~As the curtains pull away to allow this story to begin, a deep voice, belonging to a man, speaks as the camera is fixed upon the slowly rotating earth.~

"All of the way from the dawn of our creation,
mankind has established their place on this world.
They built their cities, their families, their laws,
and built their own societies."

~The image of the earth begins to decay into a purple color.~

"Humans are born with the need of power,
and with emotions, as well as poor judgment.
It is in them to wrong themselves and others,
resulting in wars, struggle, and even annihilation.

Their own suspicions and lust for supremacy and control,
is what inevitably lead to their downfall.
All living things will, one day, come to an end,
but how we are judged here can mark our place in the universe,
among all things that exist, seen.. or unseen.

What will be judged.. and whom?
What determines the fate of humans, the fate of Gods,
and who decides the fate of all things?

That is about to be decided."
Make War, Not Pixels!

~Three years have passed since the once perfect city of Rapture met further ruin, and the fateful battle that took place on the sea floor. The heroes responsible for the temporary salvation of the Earth: Nintendofreak and Retro Belmont, have since gone their separate ways.~

[New York City, 2021]

*An awesome rock n' roll intro is heard as the title fades and the view changes into New York City, a somewhat more futuristic setting than what it used to be. A darkened sky looms overhead, with a shooting star wiping across the sky. As the credits of notable people fade, down below, the homeless roam the streets, holding up signs which read things such as "Abandon Hope" or "The End came and won't leave, even though I asked nicely."

Down an alleyway, behind some old junk, a secret passageway leads into a makeshift home occupied by our former antagonist: Retro Belmont.*

Retro: *Watching the news while laying lazily on the couch*

~The front door slams. Fera walks away from it and throws a book towards a table but it misses and bounces off of Retro's head, but he doesn't notice. She collapses down on the couch on top of him.~

Retro: Something wrong? I was getting worried.

Fera: *Sigh* No. It's just this state of the world we're in. Ridiculous.

Retro: It's getting worse, too. *Lifts Fera up off him and they both sit upright* I've been watching the news for the past few months, everything seems to be sinking down into the surface of the Earth, as if the ground is becoming less solid. It's such a bizarre set of events, my only guess is that what happened in Rapture set this off. We're heading right for the apocalypse.

Fera: Sweetie, I don't think the apocalypse is going to be the best thing for us right now.

Retro: At least there's the thrill of deep space!

Fera: *Looks downward* You know how I can apparently sense dimensions and power such as that? Yeah, well, when I was outside I used my magic to check in on these weird sensations I've been feeling lately. And, well..in outer space- right outside earth, there just happen to be these...things.

Retro: What? O-Zone? Bah, that stuff should be easy to burn through!

Fera: No, I mean a whole assortment of dimensional holes that will suck you in and crush you like an ant being run over by a train the size of the sun. The second we try and leave, we'll be killed. *Starts to tear up*

Retro: I'll find a way to save us, I promise. By the time the Earth is gone, both of us will be living happily on a new, peaceful planet somewhere.

Fera: Okay.. *Wipes tears* I have something to tell you, and I guess now is the best time.

Retro: What?

~Fera whispers something to Retro, the biggest frown ever imagined happened at this moment, as Retro slouches in his seat while some 'Game Over' music plays in the background.~

Retro: But I don’t know how to be a dad!

***

[Three years earlier: Rapture]

Fred: Aaaannnnd we’re out of fuel oh man

Leaven: You haven’t even taken off yet! Forget this. *Speaks to walkie talkie* Men, I’m sending you some coordinates to my location, I need a transport to the CIA headquarters!

Fred: Hey can I come with you buddy? Huhhuhuhuhuhuhuh?

Leaven: If you pledge loyalty to the Celestial Inflation Agency and the comander.

Fred: We goin’ to SPACE?!

Leaven: Provided we don’t die any second now. (And without the prototype or pixels either.. How am I gonna explain this to the commander? I'm trusted with this voayge to Rapture to secure the items of power and I just bring him this guy instead.)

Leaven: So.. what are you doing here anyway, kid?

Fred: I’m not a kid. I’m going to sexually molest you for that come here-

Leaven: *Backhands Fred out the window of the helicopter.*

~Elsewhere, Clyde and Kane sit aboard a Legion helicopter and extract 'the machine' from Rapture.~

Kane: Excuse me, Clyde, this is supposed to be what, exactly?

Clyde: The solution.

Kane: To what?

Clyde: The end to the war, of course. With this, Rapture and the Earth is finished, and the Galaxy will soon be my own personal Empire. And it’s all thanks to you.

Kane: Empire, huh?

Clyde: Do you seek power, Kane?

Kane: *Stares into his reflection in the windshield* What I seek is to be superior to X-65.

Clyde: We are going to seek it together then. Welcome to the family, commander. *They shake hands*

~Kane’s eyes shift out of the window and spot something.~

Kane: Clyde, look at this!

Clyde: Fontane is.. dead? I wouldn’t believe it if I wasn’t seeing it with my own eyes! This is a glorious day, indeed! Bwahaha!

Kane: X-65 wasn’t willing to end it himself..what an idiot.

Clyde: Perhaps part of him thinks he can still save Director. As you’ve just said, what an idiot.

Kane: Ah, he just left, and apparently so did Belmont.

Clyde: Leave them be. I have this strong feeling that we won’t have to worry about them later. *Sneer*

~Back in present time, but out in the Galaxy somewhere, the CIA Headquarters floats aimlessly. A huge space station, not any particular shape, but inside is an armada of soldiers, all sporting baseball helmets and bats at their side. Leaven strides through twin automatic doors and into a briefing chamber. On the wall, a flat screen monitor lights up and shows something or someone sitting in the darkness. And as we all know, the only thing you can see in absolute darkness is a pair of someone’s eyes.~

???: Leaven, so you've returned. What have you to report?

