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Chapter 16:
~Vorpal~
"Well, I'd like to thank everyone for their help," Frogfucius
said as the inhabitants of Birabuto Outpost returned to their homes,
slightly more enlightened than when they left.
Soon, only four were left in the town square. Frogfucius, Mallow and
Sonny stood talking. Squid Guy edged closer to hear the conversation.
"Wow! So you actually played golf with Mario?" Mallow asked
Sonny.
"Sure, you know, I may be the best golfer in all of Sarasaland,
but Mario sure knows how to swing those clubs."
"I would like to thank you again for offering to escort us to
Chai," Frogfucius interupted.
"It's no problem at all! Any friend of Mario is a friend of mine,"
Sonny said as he took off his hat and wiped the sweat off his brow.
"Sure is a sunny day, isn't it?"
"Well, let's get going before I dry up," Frogfucius insisted.
"WAIT!" came a cry from Squid Guy.
"Who said that?" Frogfucius looked around in amazement.
"I did," said Squid Guy as he flopped before the three friends.
"Wha-what are you?" Mallow asked.
"I'm a misfit created by Headmaster Smith of the Sarasaland Academy."
"Ah, yes, I was wishing to go there," Frogfucius started
but Squid Guy interupted.
"You don't understand, Headmaster Smith is Smithy."
"What? That's not possible, I saw him destroyed myself!"
Mallow exclaimed.
"It's true," Squid Guy continued. "I- he transported
the Mario Bros. into what looked like a swamp land."
"That's the craziest story I've ever heard," Mallow stated.
"It's all true," said a voice unseen to the others. Hydralico
revealed himself. "I also saw what happened. I came this way searching
for Luigi, he's close to here."
"That's gotta be the Salla Swamp. There's only one way into it
from the Birabuto Desert. We'll have to take the bus to Furai Town."
"Does not compute." Hydralico said, "Buses do not exist
in Birabuto."
Mallow giggled, "Silly robot! The Nimbus Bus! How do you think
Frogfucius and I got here?"
Frogfucius nodded after hearing all of this, "First we will travel
to Furai Town and find the Mario Brothers. After that, we will formulate
a plan on what we should do next."
All five nodded and Mallow pulled out a whistle. No sound came out
as he blowed on it, but soon a giant lakitu in a bus shaped cloud slowly
dropped from the sky.
The five then jumped on the bus.
"You have a guide?" the lakitu bus driver asked, "Because,
like I said before, I don't know Sarasaland geography that well."
"Yes," Frogfucious said, "We have a native with us,
Sonny, he'll direct you to Furai Town."
"Okay then, we're off!" the bus driver exclaimed as he lifted
off into the sky.
Sonny sat near the front, directing the lakitu how to navigate the
feirce desert. Mallow was enjoying a quick nap, as Hydralico looked
about the harsh terrain. Frogfucius and Squid Guy sat in the front.
"So what exactly are you?" Frogfucius asked.
"Well, they call me Squid Guy. But I'm useless."
Frogfucius was shocked by that comment, "And where did you get
that idea?"
Squid Guy paused a moment, "I guess because everyone said so,
and I can't do anything worthwhile."
Frogfucius pondered a moment, and then he said, "Our greatest
glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fail."
~Luigi of the Pipes~
"Hmm," Goombario murmered. "So we're off to Chai, and
it'll be even longer than I expected."
"We can always head back to Easton Village and take a warp pipe..."
Chibobuigi mumbled.
"Or we can take the more adventurous way. Since we can't get
into the Endless Forest because of those bugs Heidi saw in the canopy,
we'll have to get our thrills in some other way."
"Alright alright," the black 'shroom groaned. "Heidi?"
"It's fine with me," the Shy Gal replied.
"Then let's get going!" Goombario exclaimed. "Unless
you want to find a different way into the forest."
The other two answered negatively, so the trio turned and walked to
their destination.
---------
Meanwhile
---------
"If Croco and his gang had you pinned in the castle," Mallow
asked. "How'd you get out?"
