Tyler: Mount Rushmore!

Golem: What? We're here already?

Tyler: See, the thing is that in a written format like this, we can simply say it happened, and people can IMAGINE how we ended up here.

Fred: Imagination is for losers.

Golem: Wow! Mount Rushmore! It brings a tear to your eye, huh? Our four greatest Presidents: George Washington, Zombie Abraham Lincoln, Vorpal, and Kermit the Frog!

Tyler: *sobbing as singing* ... and the hoooooome of the braaa-- *breaks down crying* Hold me Fred!

Fred: I hate being the straight man here, but where's Director and your house? He said he was going to be here!

Tyler: *completely fine* You're right! What we have here, gentlemen, is a mystery! We need a detective!

Vorpal: *pops up out from behind some bushes in a Sherlock Holmes costume* I'll take the case!

Tyler, Golem, Fred: Master Sleuth Detective Vorpal!

Vorpal: At your service! I shall find your "Director" and perhaps with his guidance this OG will start to make sense!

Golem: *cough* Yyyyyeah.... But how will you find him?

Vorpal: Elementary, my dear Golem, elementary.......

*everyone just stands around*

Golem: Yes?

Vorpal: What?

Tyler: Gentlemen I don't mean to use words in a certain order like this (it's just a habit really) but I'm afraid we're doomed beyond saving.

Fred: I dare you to elaborate if you think you can handle it.

Tyler: I'll let Tyler take it from here- -thanks. As I was saying there's two bombs which sounds like a lot of bombs but we got rid of one, so in reality we have ONE BOMB.

Golem: I'm not found, does this mean exactly that you are implying such a-

Vorpal: Silence! (Golem: TALK TALK TALK) ...Using my detective prowess in deducing clues and finding lost pieces of the past otherwise invisible to the naked eye without some sort of magic magnifying glass, I shall discover the deceitful lies behind these words! Or as I call them, Vords. I just so happen to be the master of Vorpd play.

Tyler: I'm not not telling the truth- drop dead or at least get on a death bed and realize that you have a shred of sympathy for an apparently fat man who is about to die from an explosion! Except put that feeling in a bottle and send it back to your past self so you can give it to you now so I stop FEELING BAD YOU JERK. Okay I'm a bit dizzy now.

Fred: Stop! Can't you see that all this talking is making the bomb ANGRY?!?!

Vorpal: The strap is a bomb! Intruiging! Vorpruiging!

Fred: Does this mean the man I once knew as a man is actually a bomb man? I've played Mega Man, I know who Bomb man is. The REAL bomb man. Where's your proof I will never accept this as the truth I know the ways of power!!

Vorpal: Golem: No allow me! That bomb strap ingeniously (Vorpal: Vorpeniously!!) planted on the defendant some posts ago was actually the bomb from the future telling us that the strap was in fact a bomb placed on a strap to disguise itself as Da bomb. Yes, the person Da Bomb.

Da Bomb: *Jumps out of the bushes* You've foiled my plans to screw up the plot in this dimension, Golem, but I'll always have a chance to take you down in the next! But for now we fight!!! *Motions for Golem to come closer with his hand and they fight in the background while everyone else continues talking and not even noticing.)

Tyler: So I still have the strap from the first bomb on me.

Vorpal: And that's a bomb? Case-

Tyler: Yeah.

Vorpal: Solved!

Fred: So can I eat that one like spaghetti or spaghettis or.

Vorpal: If my hunch is correct (which it is) Let's go.

Tyler: We're missing Golem. I mean I miss him...he was *sniff* my friend.

Golem: The world is safe to be unsafe another day.

Tyler: I love opening the void for a greater evil every time a lesser one is defeated.

Fred: It's like we're the real villains.

Golem: Real...villains? Yes! Yes that's it! To get your computer back we'll have to make everyone else go through OUR traps to make them make us go through THEIR traps in their own evil lairs!

Tyler: I think I'm lost.

Fred: No, you're BOMB. Sheesh, I aught to pop you one in the cerebral cortex for such blasphemy.

