Retro: C'mon Kirbs, let's wrap up this battle.
KoD: Yeah alright.
Drake: You really wanna finish this do you? Well, al-right. Come get me kids.
Retro: In the absent words of Director, or should I say, *Ahem* "Fontane", let's finish this...Carnival Style.
~KoD swings his scythe and cuts a portal in space/time and then teleports with Retro. Both of them appear behind Drake, who turns around to face them. KoD releases Retro and he punches Drake square in the middle of his face, but doesn't take his fist away and sends Drake flying back.~
Drake: Graaaaaagh! Ow! *Gets to his feet while rubbing his face* You're...strong, kid. But that's alright, try this, I'll break your face right back!
~Drake runs up and pistol-whips Retro slowly and weakly. Retro immediately returns with a super-nova-awesome pixel blast and obliterates Drake with no effort whatsoever.~
Retro: Okay, now what?
KoD: Think Nintendofreak will be able to handle that guy on his own?
Retro: Wasn't your future self just here a second ago?
KoD: You answered my question with another question, how nice. Oh, wait, yeah, where is my future self?
Future KoD/FKoD/FOKD: Hiya. I went to the bathroom, just got a bit lost..heh.
~Several bullets, which all miss the group, puncture the walls above their heads. Jarod stumbles over some wooden crates and stands back up with his heavy gattling gun still equipped over his shoulder.~
Jarod: It took me quite some time to wobble over here with this monstrosity attached to me, but now I'm ready to shoot some new air holes into your heads!
Retro: Again with this? This is getting less and less amusing as time goes..
KoD: Why are there five?! Why, God, why!
~Suddenly..a Divine Intervention! I mean, Divine Interruption.~
Jesus: You heretics have already forgotten about me? What does a guy have to do to keep his part in an OG 'round here?
~Jesus snaps his fingers and Jarod's skin turns inside out. He falls to his knees, grabbing his face and screaming in agony.~
KoD: Praise Jesus?
Jesus: It's nice we got time to spend time to hang out in this life, 'cause I know we won't in the after life. Ha-HA! (Disappears)
~Everyone laughs sitcom style, while Jarod screams out at the top of his lungs while he bleeds to death on the floor.~
Nintendofreak: Are you guys done yet? We've got to go!
Retro: Go where?
~The lights go out, and atop some platform, Captain Drake Blackheart leaps out accompanied by a nice smoke effect.~
Drake: Straight to Hell!
Drake: I don't tolerate any extra passengers on my ship once they've outstayed their welcome. But since I can't beat you guys, I suppose I'll just have to detonate this ship..
Retro: Whaaaat? Copout!
Drake: Ahahahaha! So long, everybody-
~Drake falls forward unconscious. Fera stands behind him holding a metal fish with an annoyed look on her face.~
Fera: Humph. Copout.
Retro: *Sighs* Exactly!
Fera: Just because I haven't done a whole lot doesn't mean I can't be useful. *Smiles*
KoD: Can we just take control of this ship already?
Nintendofreak: Totally, and I think it's high time we pay Clyde and Kane a little visit..
Retro: Look at you, Mr. Serious Emo.
Nintendofreak: ~Cut cut cut~ What? I'm cutting my...hair?
CEO: Gentlemen, I'm afraid the world is lost. A being known as "AHHH HELP ME, HELP ME CRZZZT- Transmission Ended" is rampaging across the world, infecting all citizens with some crazy stuff that turns them into zombies.
Guy on the right: How do we combat such a threat?
CEO: We don't. We're already zombies you, see.
Guy: Oh no! I just remembered I left my wife in the middle of a football field guarding my precious brain collection!
CEO: I'm afraid your wife is gone, Charlie.
Guy/Charlie: Noooo! Hm, those brains are sounding pretty good now, though.
CEO: Indeed! Which is why I've scheduled a field trip to that football field. Come on guys, the bus awaits!
CEO: Hopefully the boys away from home will finish this war and at least carry on our legacy in space.
~Just outside earth, in a PDG flagship.~
PDG Soldier: Caimen here, no problems. Er I mean do you copy? Emergency maneuvers!!
~A large beam shoots across the plane of space and obliterates the PDG flagship. Legion warships line up and start their first assault on one of the PDG space stations.~
Commander Kane: I've waited too long for this.. ah, how good it feels to be on the field of battle again. Alright, everyone, listen up. We're about to storm the PDG's main space station which orbits the Earth. Make sure you leave none alive, you're fighting for Legion!
Soldiers: Hoorah! For Legion! For Clyde!
Amy: How'd you guys escape!? You're not taking control of this ship!
Retro: I'll let Fera take this one.
~Visually stunning cat fight takes place.~
KoD: Okay, now to turn this puppy around.
~The Darkheart II drifts in space for a few moments before the boosters kick on. Nintendofreak pilots the ship, and spots Legion's insignia on a battered up warship...as well as a huge battle going on right behind it.~
Nintendofreak: Bringing it up on the monitor..
Retro: The PDG is being attacked? I didn't know that they were fighting anyone.
KoD/FKoD: Wait, what's going on?
Fera: *Leaps to her feet after defeating Amy* Our first space battle, yay!
Last edited by RetroJape on 13 Jan 2009 04:11, edited 3 times in total.