"I simply calculated the shifts of the guards at the doors, then
made my escape in the time they weren't prepared," the robot answered.
Mallow and Sonny gaped at Hydraulico for a bit, but received nothing
more than a slight uplift of the Mekabon's mouth.
"I couldn't do that," Sonny said at last.
"Eh, you probably could," Mallow responded. "It's not
much harder than lining up a hole-in-one, is it?"
"Speaking of the castle," Hydraulico interrupted, "I
must send some help to the head-pionpi. He's 'caught between a rock
and a hard place', as you people tend to coin."
"Hmm...," Sonny mumbled. "I could probably go there
and help him. You'll come, right Mallow?"
"What about Grandpa?" Mallow asked.
"After we find the Mario Bros., we can all go."
"Negative," Hydraulico interrupted. "Master Luigi and
his brother will attempt to rescue the lost princesses."
"Okay," Sonny said. "So the three of us can go, and
we'll leave Frogfucius and that other guy with the Marios."
"Well," Mallow said, "I... guess that's okay. But Grandpa
might... uh... need company! I'd better stay with him..."
"If you don't wanna risk your neck, then be my guest."
"You know I'm being a coward again," Mallow moaned. "Just
for that, I'll come with you after all."
"Great!" Sonny exclaimed. "How about you robot?"
"I accept. I do not like leaving my master's side, but he can
protect himself without me."
"That's even better," Sonny said. "Now should we tell
him?"
The trio looked over at Frogfucius and Squid Guy.
"Umm," Mallow said, "not just yet. Grandpa said we
weren't supposed to make a plan until we found Mario and Luigi anyway..."
"Perhaps you need a bit of enlightenment, Grasshopper,"
Frogfucius said.
"Enlightenment? All I want is a purpose to my life. Do you think
you could give me one?"
Frogfucius frowned. "No, a purpose cannot be handed out like
chocolate-chip cookies."
"Oh..."
"The reason, is that every life has purpose. You just need to
find the one already determined for you."
"I see. Can you help me?"
"That's what I'm here for. But first, we need to find a way to
establish others' trust of you."
"What?"
"You're a creation of Smithy, Grasshopper. It's quite doubtful
that anyone will believe you to be a 'good guy'. We shall be meeting
the Mario brothers soon, so they shall be your first test."
Squid Guy gulped. This was going to be anything but easy...
~Meanwhile~
Furai Town buzzed with conversation as Mario and Luigi passed through
its gates of grandeur. Of course, none of the conversation was focused
upon the pair of plucky plumbers. The townsfolk were simply ranting
with each other or mumbling to themselves. And despite Mario being considered
the hero of Sarasaland after he had trounced Tatanga, no one seemed
to notice the red-capped one and his brother as they strolled through
the burg. At least, that was what they thought...
***
Unbeknownst to the Mario Bros., a pair of beady yellow eyes were watching
them from the cover of a rooftop. The creature began to beat its long
wings slowly and silently, picking itself off the roof and humming into
the night sky. A lone arrow fell from the insect's hands, clattering
uselessly in a vacant alleyway...
***
King Watinga clasped a pair of hands behind his back as he paced back
and forth outside of the Headmaster Smith's office. Perhaps he would
finally be able to execute a strike of... revenge... against the painter.
His thoughts were endlessly tormented by that bulbous nose and rigged
black mustache. Those large blue eyes twinkled at him as the gloved
hand brought down the enormous flyswatter. Thank the stars that Watinga
had survived, and that the king had been mysteriously blessed by his
newfound size in a freak accident.
The king's yellow faceted eyes scanned over the waiting room as the
other pair of blackish-blue hands smoothed his fine antennae. His frail
wings buzzed excitedly, yet calmly, if such a mix were even possible
to comprehend.
The door to Smith's office finally creaked open, followed by a loud
thump as an gigantic green frog slammed the door against the wall. The
frog, wearing a crown, a large blue robe to accommodate his girth, and
a golden pendant, gritted his sharp teeth and raised a clawed fist,
shaking it angrily and cursing in some odd language.
