Golem: *climbs out* I'm back and I brought Quezasomething, he holds the universe together! *holds up rubberband*

Quez: *does nothing spectacular*

Thrakun: Ye hit your head a wee bit hard, aye?

Golem: No really, he talked and everything! Aw shoe.

Samus: It isn't safe to stay here.

GM: Why?

Samus: The Space Pirates have... hired some bounty hunters to take me out.

HH: Ooh, bounty hunters! I considered going into that, but the Hero business had better fringe benefits.

Marin: Exile, for instance?

HH: Nobody asked you.

Keira: I want to go home!

Samus: Well... what planet are you from?

Keira: Pl-planet!? I come from Angel Land.

Samus: Never heard of it.

Mario: Wait... you wouldn't happen to be from another 'dimension' or something?

Golem: Kinda.

Podley: *floats away from the fire* I say, it's my dear old mum!

Samus: Huh?

Podley: It's been a while, mum. There's so much to tell you!

Samus: Um. We'll be leaving now.

MJ: What about us!? I've got two icicles hanging off my nostrils!

Samus: The ship only carries two. Sorry. *Mario and Samus go back to the ship and leave before the group can launch a huge protest*

Marin: I don't think I like my parents much.

Podley: Quite.

Keira: I can't move my wings!

Thrakun: I dinnae know what ye are complaining for, I like it.

Podley: I say, old beans. I think I might pass out again, wot.

Golem: Wait! Of course, Quez! I bet he could make something.

Marin: Please don't Golem, you're clearly delusional.

Golem: No really, watch. *starts wrapping Quez-rubber band up into various shapes and keeps doing it until somehow it resembles a Greyhound Bus, only with propulsion jets instead of wheels*

GM: Well, that one got me.

Marin: It better have a good heating system!

~they all pile in, for some reason Thrakun claims the driver's seat since he's the oldest~

Golem: Do you even know how to drive.

Thrakun: *without looking back* Ye best get off the window, lad.

HH: *gets fingers off window and quickly erases "Link was here" off the window* Eheh.

GM: Wow, he is good.

Keiren: These seats keep hurting my wings.

Podley: I say, I can't find a seat.

MJ: I get the back seat!

GM: Hey, stop shoving Link.

HH: This was my seat first.

Marin: Stop breathing on me, Podley!

Podley: I don't breathe!

Keiren: It's too cold in here!

Golem: Hey, there's a quarter on the floor.

MJ: I'm hungry, when are we going to eat.

GM: Are we there yet?

Thrakun: QUIET! I swear, if any of ye say one more word, I'll slice out your tongues.

~everyone quickly sits up, puts their hands in front of them, and quiets down~

Thrakun: *pulls a lever that makes the bus rise* They better have Haggis in this century.

Thrakun: Arrrgh... this thing be too slow for mae tastes.

Marin: Would it help if I got out and pushed?

Golem: Wait guys! I've just had an awesome idea!

~Golem takes Quez and turns him back into a rubber band. Everyone dies in the vacuum of space. Except that Mario, Luigi, and B102 proved that you can't. So they're fine. Anyway, Golem takes Quez and wraps him around the rubber band pen that everyone ignored because this story needs TASTS, or does it?~

Golem: ~holds up rubber band-covered pen~ Behold TASTS!

Podley: I say...

GM: Golem. We were never in Party Goers.

Golem: Oh, right. ~clicks pen and turns it into a newsstand, which they all climb inside except for Thrakun~ TASTS stands for Time and Space Travel System. I think. It's been so long...

Thrakun: It be lookin' like a giant fridge teh mae eyes. I hate it.

Keira: Just get in so we can get somewhere warm.

Thrakun: No.

Podley: I say, don't pretend it's a fridge, old bean. Pretend it's a newsstand.

Thrakun: No.

HH: Are you saying that a dwarf is afraid to go where an elf will?

Thrakun: NO! ~jumps in as the door slams shut and locks~ Mutton...

Golem: What planet was B102 on?

HH: Who is B102 anyway?

Golem: Come to think of it, I never technically met him in this OG except for those few seconds before GM kicked him into the warp pipe. So let's just say I read his profile on a message board a long time ago. He's not the space conquering type.

Podley: With no Zebes, there's no telling where those bloody Space Pirates have settled.

