Storyteller: In one universe, blocks have been slowly falling from the sky onto the top of a skyscraper. Each block is consisted of four smaller blocks, and the building is as wide as sixteen of those smaller blocks.
Elsewhere, the Fanvers, AKA Golem, GM, Hyrule Harrier, Marin, Mario Jr., Podley, and Thrakun (alphabetical order, jerk!), are speeding through a warp pipe. They hop out into a janitor's closet.~

GM: A janitor's closet? She sent us home!

~Everyone is cramped and struggling for a way to get comfortable. Thrakun eventually busts the door down.~

Golem: There was a doorknob.

Thrakun: Shut up.

~They have fallen into an empty hallway. They hear loud noises above.~

MJ: What is this place?

GM: This cast is way too big!

~Hyrule Harrier has already started running up a nearby staircase.~

HH: Come on, everyone!

Golem: Wait for me!! ~dashes after~

GM: You don't want to go TOWARDS the noise! ~dashes after~

Thrakun: That elf won't do anything before I get there if he values his life! ~dashes after, along with MJ and Marin~

~They appear on top of the skyscraper. There's a helicopter off in the distance which is operated by two shiny, rendered spheres with arms and legs. They speak into a megaphone. Unfortunately the megaphone is impossible to make out over the noise of helicopter blades and blocks falling.~

GM: Holee, we've gotta get outta here!

MJ: ~looking over the side of the building~ There's no way we'd make it out before these blocks demolish the building. We must be at least 80 stories up!

Podley: I'll go get some help from those gents in the heli.

Golem: Wait... Tetris? This is Tetris!

~Golem tries to push one of the blocks, but to no avail.~

Golem: Thrakun, push this block! We can destroy the blocks!

Thrakun: Ye know what ye're doing, lad?!

Golem: We just need to form a solid line of those blocks!

~Thrakun punches the block near Golem to the left, and it slides down, filling a hole and filling one horizontal line of 16 small blocks. Nothing happens.~

Golem: Er...

~Hyrule Harrier shoots the line, and the entire horizontal line of blocks disappears. He tries shooting the other blocks, but to no avail--it only works on solid horizontal lines.~

GM: Wait! The warp pipe!

Golem: In the closet?

~a giant Tetrimino Block falls in front of the closet~

Marin: Well this is great, I guess we'll just die here.

~however, just by luck that block suddenly dissapears thanks to a Tetrimino block falling next to it. The groups quickly huddles into the closet and jump through the warp pipe. It tries to send them back to Zelda World, but sees that it's been closed up, so spits them out somewhere else~

~the group are thrown onto a soft fluffy surface. After gathering their wits, they realize the surface is quite cloud like because it is a cloud.~

Marin: We must be in Sky Land!

MJ: Well since we are no longer in mortal peril... *clears throat* WHY THE HECK AM I A PIG!?

Marin: Well um....

GM: Your mom has the hots for Ganon. Tough break.

MJ: Then how come she hasn't changed!? *points at Marin*

Golem: She took after her mother? I dunno.

~Before they can further debate it, a procession of angels flying overhead, they are all armed for combat. The group watch to see where they go and see that the angels fly into a horrible mess of monsters which have no problem at all taking out all the angels and killing them and so forth~

Thrakun: Ae wish I'd been there for that fight.

~Just then a HORRIBLE TERRIBLE WOMAN with SNAKE HAIR and a horrible face and so forth steps out in front of the monsters~

Ugly Woman: Onward, we take the Sky Palace and defeat Palutena!

Monsters: RIGHT!

~the monsters start passing by 'the Gang' ignoring them, except for an Eggplant looking one who sees MJ~

Eggplant: You there, what are you standing about for?

MJ: Um.

Eggplant: Medusa! We got a slacker!

~the whole army stops. The ugly woman, Medusa, makes her way back~

Medusa: Well, what is it Eggwin?

Eggwin: *points at MJ* He's not marching.

Medusa: Listen you, we're going to take over Angel Land and that's that, got it?

MJ: Um.

Medusa: GOT IT!? *snakes in her hair start hissing*

MJ: Yes. o_o

Medusa: Good. ONWARD!

~The army, along with MJ, marches past 'the Gang' and dissapears into the distance~

Golem: This all seems familiar.

Marin: They took my brother!

Thrakun: *stroking beard* I can see why he was so obedient.

HH: I know, she's hideous and terrifying!

Thrakun: Eh? Who? That Medusa lass was a sight, she was! If I were still a lad , I'd been smitten with her too.

GM: .... you frighten me.

Podley: Off to the next world now, wot wot?

HH: Well... We should probably rescue MJ.