Golem: Let them bring the laptop to US.

Tyler: We're already in the US.

Fred: WHAT WHY? I've been using my flavoured accent this whole time in the WRONG COUNTRY?! Eh.

Golem: Fred we're at Mount RUSHMORE. I think that's a good hint as to where we are.

Fred: But it's so close to Mother Canada I just lost my bearings is that OKAY WITH YOU GOLEM? Do you seriously want to pick a fight with a confused Canadian on the top of Mount Rushmore...?

Fred: When did we get to the top-

Tyler: Hey! Hey! Right there! You spoke twice!

Fred: Did not.

Vorpal: I've carried you all to the lair located on the top of Mount Rushmore with my amazing Vorp strength.

Golem: I thought for a second you were gonna put 'Vorp' and 'Strength' together.

Vorpal: Vorposterous! Why would I do that?!

Director: What the. How did you seduce my traps into granting you rite of passage!? You used the forbidden style, I knew it!

Golem: ~Tee Hee~

Tyler: Gimmie back my laptop, It ain't done no wrong!

Director: No.

Tyler: *!!! (*Fill in words there, and they better be good.)

Director: 1.) That's inconstitutional. 2.) These are not international waters. We're nowhere near an ocean. 3.) I can't do that with underpants. 4.) Carpal tunnel syndrome is already popular enough. 5.) The Plutonium Boss does make nuclear waste. 7.) Wahahaha 8.) hahaha!

Golem: But you're forgetting about THIS!!:


Tyler: Where did you get that?!

Director: Alright, fine. But if you want your precious laptop back, I'LL HAVE TO GO THROUGH YOUR DEADLY MAZE!

Tyler: First it's Mount Rushmore. Then it's deadly maze. Where does it end?

Retro Belmont: Luckily, guys, I have an old Mega Man stage set up for times like this.

Gamechamp: Thanks, Retro!

Timnis: Don't mention it.

~Director zaps off of Mount Rushmore and is teleported into the Mega Man stage.~

Director: Let's see if I have anything good...

~He checks the pause menu.~

Director: Ah, crap. Just the Nintendofreak Coil.

Director: Well, let's get to it MA(i)ZE LEVEL START.

~Zombie attack!~

Director: I don't think there are zombies in Mega Man.

Tyler (version WRITER.0): Well I couldn't possibly know that, now could I? I've only played Mega Man Legends and-BACK TO STORY NOW!

Director: Can I at least have a gun, since you don't even know what a Nintendofreak Coil is, or what it is in reference to?

Tyler (WRITER MAN): Sure sure. Just stop talking to me. Fourth walls are the worst walls.

Director: But what about the Oval Office? It just has ONE WALL ALL THE TIME 24/7.

Tyler (WRITE-A-ROONI): How is that even relevant? Just use the gun, oKAY?

Director: Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~bitten by the zombie~

~SHARK ATTACK!~

Director: But I just said (or somebody did. I'm not reading that again NO WAY) that we were nowhere near water. Where did the shark come from? Also, I should be saying something to indicate the immense pain I'm feeling now.

Tyler (WriteWriteWriteWrite): Too wordy.

Director: Hey, I'M the one with the name "Director", and I just so happen to know Quentin Tarantino! Don't make me CALL HIM AND HIS CHERRY COUGH SYRUP. That's right, I just pleased maybe TWO other people by saying that. THEY know why. Do YOU?

Fred: Get N or Get OUT.

Vorpal: EA Sports. IT'S IN THE GAME.

Retro Belmont: Normal writing ALL CAPS.

Golem: Lines and lines of dialog.

Tyler: I'm not the one who had a conversation with Director!

Charles Barkley: And I'm Charles Barkley.

Director: Can someone pay for some medical attention for me. I'm hurt pretty bad and that shark just stole my money and he's going to Vegas to play cards. He's a card shark, you know.

Golem: What a card!

Everyone: Ah, ha ha!

Vorpal:...Vard...

Tyler: This stage is too hard, Golem! These platforms keep collapsing!