Keira: Let's go here. ~points at computer screen~

Golem: Wait!

~The TASTS appears on the planet in question before Golem can react, spits them all out, and promptly turns back into a pen.~

Golem: The controls are sensitive.

~The planet is barren and rocky, the rocks bearing a slightly blue hue. Golem picks up TASTS, which coughs up a note that says "Cylosis" and shuts off again.~

Thrakun: ~gazes around for miles~

Keira: Huh. The computer said that it was inhabited.

~The gang looks around for a bit, before being set upon by a bounty hunter in an odd blue-and-yellow suit.~

Podley: I say! That's the fellow wot bugs me mum quite! ~flies at Sylux, but is frozen by a stolen ice missile~

Sylux: Federation scum! ~whips out Shock Coil and shoots MJ with it, attaching three blue electric lines to him and sucking his energy~

MJ: Hey hey hey! Why me?!

HH: ~shoots Sylux, which doesn't break his weapon's hold~

Keira: Marin, you should do something.

Marin: ~yawns~ Does that count?

Keira: ~shrugs and drops a rock on Sylux~

Sylux: ARGH! A significant blow! ~tries to run but is tackled by Thrakun~

Thrakun: MACHINE! ~pounds him~

~Sylux turns into his alternate form and drops three bombs around Thrakun quickly, which is an instant kill in Hunters except that Thrakun is a dwarf and is only severly scorched. Sylux turns back around and drops more bombs, which everyone scrambles to keep from being surrounded in. Keira drops another rock on him, which makes him revert to his regular form. He starts shooting MJ again.~

MJ: I think he likes me.

GM: It's obviously a girl. Like Samus.

MJ: Darn.

~Keira drops another rock on Sylux, which turns him back into his Lockjaw form. Then another rock. Then another. Then another. Eventually Sylux calls his ship over, which starts taking pot shots at Keira, who flies around them. Golem runs at Sylux, then realizes that he's useless and runs back behind HH and GM, who are shooting at Sylux from behind a rock. Marin stands out in the open and picks her fingernails, since Sylux is only shooting MJ anyway. Thrakun wakes up and charges at Sylux, punching his helmet off (no I don't know how he reached so high) to reveal... Luigi!~

MJ: He is a man! Yays!

Luigi: Mamma mia! You're not Federation scum!

Golem: But why isn't Luigi working with Mario and Samus?

Luigi: She stole my brother from me! She and her entire government! I will make them all pay! ~puts helmet back on~ And you're going to help me. ~points Shock Coil at MJ again~ Unless you want to lose your pet pig there.

MJ: He gave me a pet name!

HH: We're busy looking for this B102 guy, though.

Luigi: The Space Pirate guy? Where do you think Samus and my brother are going?

All: Ohhhhhh.

Thrakun: I woon't work with a maechine!

GM: You won't work with anybody, though.

Thrakun: Shut yeh bloody pie hole.

~Luigi receives a huge atomic blast to the back and falls over. Space Harrier, in a red leather jacket and blue jeans, wearing his sunglasses and carrying his bazooka-sized atomic blaster, runs up to Luigi and holds him to the ground using the weight of his blaster.~

Golem: SPACE HARRIER?! SKLSDKLDS--~slapped by GM~

GM: Calm down.

Space Harrier: You're leading me to your brother.

Luigi: ...Why?!

Space Harrier: B102 is on my checklist too. Your brother will lead me to him.

Luigi: I'm busy here.

Space Harrier: And I'm the one with the atomic blaster.
Come on, I've got the Cosmic Gate parked not far from here, I'll need you for the whole trip. I'll drop you back here when we're done, so the better you cooperate, the faster you get home.

MJ: Okay! Everyone calm the frak down! Nobody is doing anything till I get my answers from this guy over here.

SH: What gives you the right to order anyone around? You're just a mindless oaf.

MJ: I may be a mindless oaf but I got enough muscles to take you down.
*picks up Space Harrier instead of Double H and hurls him into a boulder twenty feet away.*

MJ: Oops! I didn't mean to throw you that hard.... You alright buddy?

HH: Ow! I'm fine...

MJ: Hey Luigi. You know what happened to my mother?

Luigi: How should I know who your mom is, bacon breath?

MJ: You don't know Princess Peach? Fair ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom?

