. They did manage
to make it as far as the exit before the machine mades realized it might
be to their benefit to stop them from escaping in a more efficient way
then merely chasing after them. When this realization DID hit them,
however, the result was that several mechanical shysters bounced in
from both the left and right sides of the walled camp, and the remaining
patrol guards closed in from ahead.
"Drat," Peach muttered.
"All right, well, are we Ninjis are what?"
Maple pointed out defiantly. "We can take these hunks of junk."
"Or we can try, at least..." Plum replied,
slightly less confident. Daisy let out a screech as a Flunkie zoomed
by them, laughing nastily as it nearly hit its target... but its laughter
stopped abruptly as it flew past and embedded itself in a tree, instead.
Peach turned toward the source of this attack, wrinkling
her nose with distaste as she saw Bowyer launching his flunkies and
letting out his annoying, distasteful "Nya, ha ha" as he did
so. She quickly ducked beneath a bouncing Shyster clone, flattening
herself against the wall, and the other princesses took her for an example,
thereby getting themselves out of range of the arrows. A few were launched
up and over the fortress wall, but were inaccurate and didn't particularly
affect them.
Maple whipped out her given weapon, a golf club, and
joined Peach with her frying pan in disarming the Shysters. Daisy and
Plum forged ahead while they were so distracted, and disarmed the approaching
patrol machines, who were now uselessly blaring their alarms.
Peach whacked a bouncing Shyster with her frying pan,
sending it reeling off it's pogo stick and sitting dazed on the floor.
One of its companions jumped up behind her, but before it could land
on its target, Maple swung expertly at a rock lying on the floor and
sent it smashing into the Shyster clone, knocking it off target and
to the floor. Peach nodded once in thanks, and seeing that the Flunkies
and their misguided master had figured out that they should leave the
fortress to be effective, followed Daisy and Plum into the wilderness
around the clearing.
The machine mades started toward them as if to follow,
but from the wilderness surrounding the clearing that the encampment
sat in, some unexpected reinforcements emerged. The band of Ninjis that
had helped them before emerged from the shadows, yelling various battle
cries and stopping the machines in their tracks.
"What on earth...?" Peach wondered aloud, and
she blinked as the elder Ninji who had granted them use of the stars
answered from behind her.
"Some of our hunters heard all the commotion, and
we figured that something had gone wrong..." He smirked as she
turned to face him. "It was my son's idea to help you. You're lucky
he likes you so much." Peach opened her mouth to reply, but before
she could do so, the Ninji held up one of his arms to stop her. "Just
go. Keep the stars; like my son said, it's not as though we couldn't
make more."
Peach nodded and bounded off past the clearing, the fortress,
and most importantly, the machine mades, and joined her fellow princesses
back on the path down the cliffs. Chai City let off a soft unimposing
glow from below, showing no trace of the less than welcome creatures
inhabiting it... and the princesses warily continued down, with little
else to inhibit their progress. The sounds of the battle behind them
were soon barely audible as they climbed downward, and they entered
the valley with the moon still shining brightly overhead.
The city, once alive with its inhabitants even this late
at night, sat silently, with nothing moving at all. Daisy looked about
in horror as she witnessed the destruction that had been levied on her
hometown. Bandits and minions of Smithy had looted just about everything,
and broken glass scattered along the once clean-swept paths, along with
heaps of trash and broken or forgotten loot. Businesses and civilian
homes alike had been cleaned out, and there was no sign of life or light
from any building in their range of sight.
"What... what HAPPENED here??" Daisy said finally,
looking around with a dazed look on her face.
"I'm sure your people have taken refuge somewhere..."
Peach said quickly, an apolegetic look in her eyes.
"Yes, but look at this place! Think of how long
it will take to restore it... look at what they've done to my CITY!"
She shouted, stamping her foot. The other princesses shifted uneasily,
Peach being the only one of the three who had in the past dealt with
anything similar to this. "And... and... and what about my CASTLE?
Come on! If I see so much as a stray bandit inside that place..."
Her eyebrows knitted together, and her eyes narrowed angrily. "Let's
just say that I'll make them sorry!"
The other three exchanged glances.
"Daisy..." Peach said finally, but she was
cut off by another exclamation.
"What are we waiting for?! If they've done anything
to my room I'm going to... to... well, I'm going to do SOMETHING, and
they won't like it, either...!" So saying, she dashed off toward
her castle, her shoes crunching on the glass that littered the streets.
"But... doesn't she care about her people at all...?"
Peach said, she herself dazed, as Daisy dashed off in her fit of anger.
"I'm sure she does," Plum said reasonably.