Golem: As is the natural order of things... in farming. Since farming is natural, and it's not chaotic.

Fred: GOLD FARMING MAYBE AND MAYBE YOU PLANT GOLD PLANTS FOR YOURSELF SO THE CHINESE CAN'T HAVE ANY CAN'T SELL THE GOLD FOR MONEY AND FEED THEIR CHING CHONG CHINAMEN POD-CHILDREN

Golem: Whoa, Fred-a-roonie! That certainly came from nowhere! You racist spic.

Fred: I admit it! It came from nowhere, just like this! (Fred's hands suddenly start spinning, and he quickly reveals himself as terrorizing cyborg: Fredzingah Z! Fred comes walking up to the group from another direction)

Fred: Oh that explains that

Tyler: I knew you were talking twice! Two-timer!

Fred: Well, not anymore

Fred: Not anymore.

Director: That's right! I had a trump card up my sleeve the entire time! Now, it's three on two! The numbers are in my favour!

Golem: He's right! What would the doctor do in this situation?

Director: Nothing! You cannot stop the amazing frozen-powered Fredzingah F! I mean Q! I made this movie!

Golem: Movie? Tyler, you know about movies, you're up to bat!

Tyler: Way to allocate human resources. Why are you the leader again?

Golem:I... have a scarf?

Tyler: Right. That's no robot, it's just a suit and we're all tiny models.

Golem: I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that.

Tyler: Okay, then it's a robot. Man, you're hard to please, you know that?

Director: I can wait guys. I am an expert at waiting.

Fred: Are you an expert at holding your breath?

Director: There's only one way to find out!

Golem: But if he's a robot, doesn't that mean that any one of us could turn out to be a robot at anytime? What if I'm next! Director, if I'm the next robot, change me now! Get it ov-

(Director holds up his index finger angrily as he turns blue in the face, pointing at his shaking cheeks.)

Tyler: He'll do it when he's good and ready, Golem.

Golem: So, then it's true!

Tyler: No-actually, yeah, his response indicates that. Yeah, you're a killer robot, Golem.

Golem: But Rhyk is the robot!

Tyler: There, there.

Fred: YOU'VE GOT TH' HEART OF A CHAMPION AND THE LUNG CAPACITY OF A BLUE WHALE

(Director passes out, and Fredzingah Z collapses under the weight of its own legs due to design impracticality)

Vorpal: Vorpal

Tyler: I do believe he was asking us a question.

Vorpal: What? No I-

Fred: Then I'm afraid we're just going to have to answer him then, won't we? Yes. We shall answer him...

Tyler & Fred: With pain.

Vorpal: Wait no don't don't don't n-

~Vorpal, Fred and Tyler have no choice now but to fight for 100 years I mean seconds while Golem stands there, in style.~

Golem: Carnival style, that is.

Retro: Hey, stop using my phrases! I coined that in Nam'! I also coined the term 'Nam'!

Golem: We shall fight for the right of copy, that is, copyrights! Face me if you think you can bring the pain!

Retro: Violence isn't the answer, but it's always fun to use it to question.

Golem: I concur.

Retro: Battle of wits then!

Golem: Have at you!

~Golem and Retro snap back at each other with carefully timed 'your mama' jokes, followed by head butting like rams.~

Golem: Your wit is a hard one, I admit!

Retro: I admit I was HOLDING BACK HAAAAAAH!

~They fly at each other once more and both get knocked out. 100 seconds pass.~

Vorpal: I give! Mercy! Uncle!

Tyler: I say.

Fred: That was pointless, now what are we gonna do?

Director: SWAHAHAHA. It would seem I needed a mere 100 seconds to get my second wind. THE BEST KIND OF WIND. I shall now use it to knock you all down!

~Director inhales and exhales a mighty gust of wind sending all of the quarreling members of the party into the wall I guess, but the wall starts to have spikes and stuff coming out from inside it to no doubt kill them.~

Tyler: What a powerful pair of lungs, my word.