Leaven: Planet Earth, without what I assume is the power of the machine extracted three years ago, will indefinitely destroy itself soon. However, the 'prototype' seems to still be on the planet, and hasn't made any sort of escape. Now then, as for the war, the Planetary Defenders Guild is giving us full attention, and will no doubt join the fray soon. As for Legion, they pose no serious threat to us at this time. Merely a fly buzzing in our face, all we have to do is locate the swatter.

???: We'll have to recover the prototype somehow. There's still time to retrieve him, I know it. Leaven... about these dimensional holes...

Leaven: We had to forge them using the energy of the old one, sir. That's the one that the Epic Dino Guild stole from us earlier. But since it's unstable due to a mysterious blast, the energy is unstable. Who knows how it might react if we encounter it. We're having enough trouble controlling it as it is...

???: Your lack of non-troubling thoughts disturbs me.

Leaven: Do you know something I don't?

???: The manufactured dimensions are fine. The main threat to keeping them there is a mysterious power known to some as "Yerp". Have you heard of such a power?

Leaven: I may have, yes.

???: There was a large amount of it in Dimension 'A', (AKA Epic Dino Dimension) until it was destroyed by this unknown power. The excess power seems to have warped to two different spots.

Leaven: Honestly. sir, this has had me confused for the past three years..

???: Just imagine something for a moment: A vessel containing Yerp energy suddenly expands and shatters a dimension. The energy contracts and splits, causing the vessel carrying it to be warped to two different places. One is the vessel itself, not going anywhere, the next...

Leaven: Yeah?

???: Anywhere in the known universe.

Leaven: How can you figure that?

???: I don't know. Something just tells me that I should know that. I'm taking my wild card for this moment to say that I know something completely non-canon.

Leaven: Interesting. Can I fathom such a card, My Lord?

???: *Laughs* I have not yet explained to you all that I know, Leaven. Do not worry, the power to do many things will come to you as promised, yes. But before that, I must express more concern to you. There were two men in Dimension A before it sealed: The Yerp vessel, and a man who contained the vast amount of pixels we've been looking for. We took him out of the dimension and questioned him, but alas, that's when he...

Leaven: …That’s when he escaped. I have yet to meet this man, but I know that will change. You say...he wore a suit of pixels, correct?

???: Yes. He has amazing powers from what I saw on the hidden tape feed. That submarine was destroyed, but thankfully we know his power. I'll have to look into it after priority one is dealt with.

Leaven: Excuse me, sir, I can't help but revisit the Yerp issue.

???: Yes, what about it?

Leaven: Do you think that there is a chance that this mysterious power will return?

???: For all of our sakes.. I hope I never live to see it. It could spell death for us all.

***

~Elsewhere, on the edge of the very universe itself~

…

…rp…

…er…

…Ye…rp…

~Not far away, a peaceful planet is peacefully being peaceful. A peaceful race of peace loving aliens enjoy the peace-filled day.~

Citizen: Help! Help! Everything is not peaceful! Do you hear me? I say that everything we've thought peaceful is most certainly, 110% UNSAFE.

Other citizen: Hey, calm down Jerry, you're straining yourself yelling so much about needless things. Why don't you sit down and enjoy the peaceful picnic?

Jerry: *Shockingly turns his head to the speaker* You..don't tell me to calm down! *Points finger in his face with his mouth wide open* You're always doing that! I HATE it!

Another citizen: You two, you're worrying a bit much about things yeah? Everything's so peaceful, we don't gotta tell eachother, it's this planet's number one, unspoken rule, and...*Stops mid-sentence and points up into the sky* ..we're all done for!!

~A gigantic, moon-like object sits in the sky. Across its front, a pair of large eyes and a white mustache that took up most of it. Atop its “head” a navy blue cap. The mustache lifts upward and a large gaping hole appears, which was surrounded by pincer-like teeth.~

Moon: I WILL CONSUME ALL. COMSUME..EVERYTHING. YERP.

Citizen: Well that's new.

Uniyerp: I. AM. UNIYERP. I WILL DEVOUR THE COSMOS. BUT FIRST, I MUST DELVE INTO THE FABRIC OF ULTIMATE PLEASURE.

Jerry: Please spare us! You've gotta!

Uniyerp: I WILL SPARE NO ONE. THIS UNIVERSE IS EXPENDABLE AND VULNERABLE, SO IT MUST BE DIGESTED AND REBORN INTO AN INVINCIBLE ENTITY. YOU WILL ALL BE RECYCLED. *Moves towards the planet with his pincers out*

~Elsewhere, back on Earth.~

Retro: So, I just have to break through that rift in space-time to get through, right?

Fera: You can’t. See, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. You’ll die if you try it, and you’ll die trying. Just don’t do it, please?

Retro: I won’t know unless I try!

Fera: Ugh..

~Retro transforms into his original Pixel suit using his P.exe.l arm, which by the way allows him to take off his suit aside from the one arm where P.exe.l’s energy is attached to.~

Retro: Get ready for the fight of your life, gravity!

-3 years ago-

*retro and the mysterious man are riding the lift to the surface as rapture explodes*

Retro: Director always was too headstrong. Pity.

???: Or was it you.

*Retro looks up. No one is in the lift but himself. He stares around eerily as the lift reaches the beach of new york city*

Retro: Jesus that bathysphere moves fast.

*Retro breaks out of the bathysphere and walks into the smoggy streets of new york. As he is walking he runs into a familiar face*

Retro:..... Fera?

Fera: EEK!

*Fera takes out mace and sprays it at Retro*

---The present---

Retro: *leaps into the rift*

Fera: I'm too young to be a single parent!

*An arm reaches out of the worm hole and grabs Fera*

*Now we take you to a dusty road somewhere in the dusty desert in the middle of dustville. The only thing that is heard is the loud howls of the wind and a tumble weed, oh and that motorcycle in the distance. The motorcycle is an awsome chopper with awsome hotrod flames and awsomeness flowing from it. The man driving it is wearing a black leather jacket, black jeans with flame designs coming from the bottom of the legs and a long, flowing cape. The man is adorned with some cool sunglasses and purple biker boots along with biker gloves. The man pulls up his bike beside a war-torn baseball feild, hundreds of soldier's dead corpses are laying across the diamond.*

Nintendofreak: This place............Brings back memories......