When the frog was finally "escorted" to the door by a pair
of grey-robed Bandits, a voice from within bellowed, "NEXT!"
King Watinga gulped nervously, pressed his fears to the back of his
mind, and scampered inside.
***
Kooper would have danced for joy when he saw the house of snow in
the distance, except that he and Kolorado were still perched upon the
top of Flik's head.
"Hey Flik," Kooper chimed. Flik sighed in response, but
Kooper took it that woeful Flurry was listening. "Err... does it
hurt to have us sitting up here?"
"Don't act like you care about me," Flik responded, "because
I know you don't."
"But..."
"Stop it."
"Come on old chap," Kolorado interjected. "Certainly
someone cares about you. Your mum and dad, perhaps?"
"I told you, they don't care. No one cares. They wish I would
just die. You guys wish I would die too. That's why you're trying to
crush me. But I don't care. Sit up there and kill me, see if I care..."
Kooper sighed. The Flurry was depressing, enough that he wanted to
throw himself over a cliff to get away. If it weren't for the close
proximity of the snow house, he probably would have...
The trio were so caught up in their conversation, that they didn't
realize they were skating onto a frozen pond. Their first clue was the
sound of a loud crack. Kooper glanced back and confirmed his fears,
for the sound had been formed by the splintering of ice. "Uh, Flik?"
he whispered.
"What?" Flik groaned.
"Have you ever skated over this pond before?"
"Once or twice. I had to make sure that this village was abandoned
and no one would see me."
"How about with two Koopas on your back?"
Flik's response was cut off by a yelp from Kolorado, who pointed down
at the ice. The cracks in the ice seemed to circle them, as if they
were living creatures.
"I guess you might want to hang on," Flik said as he juked
sharply to the left, almost sending the Koopas flying. He skated for
the lone spot of the circle that hadn't formed yet, his speed becoming
dangerously fast. Kooper noted that even if they did get out of the
circle, Flik wouldn't stop fast enough to keep them from tumbling over
the upcoming ledge beyond that. The Flurry apparently realized that
Kooper was concerned and spoke up, "There's a protrusion I can
land on right under that ledge. And it's not like I really care that
you were worried, I just don't want to put up with you bawling."
Flik had since cleared the ring of cracks and slammed the side of
his skates into the ice. As expected, he didn't stop in time and they
skidded right over. What they hadn't expected was that the promised
protrusion was missing.
"Wrong waterfall," Flik said hastily. Kolorado cleared his
throat, then the trio commenced screaming, smashing through the ice
below themselves moments later. Kooper immediately swam up, determined
to get out of the frigid water, but the swift current had yanked them
away from their hole. The two Koopas couldn't help but faint from the
cold.
***
Flik moaned. So there hadn't been a ledge, and now the two Koopas
would freeze to death. Another reason for people to despise him. It
just wasn't fair!
Maybe, though, he could redeem himself a bit if he saved the Koopas.
It was worth a shot, especially since he noticed a fishing hook dangling
in front of him. The Flurry paddled ahead and snagged the hook on his
skate, then tangled the line around Kolorado and Kooper as they passed,
finishing with a hard tug.
***
Fishmael sighed. They had promised bountiful fishing in this tundra,
and so far he hadn't caught-a one. The hole he had cut in the ice for
his fishing line seemed to shrink with every passing second. "Alroight,
li'l fishies," the expert fisherman whispered, pulling his blue
and orange plaid parka tighter over his large frame. "I'm goin'
ta count ta ten. If I don' catch a fishie then, I'm back ta Toad Town.
One... two... three..."
Nothing.
"Four... foive... six..."
Still nothing.
"Seven... eight... noine..."
The bobber on his line sank. Fishmael whooped and reared back, stretching
his muscles greatly. With little ado, the line and its catch were up.
But the catch was hardly what he expected.