Fred: We'll have to reverse the hurricane factor in our favor this time, therefore making spikes come out of his face instead of into our bodies. This shouldn't be too hard, all I gotta do is- *disappears into thin air leaving no trace*

Tyler: I find your magic amazing.

Retro: *Wakes up next to Tyler* Why are my ears bleeding and why is there wind in my face?! Doctor says I can't get wind in my hair or else it'll go all over the place!!!

Golem: Why are we stuck to a wall?

Tyler: Because Director apparently broke wind or something.

Vorpal: Ouch...my Vorpancreas... you jerks! Why did you attack me?!

Tyler: Isn't it obvious?

Director: I'm talking to you guys telepathically since if my lips move my mouth will stop and therefore the wind will stop and ergo therefore you will stop being on the wall then come over here and kill me.

Tyler: My goodness, what a mouth full-

Fred: It's a lie he's using mirrors! *Reappears as a dragon thing and spews flames all over the room, revealing mirrors and wires and a small booth in the corner with a two way mirror.*

Director: *Steps out of the booth in a lordly robe* How did you escape my illusions?!?!!?

Fred: *Long winded explanation of the cold hard facts.*

Director: So all this time the lung capacity of the blue whale...

Tyler: Correct! It lead to your downfall. Oh and the repercussions of what you did to the space-time-internet continuum will present themselves shortly.

Director: What are you- *Dies when spikes shoot out of his face and then gets blow away by a tornado.*

Retro:

Tyler: Your speechlessness is quite welcome.

Fred: Now I do believe that Director had your laptop.

Golem: So where is it?!

Director's ONE TIME APPEARANCE Ghost: The card shark took it.

Golem: Oh.

~Elsewhere, at the Golem's Internet HQ...~

Director's Ghost: ...and then I said my ghost was only going to appear once!

Guy in Charge (Gic): They defeeeated Moondo, Rival, and Rhyk, eh? LET'S see HOW they LIKE my SECOND wave OF agents!

~Back with the others...~

Golem: Alright, everyone present say "Aye."

Tyler: Aye for an aye tooth for a--

Retro: Aye.

Vorpal: Vorpaye.

Fred: HEEEEAAAALP!!!

Vorpal: Vorpal here, to the rescue! What's your pro--

AGENTS ARE GO!

~Three people, all in nice black suits, land before our fine upstanding young men. SPEAKING OF, WHERE ARE THE WOMEN? AND MRS. LADYPERSON DOES NOT COUNT AS A WOMAN. She's too creepy.~

Agent 1 (Mr. Ladyperson): I was tired of my lady
We'd been together too long
Like a worn-out recording
Of a favorite song
So while she lay there sleeping
I read the paper in bed
And in the personal columns
There was this letter I read

Agent 2 (Cezzendre, who is IF YOU CAN'T TELL BY THE RIDICULOUS NAME a woman): "If you like Pina Coladas
And getting caught in the rain
If you're not into yoga
If you have half a brain
If you'd like making love at midnight
In the dunes on the Cape
Then I'm the love that you've looked for
Write to me and escape."

Golem: This is what I hear: Cezzendre is the Anti-Space version of my sister! Cezzendre can predict the future! Cezzendres can be found on Route 2, Route 4, and Route 16.

Retro: I'm sorry, but what does this song have to do with our current situation?

Agent 3 (the number 3): I didn't think about my lady
I know that sounds kind of mean
But me and my old lady
Have fallen into the same old dull routine
So I wrote to the paper
Took out a personal ad
And though I'm nobody's poet
I thought it wasn't half bad!!!!!!

~The agents strike a pose, a pose which Mr. Ladyperson uses to pull a lever. The floor underneath . . . our heroes(?) gives out and they fall. And fall. And fall into a prison cell.~

Tyler: Ha, they led us right to the Card Shark!

~Everyone glares at Tyler. Except Fred, who is too busy gnawing the bars. Once he eats through them, he feels strange...~

Fred: Something odd happens every time I eat prison cell bars... I become... FREUD!

~But back to the REAL ACTION.~

Gic: Go fish.