*A flashback ensues*

*Retro places the pixel on the catcher's mound and steps back. A bolt of lightning hits it and lifts it into the air. A swirling portal opens in the sky and two legs decend from the portal, but stop*

???: Aaaaaahhh! I'm stuck! Get me out of here!

*Retro stands on Director's shoulders and pulls on the legs, a man falls out of it. He is wearing a cap with a large N on it*

Director: It can't be!

Retro: But he's dead!

Nintendofreak: Long time no see guys!

*end flashback*

Nintendofreak: Director............

*Another flashback*

Director: Well that was strange, what do you sopose IT is?

NintendoFreak: A taco my good sir!

*Another flashback (again)*

Nintendofreak: Who in the hell are you!?

Murphy: The janitor, yerp.

Director: What were you just doing? I heard a crash!

Murphy: I farted a little.

*Yet ANOTHER flashback!*

Nintendofreak: You were my friend! My brother! You bastard!

Director: It's nothing personal kid, it's just good bussiness, once this place blows, I'll be able to take over Rapture with an iron fist. Catch ya' later kid, oh wait, I won't

Nintendofreak: What's stopping me from walking out of here?!

Director: This, "Would you stay here until the rector blows up? Please and thank you"

*Nintendofreak then freezes in place, with a focussed, obediant look on his face*

Director: G'night ladies

*Director enters a bathysphere which takes him miles away to his hidout*

*End flashbacks*

Nintendofreak: Why did you............How could you.......Brother......

*Nintendofreak sees Retro in his space pod going into well, space. Nintendofreak can see him because he has awsome vision or something. Nintendofreak unsheathes a hidden two-handed sword and looks back up at Retro*

Nintendofreak: I think it's time I visit an old friend....

*Nintendofreak rides off into the distance*

*And now to a giant, red gunship in space with a large L on the side. The gunship is serrounded by thousands of smaller gunships and space-fighters. inside the bridge of the main gunship is a war-room with several generals and soldiers calculating stategies and attacks. A blonde haired man sits on a large chair and watches his fleet, a crooked smile of satisfaction slowly forms on his face.*

Warlord Clyde: Three years now since that fateful day..........The day my regime would wage war on the world........I am on the verge of victory!

Commander Kane: Sir! A small vessal is trying to break through the CIA's rift sheild over Earth!

Clyde: Really?! Bring it up on the monitor! Let's watch it implode!

*I giant TV screen folds down from the ceiling*

Clyde pressing random buttons on his remote: How does this damn thing work again? Was it channel 4 or 983994 to watch the global security feed?

OoC: This starting, (sniff)... it brings back memories...
----------------

Commander Kane: It's the English channel, sir!

Warlord Clyde: what are we even doing

TV: Main screen turn on

(Retro appears and the camera adds ten pounds to him)

Warlord Clyde: It's you!

Commander Kane: Me, Sir?

Warlord Clyde: I don't know. Sure.

Commander Kane: Right! Get him! (Tackles himself until the guards detain him)

Warlord Clyde: That's no vessel... that's a pixel suit! Terror stings and bites, poisoning our resolve on this autumn of dissuadement. A man may dream but dream, dream of that which he made but never of the rest, lest he sully his pure mind, pure as downy ultra but wanting uncleanliness. The cold vestiges of our space brings needless disease of greed most afoul... Waste is fair whilst-

Lt. Useless: Yeah, uh, you're going to have to give the order to shoot it down. If you could do that, that'd be greeeattt.

Warlord Clyde: VERY WELL! SHOOT HIM DOWN, ELIJAH WOODS

(over speaker) Elijah Woods: Anything for you, Clyde. (Does fancy loop de loops and his gunship rides down a flight of stairs on a shield and goes up and elephant and fights in a water-wheel but Retro just kicks his ship and it flies to Eurasia or somewhere hell I don't know)

Warlord Clyde: Damn! He was our highest paid soldier! Everyone else, set out the Nets!

(over speaker) Soldier #487856: Whoa that's a big ass

(over speaker) Soldier # 1313: It's a gundam- (gunship explodes for no reason)

(over speaker) Soldier # 44444444444444444: Which nets, sir?

Warlord Clyde: The InterNets!

(Retro has almost made it through)

Retro: I've almost made it through! This is usually where something bad happens, but it's been going so well tha-

(The gunships take a huge dump on Retro and catch him in the webbings of the most terrible of sites: 4chan, www.freal.com, www.gamehikers.com and finally the griffinfuhrer site. Retro is caught and falls back to earth in his living room)

Retro: Ohhhh, right, I was trying to break a dimension!

Fera: I'm pregnant. WITH CANCER

Retro: OH GOD I MEAN why not Sagittarius

InterNettting: LERN 2 BIRTHS

(Meanwhile)

Leaven: Since this is a space OG and even though you job is only to wipe me down we're required to supply you with this

Fred: Good because those pieces I grew back fighting with you feel suspiciously like jello and taste like it too

Leaven: I present: The Lithium Debater.

Fred: We're going to need parenthesis to explain it.

Leaven: I could narrate featur-

Fred: Shut up what have you ever done for me

(Right, then, a gigantic robot suit is in front of Fred, standing thirty feet tall, and is basically orange with a red cape. It has six arms and two legs and three noses, as well as flamethrowers mounted on its highest shoulders just so. The middle contains machine guns and rockets and the arms don't contain anything because they're used for punching IDIOT.)

Leaven: Hey, we don't pay you to insult the audience.

(Sorry. On the back is the fearsome RIP CANNON which is some stupid Deus Ex Machina weapon that doesn't work half of the time)

Leaven: What do you think?

Fred: (kicks Leaven in the nuts in just the right place that it gets rid of his testicular cancer) I hate it. That's the word, right? I can't say "love", it's a genetic defect.