Luigi: The Mushroom Kingdom? That place was dullsville when my brother and I first stumbled upon that world. All there was was shy turtle people everywhere and some King Bowser angsting about his lost girlfriend. So we found another warp pipe and ended up here. That was about ten years ago and we haven't been back since.

MJ: Uh-huh. Thanks man. *sits back down*

Marin: Don't worry bro. We'll reunite our parents soon. I'm so not going to end up related to that... thing over there.

Podley: *still frozen*

Space Harrier: Now if you will please... ~leads Luigi toward the Cosmic Gate~

GM: Hey hey hey! What about us?

Space Harrier: You're excess baggage. Actually... ~points at HH~ I like your style. You come too. The rest of you just stay here and enjoy the... um... scenery.

HH: ~grins~ Tough break, guys.

All:

~Space Harrier, Luigi, and HH fly away.~

Keira: Can't we use that pen thing to follow them?

Golem: Um... knew I shouldn't have gotten this thing in the bargain bin.

Quez: Gooooooolllllllleeeeeemmmm!

Golem: ~looks at pen~ Oh, yes, what?

All: ~stare at Golem~

Quez: Why hast thou forsaken me?

Golem: Um, well. Kinda hard to do anything about your problem when we're stranded on a planet, y'know?

Quez: Couldn't you just turn me into a Greyhound bus again?

Golem: What? PRETTY SNEAKY, QUEZ!

Quez: Uh...

Golem: You just want me to take you off TASTS so it doesn't work anymore!

Quez: It doesn't work now as is.

Golem: Oh, sure, always blame someone else for your shortcomings!

Quez: What shortcomings?!

Golem: YOU KNOW WHAT SHORTCOMINGS!

Quez: . . .

Marin: Hey, uh, Golem?

Thrakun: SHH! Don't alaert the booy! Let's all jus' be backin' away slowly, eh?

Golem: What's wrong, guys?

All:

(The gang backs away from Golem whilre he continues to argue with the rubberband.)

Marin: Wait? Where's my brother?

Thrakun: Aye, he be trapped another time loop?

Marin: I doubt it. Unless something else happened to my mom.

Thrakun: Bah! There's othing worse than being born a woman. Unless you be me sweetheart Medusa...

(On Space harrier's ship, the toliet flushes.)

SH: Um, if we're all in the cockpit, who's in the john?

Luigi: Gawd! What is that smell!?

MJ: *bursts out waving his hand* Whoo! ....Um, hey guys. Did you know you're out of toilet paper?

SH: You! How did you get on board?

MJ: I've been having to take a wicked dump ever since Angel Land. I figured you'd have a toilet on board so I snuck aboard. I didn't think you'd take off so soon.

SH: Well you're taking up too much space and I barely have enough supplies for three people as it is. I'm gonna have to kick you out.

HH: Will he even fit through the airlock?

SH: If he was able to get in, he can get out.

MJ: You're not kicking me off here! I'll die out there!

SH: Not my problem.

MJ: AAAAAGH! *pounches Double H*

HH: Hey!

MJ: Oh. Sorry buddy. You two just look so much alike...

HH: Geezus, MJ! You're really testing our friendship...

Luigi: Can I just shot him and get it over with?

SH: Yes! Please!

MJ: No, uncle Luigi!

Luigi: Uncle! I don't have a newphew! ...Least not to a pig. *holds up canon*

MJ: No, I can prove I'm related to you! *tears off sleeve and reveals his shoulder*

Luigi: A nasty pimple... Why rae you showing me this?

MJ: Goddamit... I forgot. Mario's not my dad anymore...

Luigi: *shoots MJ*

SH: Okay... now help me drag him out the airlock.

HH: He's too heavy for the three of us.

Luigi: Maybe I should've thought this better through.

~Back on Cylosis~

(The StarSword appears at Marin feet)

Marin: *gasp* NOOOOO!!!

Keira: What are you crying about now?

Marin: It's my borther's sword.

Keira: So!?

Marin: It just appeared just now. When the sword's master dies or is incapcitated it goes in search of a new master. Now it's chosen one of us.

Thrakun: One of us, aye? *tries to pull the sword out the stone but to no avail* It was an ugly sword anyways...

Keira: Let's just leave it.