Golem: I thought I was supposed to be the moral compass for the team.

HH: Well excuuuuuuuuse me, Mr. Perfect.

Marin: Tch! Forget MJ! I'm tired of his ass anyways.

Golem: But, he's your brother.

Marin: I said forget him! I have better things to do.

Golem: Like what?

Marin: Like looking for a lighter. My candle's out.

Podley: Miss Marin, are you daft! Surely that candle can not be your top priority.

Marin: Hey! This candle's important too! It's pretty... Besides, there's no point in looking for my brother. He'll just pop right back up as if nothing happened. Just as soon as our creator makes a post.

Thrakun: I beg ye pardon lass, but this be ye creator's post.

Marin: Oh. Well fine! Let's go look for my stupid brother.

Palutena: Like, Medusa is totally attacking Angel Land OMG! I like need my army of angels now!

Medusa: MWA HA HA HA! I've already kidnapped your army of angels and locked them all away in the Underworld!

Palutena: Like, oh snap. ~is kidnapped~

~The fanvers arrive TOO LATE! as Medusa and her army drag Palutena away. However, Palutena notices one of the gang...~

Palutena: Like, Pit!

Golem: Huh?

Palutena: Pit, you totally like escaped and stuff!

Golem: Huh?

Medusa: WHAT?! One of your angels escaped?! Seize them!

~MJ tries to "seize them", but is held back as a group of Kobils step up instead.~

Group: Aieee?

~With the last of her strength, Palutena sends them bows and arrows. Everyone throws them away except for Golem.~

***

Pit: Siiittin' in a dungeon. Waaaittin' for my break.

Guard: Shut up.

***

~The group collects the hearts of the dead Kobils because Golem told them to and I was too lazy to write a fight scene.~

Golem: The more hearts we collect, the more our strength grows!

Thrakun: These'uns be mae kind oo' haert!

Marin: Icky.

HH: Hey guys, where's that creepy jellyfish thing that's always following us around?

GM: Podley? Dunno.

***

~Podley puts the moves on a Komayto.~

Podley: I say, I have... ~flips through notebook... somehow~ "hot pants" for you.

Komayto: ~smacks him~

Podley: Didn't I use it right?!

~The group start looking about for Podley, but notice a secret room and walk in it~

Golem: Man, it sure is dark and creepy in here.

????: SILENCE MORTALS. BEND YOUR KNEE TO YOUR ALMIGHTY LORD OF JUSTICE.

Marin: Ack, who is that?

????: I AM THE BRINGER OF JUSTICE, THE DELIVERER OF PUNISHMENT, THE NAYSAYER TO EVIL.

Thrakun: Aye! I know ye, how are ye, Odin?

????: O-ODIN!? NO, I AM THE GREAT ZEUS!

~suddenly a huge face shows up in front of them. It's featureless and has burning eyes~

Golem: Oh great Zeus, please upgrade my bow and arrow so that I might smite evil on a more regular basis!

GM: Wow, that's a new low for you Golem.

HH: This is so blasphemous against the goddesses.

Zeus: OH. YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE PALUTENA TYPES. I HATE HER SO MUCH. ALWAYS STEALING MY THUNDER AND HIDING THE REMOTE.

Golem: No no no, I think you're the man! I mean god!

Marin: Where is that old man smell coming from? *opens up a curtain in the back of the room, where an old man with a old man mustache is operating a series of levers and switches*

Zeus: PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN... OH NEVERMIND.

~the old man steps out and the giant face dissapears~

Zeus: I'm the real Zeus, a crotchety old man. So you want to be a better archer, boy?

Golem: Yes, please!

Zeus: Well forget it! I'm the ultimate god, but I managed to get outclassed by Palutena just because she's more popular. I'm not bothering with a bunch of tools like you, so get!

Thrakun: *glares* Ye're no Odin.

Zeus So?

Thrakun: If ye were Odin, ye'd have a beard, an eyepatch... and wouldnae be such a coward!

Zeus: ...

~the groups leave the DARK ROOM~

GM: Is it just me, or did he totally look like Mark Twain?

Golem: I think we're going to have to head to the underworld, it's the only way to find MJ, save Palutena, and have lots of neato adventures!

Marin: We could just wait around, I'm sure there's somebody they hire to do this sort of thing.

HH: Usually that's me.

Marin: BESIDES you.

HH: Oh.

(Meanwhile, in Underworld, MJ was doing the only things he could do right... bake a delicious cake for Medusa's Army in honor of their victory. The monsters all dig in without any haste.)

Eggwin:Ah! That cake sure hit the spot!

Medusa: It seems you're useful after all, peon. I guess I don't have to kill you after all.

