Qwirtsux: Hold on, hold on. Can we reboot to the last save first? I mean do I REALLY have to be "Qwirtsux"?
GORE: That depends. Can you change it in the menu?
GORE: THEN IT IS DONE.GORE-ILLA punches Qwirtsux in the face.
Golem: *Examines the saving screen* Guys, looks like there's only one slot left to save it in. And it's taken by an existing Gamehiker's Inferno file. Whoa! When does Moondo join our party? ...Hey, I'm the lowest level character in this one.
KoD: Let it go, Golem. Let's just save the game and move on. Who can imagine what sort of horrors Retro is going through in the hands of all of those succubus'?
Meanwhile, you see Retro laying on a bed with a group of succubus surrounding him, running their fingers through his hair and laying their heads on his chest, giggling in a playful manner.
GORE: We're coming for you Retro! But probably not until after some boss battles, I need to be a higher level than all of you since I'm the main character.
Golem: Okay, I'm all saved.
KoD: And there's four of us. That's a decent party size.
Golem: Yes. *Dramatic pause* Let's go.
The group set off for...well, the direction Retro was taken I suppose, in hopes of rescuing him. They journey across fields of volcanic ash, with geysers that shoot off lava scattered all around. A road that leads to a large mountain stretches all of the way out to the horizon.
Qwirtsux: I recognize that mountain..it's the tallest one in all of Hell. I know this because it can't go up higher than the surface line since, ya know, there's people up there and all.
Golem: SO WHAT.
Everyone laughs.GORE-ILLA punches Qwirtsux in the face.
KoD: Hm..think they took Retro up there?
Golem: Prolly did. Let's head on up.
They reach the base of the mountain after only a short few minutes of walking on the underworld, because that's how long it usually takes. They come to a stop when they see huge pieces of ice blocking the way up.
KoD: Looks like it's unnatural ice..I'm guessing heat won't work?
Golem: Maybe we need a uh, password. *Walks up to the ice* Hm... Little Samson. Space Harrier. Uh. Glem Bridges.
KoD: That's just stuff you like, Golem.
Golem: Ah yeah.
GORE: You're doing it wrong. *Shoves Golem aside* Though now I have an idea of what password to guess when I'm hacking your GH account. Though I am an admin, but where is the challenge in that?
GORE stares intensely at the ice for a few moments.
GORE: Hello Luiigii. *Punches the ice repeatedly until it shatters*
KoD: Neat. But I could've probably used crash.
Golem: Maybe next time.
KoD: Anyway, let's climb this mountain!
One very short screenwipe later.
KoD: We did it! That was a very character building climb, actually. Don't you agree?
Golem: Yeah, especially when we defeated Cerberus and saved the Dwarves of the mountain with our puppet show starring nothing but common rocks.
KoD: Plus I got to fall in love.
Qwirtsux: I had diarrhea the whole time you jerks!
GORE: Ha ha. Oh look, the summit. So where's Retro?
Voice: I'm afraid your friend has betrayed you all. Like you soon will to each other.
Golem: Nuh uh. I saw the save file from 10 hours of gameplay from now.
Voice: Oh crap, so this is your second playthrough then huh? I'd better just skip my monologue then.
GORE: It's not really-
Golem: Er, that's right. So you should just step aside and let us through.
Voice: No chance, it's in the programming. That is, when the forces of the universe created me millions of years ago to be made to serve the Fallen Angel in Hell, I swore to protect this mountain no matter how many times I might die.
KoD: Oh. Cool I guess.
Voice: But death only makes me stronger. I am Scarmiglione! Lord of the underwood, er, world.
A swirling purple vortex opens in front of the group, and from it a demon emerged, shrouded in a tattered brown cloth from which darkness seeped through. A single glowing red eye appeared from under its hood.
GORE: What was your name?
Golem: Try saying that three times fast.
KoD: Can we call you Milon?
Qwirtsux: We only came up here because you have our friend.
Scarmiglione: Oh, that guy who my succubus minions brought back? Yeah. He's just chillin' over across the bridge. You should definitely fight me first though.
The group huddle together to talk about the situation, then turn back around.
GORE: We've come up with a proposition.
GORE: Yeah. C'mere.
Scarmiglione: Well alright.
Scarmiglione walks over to GORE, who stands there unmoving.
Scarmiglione: Well. What did you decide?
GORE: This. *Pushes Scarmiglione back, who trips over KoD- who had beforehand kneeled behind him- and staggers back to the edge of the mountain and falls off of it, screaming.*
Golem: That didn't seem fair, really.
GORE: Who cares. What's he going to do, come back?
Everyone laughs heartily at the thought as they cross the bridge to the other side. They can see a room made out of stone with succubus women going in and out of. As the reach the end of the bridge, a voice from behind stops them.
Scarmiglione: Fools! Death only increases my power!
GORE: This is unexpected.
Golem: LOL back attack.