Marin: We can't! If we do we'll have no way of reving my brother.

Golem: Guys! Guys! I think I know a way we can-- *trips and falls down the hill, grabbing the sword's hilt as leverage but loses his grip and keeps falling anyways.*

Marin: Well that was pointless.

~Podley grabs the sword with relative ease... somehow~

Marin: No way!

Podley: Wot wot, I'm the Once and Future King.

GM: Well he is Mario's step-son.

Golem: I have a feeling that with MJ gone, he's been written out of the OG...

*dramatically*

Golem: ... FOREVER!!!

Marin: That's not true!

Keira: Not to disturb this lovely banter, but... *points up* what's that?

Thrakun: IT BE RAGNAROK!

~up above a huge giant space frigate has blocked out the entire sky. No it's not Independance Day~

~the ship continues to lower down, finally a small space vessel emerges from a hangar on the frigate and lands in front of them. Suddenly a bunch of Space Pirates run out and surround them~

GM: I think... it's time for a catchy action tune.

~Catchy Action Tune (pick what you like, techno is suggested)~

~Golem quickly casts Jump and leaps over the group of Space Pirates. Thrakun brandishes his axe, roars out a mighty laugh, and starts chopping their legs off. Keira flies above the battlefield and starts shooting three arrows at a time. Golem joins in with his own bow and arrows and fires a single arrow with every single jump. Marin users her mallet to send back a energy blast somehow. No, it doesn't make sense. Shut up. Podley takes the Starsword and starts vanquishing Pirates with extreme prejudice. GM rips off his shirt and stares straight up in the sky as the Moon happens to come out. He then turns into a Were-Fairy and starts biting the heck out of the Pirates~

Thrakun: DIE SCUM! *ducks underneath an attack for a pirate, then slices it in two. He then swings his axe out in a wide arc and lets if fly, as it continues spiralling and hitting space pirates. He then lowers his head and charges forward while yelling obsceneties and knocking Space Pirates over and finally catches up with the axe, which he pulls out of a Space Pirate corpse*

Podley: *floats at head level with the Space Pirates and engages them in combat. Their arm-scythes are no match for his swordscmanship... somehow. He begins facing one on one with a huge Elite Pirate. He pulls out his cane and sword and holds them defensively* You cannot pass!

Elite Pirate: AARRRGH! *lunges at Podley, who quickly sidesteps him and starts sucking on the pirate's head until it's drained of energy and collapses*

Podley: A vile taste!

Keira: Take that, demon! *fires an arrow into the jet pack of another Aerotrooper, sending it spiralling out of control into another Aerotrooper. While she aims at another ground Pirate, she gets clipped by the laser of another Aerotrooper*

Golem: *is meanwhile fighting a bunch of Space Pirates, but several of them jump on top of him and tackle him down to the ground. Although down for the moment, he hears Keira get hit and quickly jumps as mightily as possible and while the Space Pirates all fall off in neato slow motion, camera rotating action, he catches Keira, lands on a pirate, and jumps off it again as he rushes her to safety*

GM: BITEBITEBITE! *just sorta bites a bunch of pirates and spreads the Bird Flu or something*

Marin: *since she can't use the spinning hammer thing since Thrakun already did that, she continues conking Pirates on the head in something that is quite similar to Wack a Mole*

????: STOP THIS AT ONCE!

~everyone turns to look at the speaker, who is in fact, B102, with Ridley right behind him. They all gasp in shock, for no real reason at all~

Marin: (Podley, keep a good grip on that sword...)

~B102 descends on a floating metallic disc towards the Fanvers. His costume now resembles Giga Bowser.~

B102: Golem, I can't attack a friend. Join me in my plundering of the galaxy!

Golem: ...What?

B102: Remember when we would plunder ezBoards?

Golem: N--er--ye--er--I'm no good at plundering!

B102: Then get out of my way.

Golem: But plundering is what bad guys do!

B102: ...!

~Elsewhere, behind the army of Space Pirates...~

Mario: ~whispering~ So the plan is, I'll distract the space pirates until you can snipe B102. That'll draw the Space Pirates to you, and I can pick up the ship and fly it to you before you get mauled to death.

Samus: Yes.