"She's just in shock, is all."
"Of... of course," Peach agreed. She looked
after her, a sad look in her eyes. She herself would have though of
nothing but the welfare of her people in a time like this... the buildings
could all be rebuilt, but a person...?
"We should go make sure she doesn't do anything
stupid," Maple pointed out bluntly. Peach nodded, and they started
out through the broken city toward the nearby castle after Daisy.
---------
Meanwhile
---------
Pon stared out the window of the room he had been tossed
into, Hydraulico sitting silently nearby. Their predicament was a rather
weighty one... Smithy's minions had entered the castle, and with Croco
taking up residence there in recent weeks there had been no real way
for them to escape. And of course, the opposite of escape was capture,
which left them in the position they were now in-- that is, as prisoners
of Smithy and, less importantly, Croco's gang.
Pon had watched helplessly as the people of Chai who
did not run at the first signs of trouble were taken prisoner... they
had been shipped off to ominious sounding places such as "The Ruins,"
or thrown into the castle's own largely unused dungeons. He was still
uninformed to the bulk of what was going on, and knew only that some
creature named "Smithy" (who Hydraulico had dutifully described
to him from a second-hand account from his master's brother) had taken
over Sarasaland... but most importantly, there was no word on Princess
Daisy. (Or, from Hydraulico's point of view, Luigi.)
He peered out into the darkness, seeing something moving
from far below his prison in the tower. The figure's bright yellow clothing
stood out against the otherwise dark city, and it marched right up to
the castle and went in. Pon scratched his head. Was that person coming
to rescue them? He blinked then as three more similarly dressed figures
bounded into view, and suddenly an idea struck him. He beckoned Hydraulico
over, and pointed at the figures below.
"Can you... can you identify those people?"
He asked hopefully. Hyrdraulico faced the window and looked out, and
emitted several beeps and various noises. Pon shifted nervously.
"Subject: Princess Plum... Princess Maple... Princess
Peach." The machine noted, then, in a show of affection that was
uncommon for a machine... "Peach, but my master is not with her..."
The machine let out the equivalent of a sigh, and made his way away
from the window to brood in his own way.
"Then that... that other MUST have been Daisy!"
Pon exclaimed. Perhaps there was hope for them, after all...
~Luigi of the Pipes~
"There," Luigi said, peering over Frogfucius's
shoulder and pointing out at a giant sphinx. "That must be where
Watinga's holding them."
"What makes you say that?" Mario asked, glancing
over the other shoulder, then back at his brother.
"The bugs, the slaves circling its base, the thunderbolt
scars on the roof, need I go on?"
"Wow. Those cracks were put there by thunderbolts?"
"Mallow must be quite upset," Frogfucius sighed.
"Though I guess he's not too upset, or it would be..."
A droplet of water hit Mario's nose. "You just had
to bring that up, didn't you?" the plumber moaned. Before long,
the light drizzle had become torrential, then monsoon-ic. "Rain
in the desert, that's some heck of an upset kid."
Luigi took off his hat and wrung the water out, then,
putting it back on, he said, "Let's just get in and out of there
quick. Intentional or not, Mallow just helped us out." To emphasize,
he pointed out at the sphinx again, for the buggy guards and slaves
had all gone indoors. "Insects and water don't mix."
"Wouldn't getting in have been the easy part anyway?
The halls are gonna be twice as patrolled with all of them inside."
"Unless most of those bugs are trying to dry off."
"Oh please..."
"Whatever you decide," Frogfucius said, putting
the bus into a landing cycle, "be careful Grasshoppers. I'll wait
until you come back, though I might move somewhere safer..."
"A frog intimidated by flies," Luigi smirked.
"Go figure."
The bus shook, causing Luigi to slip and land on the
cold, wet floor of the cloud. Whether it was turbulence or Frogfucius
intentionally rocking the vehicle, the plumber didn't bother ask, though
he kicked at Mario's legs when he saw his brother laughing.
The bus set down on the sloshing sand, and the Mario
brothers hopped out. They quickly padded over the sand, so as to avoid
sinking in it, and waved briefly when the reached the entrance, right
before slipping in. Frogfucius grinned, then restarted the bus and floated
away, basking in the warm downfall.
***
"Burning!" Mallow screamed, jutting out his
tongue and running around the cell like a chicken with its head cut
off, tears streaming down his cheeks.
"I told you it looked spicy," Sonny chuckled.
"Prison food always is."
"Taste buds curling up and evaporating!!!"
"Hmm." Sonny glared out the tiny block that
had been made into a window for the cell mates. "Keep up that bawling
though. It's got all the bugs running. Maybe that'll help Mario and
Luigi get in."