Fred: Lithium Debater for life.

*Fred and Leaven hop in the lithium Debater and cruise to san diego to go to Lego land*

Fred: This place sucks no ones even alive.

GORE: Tickets please.

Michael Jackson thriller zombie: BNraiiiians

Fred: Hey its GORE.

El Mundo: Si Senor.

Fred: Mundo weren't you eaten-

el Mundo: I don't want to talk about it.

Fred: This place is a disney ripoff

Fred: Like, I know right.

fred; FRED YOUR ALIVE!

Fred: I am a ghost boOoOoOOooOoO.

Fred: Oh.

Fred: Revenge REVENGE kill Retro and like Fontane with Lithium debater.

Leaven: *snoare*

Fred: Fred has a point Fred

Fred: I agree.

Fred: ZOMG clone.

Leaven: *totally jumps into a lego boat*

----

*meanwhile at the destroyed ruins of rapture, not a soul survives. Only moss and seaweed*

.........

.....

.
..........

......

* two eyes light up from under a pile of rock, the rock begins to rumble. Tentacles lash out from the bottom of the rocks, they explode in a mass of ADAM and pixels and suddenly reform just outside of the rock*

???????: I live.

*a body missing an arm and a leg floats about the ocean. This body is Fontane. Suddenly ADAM begins to form around him creating a new arm which instantly attatches tO Fontanes body. A leg forms and it too attatches to Fontane*

Fontane: Ah three years is a long time to wait..... now the earth shall run red with blood.

*As Fontane walks along the ocean bed thousands of particles form behind him into humans who are spliced with the power of ADAM and pixels. Soon thousands of disgusting humans are following him. Suddenly three explode, their ADAM reforms into a gigantic...... Leech, with ADAM colored blotches on its back. Soon there are hundreds of leeches, thousands of humans, and one being of pure evil walking along the ocean floor*

*Back to Retro's smelly apartment*

Retro: Are you sure that you're pregnant pregnant?

Fera: Is there any other kind?

Retro: Yes, but that's not the point!

Fera: What is?

Retro: Well I don't exactly remember ever doing the sideways cha-cha with you

Fera: So? You don't need to have sex to have a baby, look at every Disney movie ever, you just need to love

Retro: Love is overrated

*The front door kicks open and loud, epic music begins playing. A shadowy figure with a large purple cloak enters the room and trips over a pizza box*

Nintendofreak: Damnit Retro don't you ever clean?!

Retro: What is this clean you speak of?

*Back to the Legion flagship*

Cl. Sanders: Sir! I'm picking up high ammounts of pixels and ADAM just off of the New York coast!

Clyde spits his morning coffee: WHAAAAATTTTT????!!!!

Cl. Sanders: I said I'm picking up high ammounts of-

Clyde: I heard what you said! Bring it up on the monitor again!

*The screen flicks on to show a large, blurry, movie line on seabed*

Clyde: What the hell is that?!

*As the line moves closer, it gets less blurry and you can start to make out what looks like humans and slugs*

Clyde: What the.........

*As the entire ADAM army comes into view, an ADAM slug eats the camara*

Kane: What does this mean?

Clyde: Fontane.............He's back.....

*DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!*

Kane: Shoe! Sanders, evacuate all our troops in the New York City area! Seal off the city! Deploy the battleships!

Sanders: Yes sir!

*Sanders sends a message to the Legion's Navy Battleship located in New York Harbor. A large, fuzzy, blue coated man walks in and reads the message*

Admiral IT: I do say, it must be time for another trouncing! Send out the fleet, old bean!

Generic Naval Officer: Aye aye!

*hundreds upon thousands of battleships and such mobilize into formation*

Nintendofreak: Say Retro, maybe it's time we had a little talk...using swords.

Retro: Mine's being cleaned, can we reschedule?

Nintendofreak: Reschedule this!

Retro: Well I guess that could work out...

(Sword misses Retro by more or less one inch or some kind of measurement and somehow completely obliterates his sofa. But how Nintendofreak could even miss a target standing still like that is a mystery in itself.)

Fera: My sofa!!! You cruel, heartless monster! *Starts slapping Nintendofreak*

Nintendofreak: ~While being slapped~ ...So when did Fera get back into the series?

Retro: Apprently three posts ago. Sheesh.

Nintendofreak: Do my eyes deceive me or did I really read in the last post that Fera was pregnant?

Retro: It was an accident... I swear!

Fera: You mean you don't remember those nights of sweet, passionate love?

Retro: Never correct me, woman!

Nintendofreak: I hate to break this up, I really do, but I demand answers to some things I have questions to!!

Retro: Well then I guess I have no choice but to cooperate and kill you.

~Retro, still in his pixel suit, charges at Nintendofreak and lets loose with punches, but just gets swatted away by the flat end of Nintendofreak's sword and is sent flying outside of the gaping hole on the side of his apartment. Nintendofreak follows after him and looks down to the street from the hole, and gets blasted the second he appears by a pixelicious beam. Nintendofreak recovers quickly, runs back to the hole, and chucks his huge sword at Retro, who dodges, and flies at Nintendofreak, bringing him outside after nailing him with an uppercut.

He swings a few more powerful punches, but Nintendofreak dodges them all with style, and counters by spin kicking Retro in the kidney. After sending him downwards, he follows with a cannonball drop and slams into Retro's stomach, sending them both down towards the ground.~

Retro: Did you already run out of those fancy codes? I was half expecting to see some of those insane moves you used on Director when you fought him back in Rapture.

Nintendofreak: What are you talking about? I don't know any codes! And what do you mean Director...he's...he's dead! Have you forgotten already?!

Retro: Emo now, are we? Of all people, you should have been able to feel the hollow shell inside Fontane's body. I first sensed the body within him when I fought Director atop Fontane Industries.

Nintendofreak: . . .

Retro: Go ahead and think that over while I finish this up. I'd really rather not hit the ground, so...!