Space Harrier: GET READY!!!!11 ~flies forward from behind Mario and Samus, kicking Mario in the head as he does so~

Samus: WHAT THE--

Space Harrier: I have to say that before flying! It's tradition!

~Samus tries to escape in a morph ball, but Luigi runs in and picks her up while she's in morph ball form and then tosses her into the middle of the mob of space pirates. Mario picks up Luigi by the feet and throws him SSB style into the middle of the mob as well. Hyrule Harrier blasts Mario in the back and joins the fray.

While HH stays on the fringes, trying to escape being surrounded by pirates while fighting them, those coming towards him are shot down by Space Harrier. Luigi makes a desperate stand in the middle of the Space Pirates before jumping up and grabbing onto Space Harrier's legs~

Space Harrier: GAH, why are you here?!

~while Samus rolls away in a morph ball.~

B102: I can shoot down Harrier from the frigate... ~floats back up to the frigate~

Golem: ~takes out his rubber band-covered pen~ Come on, we can undo B102's madness if we can just find him before he went mad! ~clicks pen, nothing happens~ Oh man, we're going to need some power!

Keira: That reptile probably has some power up in his space ship!

Marin: Even if we can make it up there and access a power supply long enough to use the TASTS, how would we know WHEN and WHERE to go?

Golem: Well... we'll just have to keep using TASTS and keep finding power supplies until we find the right time and place! Plus, if we stop B102, maybe we can shut down the Space Pirates altogether!

Thrakun: ~fending off pirates~ Ye lads gonna join or what?

OOC: Note that no one knows that was B102 back in the Mushroom Kingdom in Vol. 1.

~Golem runs parallel to the frigate in an extremely dramatic way. I mean, flashing lines, close-up shots, maybe a few explosions in the backdrop.~

Golem: KEEEEEEEIIIIIIIRRRRRRRAAAAAA!

Keira: ~sitting away from the battle~ My wings got clipped! It'll take time to heal! Seriously...

Golem: Um. PODLEY!

Podley: Wot's that, old bean? ~impales six Space Pirates with one strike~ A bit occupied, you see.

Golem: GUYS! How am I supposed to fly up there if-- ~falls into a bottomless pit~ Oh noes! ~angel wings pop up on his back~ Huh? Oh, right...



Golem: ~soars straight at the frigate and grabs a latch on the side just as his wings disappear again~ Okay...

~Golem finds another latch and swings himself to it, making his way up to the ever conveniently placed electric outlet on the outside of the ship. He pulls the TASTS's clicker off, revealing an electric plug. He plugs it in, plugs it in.~

Quez: Golem, wait!

Golem: You're not real!

Quez: I'm very real! And if you leave this galaxy without putting me in place, it'll collapse! EVERY galaxy will collapse! You can't do this!

Golem: I don't believe you! You're imaginary! And I have to save B102!

Quez: I WON'T LET YOU!

~Quez lashes off of the pen and wraps himself around Golem's head, then the rest of his body. Now bound, Golem finds it quite impossible to keep holding those latches and slides down the side of the frigate, held in place only by Quez. Quez, meanwhile, is only held in place by the plug.~

~Inside the frigate~

B102: ~aims cannons on Space Harrier~ Take the shot!

Space Pirate: We can't, High Commander! Something is draining the weapons system's power!

B102: Locate!

Space Pirate: It's on the hull.

B102: Ridley!

Ridley: I'm on it.

~Ridley bursts through a hatch and out of the frigate, then starts looking for Golem.~

Keira: Golem's in trouble!

Marin: What is that thing?!

GM: ~doesn't tell them because he's still a were-fairy~

Podley: I say! It's Ridley! He'll tear the old boy to pieces!

Thrakun: ~cuts off a Space Pirate's legs, then headbutts it so hard he kills it~ HUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!

Marin: That wasn't disturbing at all! ~slams her mallet into a Space Pirate's gut, sending him flying into the group near the Harriers and co.~

Thrakun: We have tae end this n' save the lad!

Podley: Easier said than done, dear boy! ~is slashed from behind by a Space Pirate and starts leaking~ BLOODY BLIGHTER! HIT A METROID FROM BEHIND, WOT? ~murdalizes the Space Pirate~

Keira: ~forces her wings to move, while squinting dramatically~ I'll get him! ~takes off~

~Ridley spots Golem, and he and Keira both fly toward him. Keira catches him and keeps going, but the electric plug is REALLY in there, so she ends up just swinging around and smashing into the hull. However, Ridley swoops overhead and just misses them. Keira yanks the plug out and flies for the distance.