"If they ever found out we got captured," the
cloud-kid choked.
***
As Pon sat by the window, patiently waiting for Daisy
to rescue him, he heard the mumble of voices. The guards...
"I'm telling you," one called, just loud enough
to be heard, "Smithy made me special. Flame-retardant special!"
"Come on man," the other replied, "it's
not flame-retardant, it's flaming retarded."
"Grr..." By the judge of their voices, Pon
determined the guards to be the usual Bandits. "Hey, were those
footprints here before?" Pon's eyes shot open under his spectacles.
"Why, no Genius, what was your first guess?! Those
look nothing like our feet!"
"And there's three more pair over here. A lot lighter
though, the first person must've stomped into his. Or her's..."
"Do... do you think somebody snuck in while we were
stealing that other guy's money back there?!"
"And you say I'M the stupid one?!"
During this time, Pon had crept to the closet and taken
out the package Parakarry had delivered, and surprisingly, the voices
outside seemed to get louder to compliment his hearing. He ripped the
box open and pulled out its treasure: a porcelain tea-pot he had ordered,
which miraculously hadn't shattered when Parakarry had crashed into
his window. He was going to regret this...
"We'd better tell the others that there are intruders,
or..."
"I don't think so gentlemen!" Pon hollered.
The two looked up just in time to see the falling pot. It smashed the
first over the head. The second growled and started for the door, but
Pon threw the lid (which he had saved from dropping for such an instance)
at him, knocking them both unconscious. "Hurry up Princesses,"
the Pionpi muttered, looking forlornly at Hydraulico.
***
"Do you know how much farther?" Tadpoule asked,
as he plodded next to Kari.
"We're getting close to Muda Town," the black
Yoshi answered, "which is why I'm not carrying you."
"Oh?"
"Eh, you need the exercise anyway Frog-Man. Look
at those scrawny legs."
"I see you're hot on the compliments today..."
"Oh? Do I sense a bit of sarcasm in the smart guy's
words?"
"Spending this many days with you could... could
bring Frogfucius to a sarcastic remark."
"I'm hurt," Kari suddenly pouted. She turned
away and covered her eyes.
Tadpoule's brow furrowed. "There now," he said,
waddling towards her, "I was just jo..."
Kari spun and quickly licked Tadpoule's face. "Psyche!"
she giggled, as the frog made a disgusted face and wiped at the place
where her tongue had touched. "I take it all back," he groaned.
Kari laughed louder, and after a brief hesitation Tadpoule
joined in. Before long they were both laughing hysterically, for no
reason other than to let out their nervous tensions. After what seemed
five minutes, they both stopped to catch their breaths. Yet the laughing
continued...
Kari jumped, bumping into Tadpoule and sending them both
toppling into the dirt. The laughter continued, a deep bellow that steadily
became louder. After several quick glances every-which-way, Tadpoule
finally found the source of the cackle and pointed it out to Kari.
On a hill overlooking them sat a frog, fat and green,
with an enormous mouth and bulging eyes. The amphibian wore a sparkling
crown, and snug purple robes. At his side was a near identical clone
to himself, only completely shaded in a metallic grey.
"Feel the power of Wart and Mamu!" the colorful
one shouted, charging down the hill on to skid to a stop a few feet
after. "Wart and Mamu?! No no, we need something catchier than
that. Wartmamu..." it, probably the Wart one, continued. "I've
got it! WarMamu! Dang, I'm good."
The other, metal one snapped to attention at the sound
of the name. "Oh, so you like that name?" Wart continued.
"It's our new bonding program activation code thing-a-ma-jig then."
"What in blazes...?" Tadpoule shouted.
"Oh, sorry for not explaining. Smithy wants us to
destroy you and stuff."
"Oh..."
"You shall taste the wrath of... WarMamu!!!"
***
Goombario darted through the mountains at a rapid pace,
his incredibly bright mind currently running a blank on his situation.
And he was almost back to the cave. How would he take out Ethel...?
Unbeknownst to the Goomba, two bright red eyes watched
him from behind a rock. It sprang, as quick as a wink, and caught the
shroom in its hairy arms, then started to recoil itself up a thin silk
line with its back four legs.
Goombario didn't even realize he was screaming until
the Suu spider had carried him the length of the web line. It had been
so fast...
"Well hello there," the spider said, wrapping
a handkerchief around its neck and pulling out some poorly kept silverware.
"Great," Goombario sighed. "Just call
me lunch."
"Don't mind if I do," the spider snickered
in a sinister voice, rubbing its four arms together hungrily.
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