"You ain't no fishie!" Fishmael hollered at the gasping
snow mound he'd hooked.
"I expected that," the mound sighed. "Even after I
save them, still everybody hates me..."
"Now I didn't speak that."
"But I know that's what you were thinking."
Fishmael sighed and looked at the turtles he brought with the ungrateful
mound. "Your friends ain't lookin' too good."
"They aren't my friends. No one is my friend. I have no..."
"Oither way..."
"Oh..."
"Well, I be gettin' myself back ta Toad Town. This tundra ain't
no place for a master fisherman such as myself."
Fishmael grabbed his fishing pole and tackle box, glared at the snow
mound, and waddled off.
***
"SO YOU WISH TO FIGHT MARIO?!" the ominous Headmaster Smith
bellowed.
"Y-yes sir," Watinga stuttered.
"TELL ME, WHY ARE YOU SO CERTAIN OF VICTORY?"
"Well, you are familiar with Fighter Flies and Bunbuns, the native
insects of Sarasaland, yes?"
"THAT I AM."
"Well, they regard me as a leader. Our numbers are vast. If we
all strike..."
"PLEASE! I AM WELL AWARE OF HOW POWERFUL MULTITUDES REALLY ARE.
YOU'LL FAIL ME..."
Watinga prepared a retort, but was interrupted when a wiry Bunbun
shattered through one of the Headmaster's windows.
"My liege," it gasped, "I've spotted the painter and
his brother in Furai."
"Thank you," Watinga replied, nodding his head to dismiss
the spy.
"HMM..." Smith murmured when the bug had left. "I AM
SHORT ON TIME, SO I WILL GRANT YOU THE CHANCE TO STRIKE. DO NOT FAIL
ME."
"Thank you!" Watinga repeated. In the blink of an eye, he
had buzzed off.
***
Tadpoule poked gently at the "Roasted Melon" set before
him. It was considered a delicacy among Yoshis, but Alexis would have
much rather been served a juicy fly. Still, it was impolite to reject
food given to you, and this would probably be his best meal for quite
some time. Beggars can't be choosers.
"What's wrong, frog-man?" Kari asked. "Don't like your
meal?"
"Oh, it's fine," Tadpoule said. To prove so much, he jabbed
his fork as deep into the fruit as it could go and yanked out a large
chunk, promptly shoving it into his mouth. His eyes bulged in disgust
and he began to cough hoarsely.
Kari burst into laughter. "You're not supposed to eat the core,"
she said between giggles.
"Yes," Tadpoule croaked. "I can see that now..."
Andrew, a white Yoshi, entered the room with two more plates full
of Roasted Melons and silenced his cousin with a glare.
"Eating the core is fine and all for Yoshis," Andy began,
"but our digestive systems are much stronger than yours'. Just
don't poke so hard next time."
Tadpoule nodded and took a smaller piece of the fruit. It really wasn't
bad, about as far as a fruit could go with an insectivore frog. What
he really wanted now, though, was a sweet and juicy Cricket Pie.
"So what's for dessert Andy?" Kari asked. Tadpoule's eyes
widened marginally. Had she just read his mind?!
"Hmm," Andy mumbled. "Apple Cookies a la Mode."
"Mmm," Kari sighed. She lashed out her long red tongue and
grabbed two of the melons, swallowing them whole. Andy scowled at his
cousin's atrocious manners.
"I find something odd," Tadpoule interrupted. "Most
Yoshis bear the name ‘Yoshi', do they not?"
"We're special!" Kari beamed.
"The common Yoshis do," Andy answered, "but a few clans,
such as our own, decided that having individual names would be less...
confusing." Kari nodded in agreement.
"I see," Tadpoule said.
"What about you, frog-man?" Kari asked.
"Excuse me?"
"What are you doing all the way out here, anyway?"
"Ah, I'm from the Academy of Sarasaland. And now I'm trying to
get back there."
Kari and Andy's faces displayed pure confusion. Tadpoule sighed.