~Quez, meanwhile, content with his accomplishment, unwraps Golem, who is dismayed to notice that the TASTS is just not quite yet full enough, if only because this OG could go on a bit longer. Oh, and Ridley's still chasing them.~

~Somewhere...~

MJ: Hellow! Anyone there?

(MJ keeps walking in the bizarre, monochromatic world he found himself in, until he bumps in a stranger that was basically nothing but a two dimensional stick figure. Unbeknownst to MJ, he too was a stickfigure but he's dumb as hell so he doesn't realize this.)

MJ: Howdy! I'm MJ! Nice to meet ya!

Mr. Game & Watch: ... *whips out a giant axe*

MJ: Hey-ey... Nice... axe. My friend has an axe too. Not as cool as your though. Heh!

Mr. Game & Watch: ... *hacks off one of HIS OWN LEGS*

MJ: Er, *laughs nervously* That's a pretty neat trick you got there. Got any more?

Mr. Game & Watch: *comes after MJ with axe*

MJ: Gah! Gah! Forget I said anything! *flees*

(Mr. Game & Watch swings at MJ but the pig dissappears into a cloud of smoke before he gets a chance.)

~Back on Cylosis~

(MJ comes running out of nowhere down the friagte, totally human now and dressed as a space pirate. He makes such a total fool of himself everyone suddenly stops what they're doing.)

MJ: AH! AH! AH! Get him away!

(B102 catches the frantic boy boy the collar and lifts him on the ground.)

GM: Ugh! There he is again!

Marin: Something must've happened in the past again....

B102: *slams MJ into the ground* Fool! If you weren't the son of one my most loyal crew members, I'd have you thrown out the airlock by now.

MJ: Not the airlock! Anything but that!

Marin: Wait a sec! If MJ is alive then that means... Podley! Don't let go of the sword!

Posley: Wot? Wot?

(Suddenly the sword comes to life and starts trying to escape Podley's grasp. But his slippery tenticles are no match for Destiny and the StarSword flies out of his grap and towards MJ. But B102 ctaches it first and the sword choses him sensing his greater inner strength.)

B102: What rubbish is this? I have no use for such a flimsy thing. Could fetch a pretty price for it on the black market though.

Ridley: I wouldn't be so hasty, partner. I sense a great power emmiting from that blade.

Golem: A great... power? Oh shoe...

Ridley: Enough to blow up an entire solar sytem, in fact. We could use it to our advantage.

B102: Hmmm. Perhaps we could. Men, round up these pesky interloppers and throw them into the brig.

MJ: The brig!? *hyperventilates* But... it's so dark and spooky in there.

B102: Do you want to join them?

MJ: No master!

(Without further hesitation MJ puts Marin in the gang in magentic chains while the other space prirates round Samus and the others.)

MJ: Sorry guys. You seem like nice folk but an order is order.

Marin: MJ! Don't do this! You're still a good person I know it!

MJ: How do you know my name? .... Do I know you from somewhere?

Marin: You knew me once long ago.... You were happier then...

MJ: Happiness...? I don't think I've known such a thing in my life. Anyways, off to the brig you go.

B102: BWAWAHAAAA!!! Ridley, have you found Golem, yet!!!

Ridley: No, not yet sir. They are pretty fast!!

B102: Nonsense!! Waste no time, deploy all units on them!!

Space Pirate: But isn't mr. Golem a friend of yours??

B102: I can't have friends get in the way of my supreme domination. *double takes* And when I said "all units" I meant ALL UNITS!!! GET MOVING!!

*Space Pirate flies on out*

Kraid: Hey, if you want, I can 'em up real good.

B102: You're fat enough.

Kraid: You're one to talk....

B102: A--WHAT??!!

Kraid: Nothing. Nothing.


*Meanwhile as Ridley catches up to Golem and the rest, Samus gets a clear view of the inside of frigate, and aims at a window where a few space captains and B102's tail is visible....*

~Samus takes her shot from the bounds of the chains just before it's obscured by the incoming units. Thrakun is fuming for some reason.