~Retro suddenly grabs Nintendofreak with both arms and swings him around his body, making him the first to hit the ground. He fires a massive Pixel blast at him right after. Nintendofreak takes the hit, not seeing it coming, and flies down into the asphalt and also into several cars passing by about five stories below. Retro floats in the air with his arms crossed as he watches him lay there, and then slowly get back up.~

Retro: I forgot to hear out your 'questions' though. *shrugs* But that's the answer I probably would have given to all of them anyhow.

Nintendofreak: Retro! I wanted to team up!

Retro: You barged into my house with a sword drawn to ask me that...? Sheesh, you really know how to give people the wrong impressions.

Nintendofreak: Well...if we weren't enemies maybe I wouldn't have assumed that getting answers out of you would require force.

Retro: I don't blame you for thinking that, I was evil back then.

Nintendofreak: So...what, you're not now?

Retro: Nope, I'm 110% not as evil. Yup! Come here ol' buddy ol' pal, give your friend Retro a big nice hug!

Nintendofreak: ...No.

Retro: Well, your loss... Say, you've probably heard the news.

Nintendofreak: Eh? News?

Retro: What we did in Rapture had a bit of an effect on the rest of the world.

Nintendofreak: Oh, what kind of an effect?

Retro: A doomsday-esque kind of effect, sort of. Has to do with the thing taken from Rapture. If you want to know what I think...

Nintendofreak: No.

Retro: I think it was the object stolen, and not the self destruct, which destroyed Rapture. Strange, huh? Well anyway, now that the planet is pretty much screwed, and since there is no way I can take myself and Fera off of it since there are dimensional holes covering the entire planet, we'll have to do something fast.

Nintendofreak: I take it that's what you were flying off to do before, right?

Retro: That shracking internet stuff hurts. Hard.

Nintendofreak: Well I do have one thing that comes to mind, actually.

Retro: Well then finish it in one sentence and stop making me interrupt you! *Backhands Nintendofreak into a bunch of discarded pizza boxes.*

Nintendofreak: Use Fera to unseal the dimension we sent you into, and use that to send us into Space!

Retro: Let's see, we could do what you said and fly off to our deaths in an imbalanced dimension...or wait here to die. I mean, I like both of them equally but yours requires effort...

(Legionwhile)

Colonel Sanders: How can those men fight the ADAM menace without any hearty fried chicken to give them courage?

Warlord Clyde: They'll pull through, they have to.

Commander Kane: The dimensional flux outside the Earth's atmosphere just got even more powerful, sir.

Warlord Clyde: Um, I forgot about that.

Commander Kane: Reports also show that Earth is well...doomed. We could just try to stall Fontane down there until the apocalypse happens, at least that way we'll be rid of him for good this time.

Warlord Clyde: You're right, if left alone, Fontane could easily overpower the dimensional flux with his power. We'll need to stall him. Send in back up!

Guy with a phone: Backup sent from docking bay 4! And...they died on the entry through the atmosphere.

Warlord Clyde: (Facepalm) I hate dimensions.

Commander Kane: Hopefully IT can hold off Fontane long enough for the Earth to destroy itself, and not just run away screaming before the first shot is fired.

(Earth- No approximate time left until doomsday. Cut to a secret underground base in the District of Columbia and you get the PDG headquarters. A little ways away from that a secret testing facility. Inside the first building though, a conference is being held to discuss the new involvement in the war on AIDS I mean war in space.)

CEO: Gentlemen, I'm sure you are very aware of the present situation, or else you wouldn't be in this damn meeting.

Right-hand man: Planetary Troopers were deployed last night and are now stationed out in our space stations around Mars I think. We ourselves should be thinking of...erm, evacuating.

Left-hand Stan: Evacuation is impossible due to the dimensional rifts that opened up a few hours ago. Besides, we wouldn't be able to leave in time.

CEO: In case you have forgotten we have a duty to protect the Earth, and letting everyone else on the planet except us die in an implosion doesn't really make us look good. Still, it will be difficult to save everyone, not knowing what we're up against.

Scientist: The pixel research isn't going too well, either. Since the Paintatorium exploded about four years ago it's been hard to reconstruct the same results we had back then. Everything about P.exe.l was in that building.

CEO: In that case we don't have a lot of options. The CIA's alien experiments on Gamma 9_Z also weren't recovered, so we don't know ANYTHING about their soldiers. How are we supposed to fight this enemy?

Scientist: Someone in our department knows about something linked to the disappearance of the SS Diablo though. Let me get him.

(A few moments later)

Robotnik: WHAT, WHAT IS IT?

Scientist: Your understudy, Kenway was it? Yeah, well he supposedly found one of the crew members aboard the Diablo...except he turned him into some monster robot thing.

Robotnik: HHHHHHHHRRRRRRUURRRRRRRRR....NO.

Scientist: Eyewitnesses helped Police in the area construct a face profile for him, and after looking through all of the files, we concluded it was the janitor aboard the Diablo, Murphy.

(Meanwhile)

Uniyerp: Yerp.

Peacean: Quit eating me will ya'? Damn tourists.

(Back to PDG)

Scientist: With Murphy somehow surviving, then surely some of the other members must've survived also.

CEO: I'm really finding it hard to care any more.

Scientist: Then you might be interested to know that we have records of supposed extraterrestrial activity in the Midwest back in 2018.

CEO: ALIEN!?!?!?!

*New York Harbor, 2021 "The day that some crazy shit went down!"*

Soldier: INCOMING!!!

*Several soldiers on the deck of a Legion battleship hit the deck as an ADAM Bomb crushes the hull, ADAM spews out everywhere*

Soldier: Is everyone alright?

Soldier #2: Yea I think I'm okay-*Is covered by living ADAM*

Soldier: Holy sh-*Is also covered*

*By now the Legion Naval Fleet and the ADAM Army have been fighint gor hours, several thousands ADAM beings mold together to form a living battleship! Several dead and dying men are floating among the blood red water filled with bloody blood. Smoke and cannonfire fills the air. Explosions go off in the distance fallowed by several screams of agony.*

IT: Prepare for attack!

