Ms. Z: Do you think he'll be able to throw Masamune off my trail?
SB: He just has to distract him. Operation: Sweet Sixteen is near completion. We need to be ready.
~Back on the Swordefeller... above a bank~
Clerk: I'm sorry, sir. But your healthcare insurance doesn't allow that.
Masamune: I'm immortal! I don't need it!
Clerk: But is legally required to run a business because of the-
Masamune: Yes, yes. The McCloaker administration. *sighs* I'm over five hundred years old. These payments are killing me. There's no amount of injury a person could take that would ever equal the amount of money I pay monthly. I don't need it!
Clerk: I'm sorry, sir. If you'd like, I can make a smaller withdrawal.
Masamune: *sighs* How much?
Clerk: Five dollars and thirty-three cents.
Masamune: Fine. I'll take it.
~later... at the local McDonalds~
Yoshiman: Hey! Where's our food?
Masamune: I don't pay you two. You don't even work for me.
~Flutter and Yoshiman stand with their mouths slightly agape~
Rhykette: I do.
Masamune: Yes, but you don't eat.
Retro: I wish I had a job so I could afford food.
KoD: *is chowing down a tray full of hamburgers* Hrumph scarf-- huh? Oh, Retro, you're blocking my view of that girl over there. I had this idea where I would portal out of--
Masamune: No portals, remember?
~when suddenly thugs wearing Luigi_64 masks bust in. They take positions all around the restaurant. The last of them enters and she is decidedly female~
Luigi_64 Woman: Alright! We know you have a Gamehiker in here! Surrender and no one gets hurt!
Masamune: *stands up* I don't think so. I can't die and the only other person I'm vaguely concerned about is my employee, who is a robot.
Luigi_64 Woman: This can go down one of two ways. You tell us where Pablo GORE-ILLA is or...
Masamune: Or what?
Luigi_64 Woman: We blow up the Swordefeller.
Masamune: YOU WOULDN'T- oh wait, yeah. You probably would. Man this happens way too much.
Luigi_64 Woman: Well?
Masamune: JED! PORTAL TIME!
KoD: Huh!? Oh yeah!
~KoD jumps into a portal, followed by Rhykette and Retro. Masamune throws a table at Flutter and Yoshiman and jumps through~
Luigi_64 Woman: Hmph. What do with you two...
Flutter: I have a lovely singing voice.
~two of the L64 goons walk up from behind them and plunk Luigi_64 masks on them. The two suddenly stand upright like they're OMG HYPNOTIZED~
Narrator: And as for our heroes...
Penny: *idly reads a magazine* Huh? What the-
~suddenly from her cleavage a portal opens. Jed, Rhykette, Retro, and Masamune all jump out~
Penny: I- You- My- How-
Masamune: *carefully pulls off a bra from the top of his head* .... JEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!!!!
Penny: You little...!
Barbershop Triumpirate: Fresh goes better! Mentos freshness! Fresh goes better with Mentos, fresh and full of life!
KoD: *shakes head, smiles, and pulls out Mentos*
~everyone else smiles and nods understandingly~
Retro: Now what?
Masamune: We have to go... to my step-dad.
~the scene starts to end~
KoD: But how? We left the Swordefeller behind.
Masamune: *sigh* We'll take the Intergalactic Bus.
Narrator: Back at the McDonalds, however.
Dargo-X: *bursts in through the skylight that McDonalds totally have* HA! ... oh's empty. But the Swordefeller is here.
Cashier: Can I help you?
Dargo-X: ... yeah, I'll take a number 3.
Narrator: At the GORE-ILLA residence, things are far more... reminscent of the last OGs?
~GORE-ILLA sits in a large chair beside the fireplace, dressed in a purple evening robe. He has on reading glasses, is smoking a bubble pipe, and reading a large book titled "Mating Rituals Of Cross-Species Robots"~
GORE-ILLA: This bit about dating is very interesting, Topanga.
MPOM: ~cradles an infant Ronnie~ Yes, dear.
GORE-ILLA: We're such a wonderful couple.
~suddenly the door busts open, which seems to be happening a lot here, and Masamune arrives with his gang of tag-alongs~
MPOM: Oh, Masa dear. You remembered my birthday.
Masamune: I- wait, I did? I mean, GORE!
Masamune: *grits teeth* You're not really my dad. She's not even really my mother.
MPOM: INITIATE MOTHERLY GUILT TRIP! Oh... after all those years I raised you, how could you-
Masamune: Okay, okay! I'm sorry! *sighs* GORE, I need to-
GORE-ILLA: Hush, you'll wake your brother.
Masamune: HE'S NOT MY- wait, why is he a baby again?
GORE-ILLA: Your grandpa got him out of his rebellious teenager phase.
Masamune: *pinches bridge of nose* ... okay. Listen. People are looking for you.
GORE-ILLA: Aren't they always?
Masamune: Because of Luigi 64.
Flashback, GMOG4 wrote:
Yami Yoshi: Hang on a second! We didn't even accomplish what we set out to do in the first place! We never found Luigi 64's murderer!
SteveT: I'm right here, Yami.
*Straw Man bursts in with the police.*
Straw Man: (points in Steve's direction) There he is, he's the one who murdered Luigi 64! Get 'im!
SteveT: FINALLY! It's about time sometime recognizes my homocidal tendencies.
*The police officers walk straight past Steve and restrain GORE-ILLA.*
SteveT: Oh what the hell.
GORE: Hey, what's the big idea?
Officer: Your mom sleeping with me is! (chuckles)
Straw Man: Pablo GORE-ILLA, you are under arrest for the murder of Luigine 6alvatore 4dorniy! You don't have the right to win the court trail unless it somehow makes me look good!
GORE: Where did all this come from?
Straw Man: Don't hide it from me, Pablo! I did some research. It seems you have a grudge with Luigine that stretches back to when he got the lead role in the Broadway production of West Side Story and you didn't!
GORE: I really wanted to be a Jet... Just because I'm not an American teen... or human...
Straw Man: I take that as a confession.
GORE-ILLA: I'm not sure we needed a flashback.
Masamune: Oh fine. ((See issue 287!)
Retro: Actually I found it helpful. I wasn't there.
KoD: Yeah, but I read the archive.
GORE-ILLA: Very well. *sighs, takes off the robe, puts the pipe away, and shuts the book* Topanga dear, take little Ronnie to my parents. I'll take care of this.
MPOM: Yes dear. *transforms into a F-1 Fighter jet and takes off with Ronnie through the roof*
Rhykette: Why can't I do that?
Masamune: Alright, now we can-
GORE-ILLA: *punches Masamune in the face*
Masamune: OWW! *gets up and cradles a bloody nose* What the hell!?
GORE-ILLA: Knock next time.