Perhaps I overcompensated then.
See, some of the feedback that I got from teh first ending was that Jim didn't seem like he'd really done that much wrong. He seemed like he was just a guy who couldnt' take a hint.
Not seeming remorseful is probably gonna have to be the first priority for things to fix.
EDIT: Ok, I was referring to my first attempt to fix it after Masa's suggestion. Try this one:
Tom was probably making it up. And even if he wasn’t, what did Jenny’s brother know? I bet the guy wouldn’t even remember he said that. Probably just some threat he made to impress Jenny’s friends. Make himself look cool. Older brothers do that.
Then again, I think he was home that weekend I told Jenny about Tom and Amanda. He would have heard the story, and since he wasn’t crazy, he would’ve known it had nothing to it. Must’ve figured I was just making it up to break them up so I could have her.
Maybe he was right. I don’t know how I managed to miss that one.
Then it hit me like I wanted to hit Tom. Have you ever read a book, then got to about the last chapter, then some new piece of information popped up that told you that the guy you thought was the hero was actually the villain? Imagine that feeling, then pretend the book’s your own journal, and you’ll have a good sense of how I felt right about then.
I was obsessed with her more than in love. Thought I knew what was best for her. Now that I think about it, best for her seemed a lot more like best for me. I pretty likely ruined her life.
Stalking and manipulating. Yeah, I’m the villain all right. I never was good at catching onto clues. Chances are, she was only nice ‘cause she thought if she wasn’t, I’d go do something crazy. Scared of me.
Hell. And up until then I thought Tom was the asshole.
“I wish you told me that sooner, Tom,” was all I said. I meant it, too. It would have been nice to have a real reason to be there. I could have spent a few hours apologizing to the corpse for all the shit I put her through. Until her brother kicked me out of the funeral home. I owed her that much. Plenty of time left.
Nah, I couldn’t go back there half-drunk, smelling like a bar. Get kicked out before I got in the same room as Jenny. She’d be in the ground tomorrow, probably before my hangover let me up for air. ‘Cause I had a lot of booze ahead of me.
I picked up a fresh mug of beer. So much for apologizing.