*The Legion Naval Flagship and an ADAM Destroyer cruise up beside eachother slowly*

IT: Hold! Hold! Ready! FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRREEEEEEE!!!!!

*The Legion Flagship's cannons open fire on the ADAM Destroyer as the latter returns fire*

IT: FIRE THE DOUBLE-BARRELED VULCAN CANNON!

*The Legion Flagship's gargantuant main cannons open fire on the bridge of the destroyer, rendering it imobile*

Radio voice: Sir! We need cover fire! We're serrounded! Th-the enemy's flagship is coming! I-Oh god! Their charging up their main cann-*line dies*

IT: Come again? Do you read me? Dear boy, do you read?!

*The ship's hull rocks violently*

IT: Crumpets, what was tha-*The entire bridge blows apart in a shredded mass of steel*

*IT is thrown to the deck of the now sinking ship, he struggles to turn around and see the ADAM flagship cruising beside the fiery heap of scrap metal*

IT: I say, what kind of insane monster could lead these abominations?!

Fontane: Insane, but not stupid, kid

IT: I shall send you back to hell, damned abomination of God!

Fontane: God? There is no God! God is a myth that people like you, with weak wills created for hope! There is no hope! You can't just want something and think a merciful god will give it to you! You must take what you want!

*IT grabs an AK from a dead soldier and aims it at Fontane*

IT: Get back in hell where you belong!

Fontane: You first!

*IT fires his weapon valiently hoping to end the war and destroy this menace that faces him. Fontane simply gives a flick of his wrist and an ADAM sheild reflects the bullets back at IT. IT tries to react but realizes that the entire time he was yelling at Fontane, ADAM creatures have taken over the sinking ship and have pinned IT's legs down. Several bullets perice through IT's torso as he lets out a wail of pain, but the wail suddenly stops as an ADAM tentacle peirces through his gut. IT is left sitting up, he continues to fire at Fontane until te bullets run out. As IT's hand lowers the weapon, finger still holding down the firing trigger, his eyes roll back into his head as he utters his last words*

IT: I........Will be......Back in the........Next..OG......*dies*

*And now a less dreary setting, A DESERTED DESERT OF DUSTY DEATH!*

Retro holding the bridge of his nose: I thought you said you were going to fill up the tank today!

Fera: Do you have any idea what gas costs nowadays?! You're lucky we can afford air!

Retro: We can't

Fera: *gasp!*

*Fera continues to hold her breath until she passes out*

Nintendofreak: That can't be good for the baby

Retro: I stopped caring 3 posts ago

Nintendofreak: So where do we suppose we are?

Retro: Well let's see, dead bird, cactus, tumbleweeds, I'de say we're in the middle of scenic NOWHERE!!!

Nintendofreak: Well we can't be far from that town you destroyed

ALIEN: YOU JERKS LEFT ME HERE!

*To be continued*

*Fontane steps out to the sinking prow of the ship. He breathes a large gust of air, letting it out slowly*

Fontane: Been a long time since I was topside.

*Fontane lights a cigarette, and shouts for his splicers*

Fontane: This city is mine now.

* The splicer flood the city, hours later, everyone in new York city has died.*

Fontane: *On transceiver* Big Brother do you copy?

Big Brother: Fontane?!?! You didnt die in Raptures explosion?

Fontane: Nope, kid.

Big Brother: That punk pumpkin stole my suit.

Fontane: Check the mail, I sent ya a new one.

*Big brother opens his mailbox and a suit falls out. Instead of a big daddy drill it has a a large cannon, on his left hand is a regular hand with pointed fingers. On the back are two missile launchers, and on the suits eye there is a small sniper scope.*

Big Brother: Damn.

Fontane: You still got the big daddys?

Big Brother: Apparently they dont blow up.

Fontane: Kid, I need to ask you a little favour. Oh and print me some glossies of those big brother is watching posters they are too cool for school kiddo.

*fontane cuts his arm, ADAM spills to the ground. soon a gargantuan beast stands before Fontane. He resembles Atlas*

Fontane: For the apples of hisperides, Atlas has shrugged.

*Fontane sends Experiment: Atlas I the city to continue Earths conquest.*

Fontane: The titans rise from the depths of Tartarus this day.

*Fontane regrows his arm, it turns into a spear of ADAM. He stabs the water below him. Soon a vortex opens up in the pool, as hands emerge from it.*

Fontane: I will not be stopped this day.

*clyde is watching all this on a lone sentry camera*

Clyde: Well I'm screwed.

*fontane sees the camera and shoots and ADAM ball at it, Clydes video feed is destroyed, the camera soon morphs into an ADAM robot cyborg.*

*Clyde pound his fists on the arm of his chair*

Clyde: DAMNIT! How long until Earth blows up?!

Colonel Sanders: Not much longer

Clyde: Good! Make sure Fontane stays on the planet!

Colonel Sanders: X-65 seems to be moving........Fast

Clyde: And?

Colonel Sanders: Well sir......It's just........We're also picking up large ammounts of pixel and yerp energy with him

*Clyde spits out his coffee*

Clyde: WHAAAAAAAATTT??!!

Kane: They're heading to the original dimensional rift!

*Clyde spit takes again*

Clyde: No! Stop them! They cannot get through!

Kane: Even if they do get through, I doubt they can stop us

Clyde: Right but if they can get through maybe Fontane will find a way, which reminds me. What is the status on the ADAM destrucion syrum?!

Kane: Our scientists are working around the clock, they say they are close to a solution

Clyde: Good, and I trust the MG-L has been outfitted with my demands?

Kane: Yes, the weapon is up at full capacity, we've seen a 500% increase in power

Clyde: Exelent!

*Clyde presses some buttons on his chair and a shadowy figure appears on-screen*

???: Yes, sire?

Clyde: Take your crew to earth and track X-65, make sure he doesnt make it off the planet!

???: Aye, sir!