MJ: *wipes the sweat off his brow* My mom's recipe came in handy afterall...

Medusa: The flavor... I can't quite put my finger on it but it's very interesting. May I ask what you put in it.

MJ: Well just the usual stuff: egg, milk, cake mix, a pinch of sugar, chocolate--

Monsters in Unison: CHOCOLATE!

Collin: Fool! The Goddess Medusa is highly allergic to chocolate!

(Medusa starts hyperventilating and turning green... er, greener.)

Eggwin: He's trying to poison our Queen! SEIZE HIM!

(The monsters all get up out of their seats and charge after MJ.)

MJ: Gah! *makes a run for it*

~Minutes Later~

(MJ gets hurled into a dark cell and the door slams shut behind him.)

MJ: Gah! First I get turned into a pig. Now this! This is no way for royalty to be treated...

(MJ gets up and brushes himself off. That's when he notices he's not alone in the cell.)

MJ: Hi there! My name's MJ! what's yours?

Pit: Pit. So... what are you in for?

~Golem, GM, Hyrule Harrier, Marin, Podley, and Thrakun arrive at the gates to the Underworld. A young woman sits just inside the gate, staring out of it.~

GM: Hey, can you let us--

~Thrakun slaps his hand over GM's mouth.~

Thrakun: The lass is on the enemy's side.

GM: I dunno, she looks nice enough to me...

~By now, Golem and Hyrule Harrier have already climbed over the gates. A previously unseen three-headed dog--Cerberus--now bounds towards the two.~

Golem: It's smitin' time!

Thrakun: Hey!!

~Thrakun takes his axe to the lock on the gates, which is ineffective. He quickly starts climbing over to join the others, followed by Podley, GM, and Marin.

Golem nails one or two arrows on Cerberus' torso while Link shoots blasts all over Cerberus. The dog takes the damage in stride, however, and jumps right at Golem and Li--Hyrule Harrier. Golem and Link dodge to opposite sides while Thrakun comes down hard with his ax. The ax gets lodged in Cerberus' neck, and before Thrakun can get it out fully, Cerberus charges like a bull for Golem and Link again. Golem and Link book it. Cerberus eventually catches up, but Marin tosses her mallet at one of Cerberus' hind legs to trip him up. Cerberus focuses on Marin until HH steals it back with a few blasts, and Golem and HH are running again.

Eventually, they reach Medusa's headquarters. Golem and HH open up the doors, but instantly seeing all of the minions inside, they leap out of the doorway and out of the way of the charging Cerberus, who busts the doors open fully. Just as this happens, Thrakun removes the axe and leaps off of Cerberus.

Golem and Link shut the doors tight and the gang runs quickly around the outside of the headquarters, looking for a better entrance point. They hear calls and, recognizing the calls, stop near the barred window of a dungeon cell.~

MJ: Guys! You gotta get me outta here!

~The gang examines the wall behind which MJ is imprisoned. Then they examine some more. Then some more. Some more.~

Golem: Can't you eat through the wall, or something?

Thrakun: I dinnae enjoy the taste oo metal, lad.

Golem: I guess we could always just perform the usual sneak-in-and-clumsily-try-to-find-this-room-without-being-caught-ourselves maneuver.

GM: Oh yes, that's brilliant. Nevermind the fact that there's thousands of monsters and a giant POed dog in there thanks to us.

Marin: I think we should just leave him.

MJ: Hey!

Marin: He doesn't do anything useful. He's annoying. He keeps hitting on Link.

MJ: ~sniffle~

HH: The way he looks, I find it hard to restrain myself from sending him back to the Evil Jar. ~lightbulb~ Heyyy... if I zap him, he'll go back to the Evil Jar. Then we can just go back to Hyrule's Underworld and pick him up.

Golem: But Zelda won't let us go back to Hyrule anyway.

Thrakun: Who be given a blinkin' beard 'bout what that woman wants?

Golem: Either way, it seems a bit risky. Even we can't jump that high, so I guess we could just have Podley fly up to the window and--

GM: Nobody cares, but Podley's gone again.

Golem: Oh snap.

***

Podley: I say, my dear. I was quite the frivilous sort back in my day, you see.

Komayto: . . .

Podley: I've had a few "romps in the rice" myself, you might say.

Komayto: ~smacks him~

Podley: Did I say something wrong, wot?

***

~As the gang ponders, the girl from the gate walks up. They notice that she looks very similar to Karen from Harvest Moon (because I am totally fixated on her), but with a white robe and angel wings.~

GM: Medusa's spy!

Thrakun: WOMAN!