***
"Let's hurry over to the local Pionpi House, Weege," Mario
said. "We've still got a lot of ground to cover."
Luigi nodded and looked around Furai. After Tatanga's defeat, Daisy
had reported on the mental condition of her citizens. Almost all of
them had made amends, but there were naturally a few bad apples. Along
with that, the majority of the Fighter Flies, or simply Flies as they
were commonly referred to, and the Bunbuns had turned to pure thievery
and disorder. Well, it could have been worse...
Luigi turned his thoughts back to his brother. "...we've healed,"
Mario was saying, "we can pick up some supplies. Mushrooms and
such. I intend to take a bunch of stuff though, so we may need some
backpacks..."
The taller plumber smiled and smoothed his black mustache. He couldn't
recall the last time he and Mario had worn backpacks, but it didn't
sound any harder than lugging around that vacuum Elvin, the paranormal
scientist, had bestowed him with to vanquish the ghosts in his mansion.
Mario suddenly turned somber. "I hope the princesses are okay,"
he sighed. "If Smithy still has them, they're as good as cooked."
"Heh," Luigi muttered. "I prefer my friends uncooked.
Especially my more attractive ones."
"Like Daisy?" Mario chuckled.
Luigi's face flushed red, but he abandoned it with a mischievous grin.
"I was thinking more along the line of Peach," he swooned.
It was Mario's turn to blush. He curled one fist and threatened, "Why
I oughta..." Luigi put up a mock defensive pose, which in turn
brought the brothers to laughter. Oddly enough, Luigi noted, was that
the performance hadn't drawn any attention from the crowds of people.
Oh well...
The brothers continued their stroll, until Mario jerked his head to
the left and stopped. "What's wrong?" Luigi questioned.
"I... I thought I heard something," the shorter one replied.
"It was like a... a..."
Luigi turned his head just as suddenly. There was a new sound in the
air. "...buzzing?" Luigi finished. Mario nodded once, but
the rest of the motion was cut off as a large black silhouette sliced
between the brothers, inducing a dizzied spin from them both. When Luigi
recovered his bearings, he noticed that he was facing the opposite way
they were going, and that the crowds had left the streets for safety.
Luigi spun angrily to face the silhouette, inadvertently twisting
in time with Mario. The sight was appalling. The beast was basically
a gigantic fly, with its yellow faceted eyes, mandible mouth, blackish-blue
skin, frail wings, and six legs. Unlike a fly, though, the monstrosities
silky antennae smoothed against the back of its skull, wrapping into
a sort of ponytail. The hands and feet all adorned vicious claws, as
well.
The creature laughed in a baritone voice. "So we meet again,"
it sneered. Luigi glanced over at Mario, who shook his head confusingly.
"I'm hurt," the monster continued, "that you would forget
me, foul painter!"
This time, Luigi caught Mario's look as his eyes shot open. "I
don't know who you're talking about," the green-capped one hollered,
"but we're plumbers."
"Silence!" the creature bellowed. "I do not address
my speech to you, sniveling coward!" Luigi began to fume, but the
fly scowled at Mario instead. "How dare you forget the presence
of King Watinga!"
Mario's eyes widened further, a look of shock contorting his features.
"Mario," Luigi said. "You know him?"
Mario nodded. "Eight or nine years ago. Peach instructed me to
help the crew at her paint studio. A little fly boss named ‘Watinga'
was causing all the trouble. I thought I had squished him... but apparently
not."
Another adventure I wasn't privy to, Luigi thought. Despite that,
he gave Mario a meek nod.
"Enough of this foolishness!" Watinga roared. His mandibles
separated, releasing a shrill cry from the monarch's mouth. Seven Bunbuns
and five Fighter Flies flew to the king's side. "WHAT?!" he
screeched. "Where are the rest of you?!"
"Scouting missions," a Fly mumbled.
Watinga quivered in agony, then pointed a spindly finger at the bros.
"Attack!" he bellowed. "Attack, ATTACK, A-TTACK!!!"
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