*inside a lab in Fontanes flagship a Scientist wearing eye tight goggles, which enlarge his blood vessels 10 fold, is working on new plasmids*

Orinfall: And the master says the ambrosia will create powers unbelievable.

Llafniro: Yes yes thats what he needs mind control to splice the dead ones.

Orinfall: The cult shall be pleased with us.

Llafniro: Yes yes yessss..... Cult of Ambrosia necatrszd,d.. heyaheyahe.


*Orinfall, while speaking to himself, mixes up the last of thousands of plasmid filled bottles. He presses a button causing the bottles to lift up to the main deck.*

Fontane: Right on time. Now then...

*fontane picks up the plasmid crate, and flings it at New York city's remains. Soon....... the dead citizens stand up, not alive, but not dead either.*

The Last Survivors of New York

*a man wearing a Black Tuxedo with a shaved head was stearing out of his New York appartment*


Doc Hatchet: *takes a puff of a newly lit cigarette. He speaks as a puff of black smoke emits from his maw* Zombies.

Barnaby Jones: Help me get this wig off.... Nnnngh.

Doc Hatchet: ZOMBIES! Let's get the hell out of here.

Barnaby: Nnnngh wig nnnnngh.

*Doc hatchet pulls out a rag covered in chloroform and chokes barnaby to sleep*

Doc Hatchet: Looks like I'm gonna need to talk to that guy.

* Doc hatchet lifts up Barnaby and drags him to a parked car, which he drives to a gigantic out of city war machine*

----

Killface: VAL WHY FOR GODS SAKES IS IT Y O U' R E "Doom" IS IT... AN IRONIC DOOM?!?!

Val: I'm sorry!

Killface: Is-

*Doc Hatchet arrives via a lift to the top of the Annialatrix, and he begins to talk to killface*

Killface: Oh god it's you.

Doc: Hey long time no see scary white monster!

*Back to that guy and his pregnant girlfriend, by now they all have been beating up ALIEN*

ALIEN: SCREEEEAAARGH!!!

*Retro knees ALIEN in the stomach causing him to spew fluids everywhere, Nintedofreak then fallows up with a right hook sending the ALIEN sprawled on the ground*

ALIEN: GRARGH!!

*The ALIEN whips his tail at Nintendofreak's face but it stops inches away. Nintendofreak opens his eyes to see a clean hole in the ALIEN stomach. The ALIEN falls over and an apple rolls from his hand. Off in the distance are 5 scary looking people. The first one on the left is a short, spiked green-hair, bandana wearing, cutlass slashing teen pirate. The second one on the right is a thin blonde girl wearing light blue and pink clothes, she holds a large spear. In the back to the left is a very large pirate who is completelly covered from top to bottom in armor, carrying a gattling gun. The fourth pirate in the back to the left is a tall, thin, blue haired, glasses wearing pirate draped in white robes and has a very thin and long blade at his hands. The fifth pirate in the middle is a tall pirate with muscular shoulders, he wears a black sailor's jacket, he has a scar on his left cheek, his golden eyes and burning red hair are a sight to see, this pertilucar pirate is addorned with several guns on his belt and inside his jacket, he smokes a ciggeret while his smoking pictol is held in Nintendofreak's direction.*

fifth pirate: You Nintendofreak?

Nintendofreak: Uh........Aye?

fifth pirate: 'Names Captain Blackheart, now unfortunatelly it's time for ya' to die

Nintendofreak: Really? My watch must be broken

Drake: Hah, that's a laugh, too bad you wont need that watch when the Earth blows up

Retro: Well that's kinda the reason why we're trying to get off this planet, death doesn't suit me well

Drake: I'm afraid I can't let ya' do that, we got specific orders to make you stay put until it's boom-time

Nintendofreak: How'd you get here anyway?

Drake: Legion has it's ways of-oh wait, damn...

Nintendofreak: Legion sent you?!

Drake: Yea well, can't have any blemishes on Warlord Clyde's plans ya' see

Retro: Well I'de love to stay here and chat but we have a planet to escape from, so if you dont mind *charges pixel energy into arm*

Drake: You'll have to get through us first

Retro: You read my mind

Nintendofreak: I'll take the hot one!

Fred: Hey guys.

Leaven: What.

Fred: I'm bored.

Leaven: Wasn't I in legion.

Fred: Perhaps you're gods have forsaken you.

Leaven: *Gets on intercom* CLYDE, CLYDE ARE YOU THERE?

???: No.

Leaven: Who are you?

Clyde: Oh hey man whats up.

Leaven: Clyde wasnt I a legion commander?

Clyde; Oh yeah. Hows operation Dessert Pineapple.

Leaven: What.

Clyde: Here we are, I have a new soldier for you to help you.

Fred: Hi clyde remember me?

Clyde: Oh god. Heres your soldier


* THe moniter goes blank. A young trooper stands up, appearing out of dust*

??: HELLO SIR!

Leaven: Err.

Fred: Heya there.

???: My name is 192odskaapldawuu2817271 but you can call me Jed.

Leaven: What are you a farmer.

Jed: Gollygosh no sir! I just joined Legio because clyde is so powerfull.

Leaven: Get me cofee.

Jed: We're in a sub sir...

Leaven: COFEEEE.

*Fontane time*

Fontane: New York bores me now, the city is mine.

Splicer: Sirrrrr may-may- mauybe you should progress further into the U.S?

Fontane: I like it.

*Fontane hops off his boat onto the city, and he begins to march towards the midwest with an ADAM ball charging in his right hand*

*Back to those guys. Retro gets hit with a left hook by the armored pirate who then proceeds to fire a bazillion bullets into Retro's chest who then gets several slashes in the back by the samurai pirate.*

Retro:UUUGH!

*Retro falls to the ground*

Armor Pirate: This prey doesn't post much of a challenge, eh Raphiel?

Raphiel: Indeed, Jarod

Jarod: It is not worth my time to deal with this larvea

Retro: Damn, these guys are tough! I think they might have actually given me a bruise!

Raphiel: You....Do know we heard you right?