The rest of the units arrive on the ground and secure the gang's passage up to the frigate. When they get up there, they find one of the computers smoking.~

B102: SAMUS!!

~B102 rears back his arm to take a swipe at Samus for damaging the ship's navigation system, but Thrakun's man-rage overflows and he breaks out of his bonds, tackling B102 in the process. He immediately jumps off of B102 to MJ as the space pirates fix the chains before anyone else escapes. Thrakun holds MJ to the ground.~

Thrakun: I thought I had gotten rid of ye, scum which is the offspring of one of my greatest enemies which may or may not be a space captain we'll just have to see how this gets written out!

~Thrakun quickly swings his axe at MJ, and B102 kinda hopes that MJ gets killed, but MJ headbutts the axe before its sharp edge can face him. B102 prevents the space captains from helping MJ out.

Golem manages to wiggle down and out of the chains, being the scrawny man he is, which loosens the chain some. Keira follows, and eventually the space pirates have no grasp on the group. The group charges forward at the Space Pirates from the middle, overcoming them easily. Before anyone can react, Golem uses Quez to lasso GM, Keira, Marin, MJ, Podley, and Thrakun, then clicks his pen. They're all transported inside the TASTS.~

Golem: Don't worry everybody, it's indestructible and impossible to get into without the key. Not to mention those energized chains gave the TASTS the extra power it needed.

Thrakun: Don't worry?! We have that embodiment of evil aboard!!

MJ: You uncivilized--

GM: Woah, woah, calm down!! MJ's pretty weird but he's not--

Thrakun: The boy helped his mother, a WOMAN ELF, to spread cell phones to all peoples!! It was horrible!! Can you reckon the oppression we were under until we destroyed his hellspawn mother? And it's not like he even has any redeeming qualities, like being a pig or maybe that he works for the sweet Medusa!

~Thrakun takes up his axe again and dashes towards MJ. Keira turns Thrakun into an eggplant, and his axe falls to the ground immediately.~

Thrakun: Ye best undo that magic, woman!!

Golem: Hoo boy... what do we do now?

GM: MJ, what was your birthday, and where did your parents live before you were born?

MJ: ...Why?!

GM: You can tell us or you can have Thrakun chop you up.

MJ: On Planet Hike. My birthday is November 10, 2000.

GM: That's it. Mr. Golem, set course for Planet Hike, April 10, 2000. We've got a birth to fix.

Golem: Hm... the TASTS' computers say that's the day of the greatest Gamehiking competition known to man.

Thrakun: I don't see why we're not killing him!

GM: If we can reroute MJ's birth, we'll probably prevent the cell phone oppression you talked about. That's better than vengeance, right?

Thrakun: Maybe...

Storyteller: ... and so those Fanvers left the Metroid Universe on the wings of an email. Meanwhile, B102, that super smart smart bad guy returned with his pirates preparing to do the unthinkable... perform experiments on the captured Samus and Mario! Space Harrier and his band of heroes escape in the nick of time.

Space Harrier: Let's go cameo in F-Zero.

Hyrule Harrier: Or SimCity!

Luigi: Or Grand Theft Auto!

Space Harrier: Wait, let's cameo in this Epiloge I found in the glove department.

~EPILOGUE~

THE FANVERS
Golem - Unlikely Hero
Marin - Female Female
Thrakun - Angry Dwarf
GM - Game Master
Podley - Patriotic Jellyfish
MJ - Former Pigman
Keira - Token Angelgirl
Quez - Continuity Buster

THE HARRIERS

Space Harrier - Forgotten Spacedude
Hyrule Harrier - Remembered Fantasydude
Luigi/Sylux - Neglected Plumberdude

SOME OTHER GUYS

Samus - Bounty Hunter
Mario - Plumber Man
Pit - Wingaling Man
Palutena - Divine Valleygirl
Zeus - Cranky Hasbeen
Kammy - Unrequited Love

VILLAINOUS TYPES

Medusa - Horrifically Beautiful
Eggwin - Underused Sorcerer
God of Poverty - Hobo God
B102 - Foreshadowed Villain
Ridley - Angry Dragon
Kraid - Pointless Cameo
Game & Watch - Unsuccessful Slayer

ALSO

Tetrimino Block - Vengeful Foe

THE END