Retro: What?! Damn! That was supossed to be in my head!

Rephiel holding his sword at Retro: Regardless, we must kill you now

Retro covering himself in pixels: Come try me!

*Retro dissapears and re-appears infront of Jarod where he grabs the gattling gun and fires away at Raphiel simply reflects the bullets with his sword*

Raphiel: You'll have to do better than that

Retro: Oh, am I?

*Jarod cmashes Retro into the ground, but it turns out to be a fake, the real Retro is behind Raphiel who doesnt have time to react when Retro roundhouse kicks him in the face, sending him soaring towards Jarod. Retro then re-appears behind Jarod and delivers a blow to his back sending him forward into Raphiel, knocking them out*

Retro: That was eas-*Gets tackled by cutlass pirate*

female pirate: Quit messing around Shanks!

Shanks: Well maybe you should help destroy the enemy, Amy

Nintendofreak: Or maybe you should both EAT PEPPERSPRAY!

*Nintendofreak jumps infront of Shanks and proceeds to spray mace into his eyes*

Shanks: Agh!! I can't seeee!!!!!

Nintendofreak: That's the point!

*Nintendofreak tosses the mace at Amy which sprays her in the face, then Nintendofreak gives a right hook to Shanks and dropkicks him into Amy, knocking them out*

Nintendofreak: Well that was easy

Retro: Alittle too easy......

*An electrified net falls on Retro and Nintendofreak*

Amy: Ha ha ha! You idiots! It was a trap! Heehee!

Drake: Take them aboard the ship

Nintendofreak: Well.........We're screwed.......

Retro: Hey, where's Fera?!

*Back in the shadows, Fera quietly fallows the pirates to their ship*

Leaven is on the ground inside the LEGO boat he totally jumped into mumbling about coffee until his new recruit rouses him from his sleep.

Recruit: Sir? Sir! Wake up; you're talking about coffee.

Leaven:...huh? Wait, who are you?

Recruit: I'm a new recruit, the CIA sent me down here to work under you.

Leaven: Oh, I thought I dreamed that. Why am I on the floor here?

Recruit: I think you hit your head when you totally jumped into this boat, sir.

Leaven: Ah, alright. What a weird dream, though. I dreamed I was working for Legion... bastards... and my new recruit was this weird little round pers- *he stops as he finally looks up at his new recruit and finds... KoD?!!!?! smiling eagerly as he awaits his commanding officer's... command*

Leaven: ...Right, anyway, I think we've spent enough time here. *sticks his head out of the boat* FRED... and I guess other Fred! GET OVER HERE! WE'RE LEAVING!

Fred: Okay, cmon, Fred.

Fred: *explodes*

Fred: NOOOOOOOO! I'VE LOST YOU AGAIIIIIIN! You! *points to GORE* You will be my new clone!

GORE: Yeah, okay.

Fred: Onward to space adventures!

They board the Lego boat along with El Mundo since he didn't wanna be left alone and for some reason it can blast off into space and they head for the CIA base which is also in space with Leaven behind the helm in a chair.

KoD: So, what am I supposed to do, sir?

Leaven: Well, some coffee would be nice.

KoD: *salutes* Aye, sir!

KoD goes over to the coffee maker that's on the boat and fixes Leaven a cup of coffee.

KoD: Here ya go, sir, one piping hot cup of coffe-EY! *trips over Fred's foot that was placed there on purpose*

The cup of coffee flies through the air in slow motion until it hits Leaven in the back of the head and then lands at the bottom of his seat behind his back. The coffee already spilled out of the cup prior to its contact with Leaven's head and just got the back of the chair wet. Leaven cries out in pain when this happens and temporarily loses control of the ship, which causes it to spiral crazily. Everyone is knocked around in a comical fashion until Leaven straightens it out. He calmly flips on the auto-pilot and walks up to KoD, who's lying on the ground from the turbulence and looks down at him.

Leaven: Jed... your name is Jed, yes?

KoD: Well, sorta, sir. That's more my middle name that a lot of people call m-

Leaven: Doesn't matter... Now then, GET OFF THIS SHIP!

KoD: Sir! I didn't mean to! This guy over here tripped me! *points at Fred who whistles innocently*

Leaven: I DON'T CARE! I'M DISCHARGING YOU FROM THE CIA! MOVE!

KoD: *whimper* k... *takes out his script and flips through it* Well, this'll have to do. *salutes* Pleasure serving you, sir... *cuts a portal and exits through it*

GORE: Kinda hard on him, huh?

Leaven: Shut up, my head was hurting enough before that happened.

Fred: Meanie.

GORE: Yeah, meanie!

Leaven: Silence!

GORE & Fred: MEEEEANIIIIIE!

Leaven: Bah... *goes back to his helm and switches the auto-pilot off*

Fred: ...meanie.

Leaven, without looking back, throws the empty coffee cup at Fred's head and knocks him out. When the thud of Fred's body sounded, Leaven smirks and continues piloting. GORE looks down at Fred in shock and then just looks straight ahead.

(cut to Retro and Mariorocks in captivity)

KoD's portal appears above them and he plops down beside them while the portal closes once more.

Retro: ...Who are you?

KoD: I don't care, I'm tagging along with you guys.

Mariorocks: We're captured, though

KoD: Still don't care.

Mariorocks: Hey wait, maybe you can use that portal you came through to help us escape.

KoD: Yeah, alright. *before he can cut a portal, another portal appears*

future KoD: Yeah, sorry, this is way too over-powered for this OG, you'll get it back when it's necessary *takes scythe and disappears into the closing portal*

KoD: Well, so much for that.

Retro: You're pretty much useless now, huh?

KoD: Not really, since neither of you know what Crash is or at least the way I use it, I'll skip that. However, I have lightning powers. Normally I can travel via lightning, but it's not working.

Mariorocks: Why not?

KoD: Probably because it's too over-powered for this OG. I can still use it to attack though, so... yeah. Anyway, like I said, I'll just tag along with you guys. It's better than any other alternative.