~Thrakun charges at the girl, but she flies up just out of his range (which sadly isn't that high), making him even angrier.~

Girl: What, may I ask, are you doing?

GM: Why should we tell Medusa's spy?!

Thrakun: ~calms down~ Aye, if'n ye be workin' foor Medusa, do yeh think I could be gettin' her phone number? For, uh...

Girl: I don't work for Medusa.

Thrakun: ~grumbles~

Girl: I escaped from the cell I was being held in and was waiting for Palutena to come rescue me. Or for Medusa to leave so that I could sacrifice myself in vain. ~shrugs~ You five dress oddly.

Marin: ~is offended that Thrakun never tries to attack her. No really~ Why don't you just shut up and go wait for that goddess lady some more.

Golem: Palutena got kidnapped.

Girl: Oh. Were you coming to rescue her?

Golem: No. Him. ~points to MJ~

Girl: That shouldn't be hard. ~pulls out... AN EGGPLANT WIZARD'S WAND~ If you don't mind, I'm just going to use this on him quick. He can squeeze out, and then I'll change him back. Then you can help me.

Golem: Sounds fine.

GM: What does it do?

Girl: Nothing overly harming.

Pit: ~suddenly pops up at the window next to MJ~ Hey! Hey Keira! Wait wait don't free him! Free me! Free--

~The girl (Keira) hits MJ with the wand and turns him into an eggplant. Pit furiously tries to eat MJ, but MJ jumps out the window without even thinking about his landing and finds it quite hard.~

MJ: Ow.

Keira: ~turns him back as wand disintegrates~ Now if you'll just help me save Palutena?

GM: Screw you. Let's go, guys.

HH: Hey hey, Golem gave his word.

GM: His word, not ours.

HH: Well excuuuuse me, GM. But we should help her anyway.

Thrakun: (And I caen be puttin' the mooves on my ol' Medusy, aye.)

~The gang follows Keira around the palace in search of another entrance.~

Pit: Hrmph.

Pit: Hey! Hey! HEY! What about me?

(The gang keeps walking not hearing him.)

Pit: Hey weird looking Man-girl!

Marin: *whips around* Man-girl! Why I oughtta!

Pit: You are a daughter of Man aren't you?

(Marin walks over and kneels by the prison bars.)

Marin: Oh, well I guess so.

Pit: Our kind is meant to live in harmony with Man. We have always served protect them and help them anyway we can. No won't you do the same for me.

Marin: Well I guess it's my Catholic duty to help one of God's choir members out.

Pit: Yes. Um, which God?

GM: Marin! Move it or lose it!

Marin: Alright I'm coming!

(While Marin was distracted, Pit snatches Marin's necklace off her neck.)

Marin: Hey! My Star Crystal! Give that back!

Pit: No you'll have to save me.

Marin: Why you sneaky little devil!

Pit: Aw, I love you too, cutie.

Marin: You better hope I don't find you in there.

(That said Marin runs up to catch up with the rest of the gang. As soon as they find a way in, Marin sneaks off from the rest of the group since they were obviously distracted by how ugly the new girl was.)

GM: Man, that new girl is hot!

HH: Yeah, but not as hot as my Zelda.

MJ: I could sure go for a pizza right about now...Maybe ten boxes. *rubs stomach*

(Anyways, Marin eventually finds Pit's cell. Psh! Like it was hard! Seeing Pit in his cell Marin was surprised to find that he was not like the cute little cherub she had pictured him to be but rather a strapping young man who's bare chest was scarred by countless battles. Marin fought to control herself.)

Pit: The key's on the sleeping guard's belt.

(Marin looks at the giant monster slauched over in the corner snoring up a storm.)

Marin: You gotta be joking!

Pit: SHHHH!

Marin: Alright....

(Marin walks over and takes the keys.)

Marin: That was easy.

Pit: Now open the gate.

Marin: First my Star Crystal.

Pit: If you insist.

(Pit holds out the Star Crystal through the prison bars. As soon as Marin grabs the crystal Pit seizes her by the hand and locks her in the most heated, passionate kiss she ever had. Marin's heart fluttering about her chest like a trapped butterfly trying to escape her rib cage.)

Marin: *swoons*

Pit: Now. Open the gate.

Marin: Whatever you say.

(Marin unlocks the gate but instead of letting him go she tackles on him to the ground.)

Pit: Hey!

Marin: *ACTUALLY purrs agianst Pit's chest*

Pit: I guess I used too much Kiss...

~The group, currently minus Marin and Podley, enter another mysterious room~

Keira: Oh good, these are treasure pots. We can-

Group: TREASURE POTS!?

~they start to bash the pots and steal the stuff~

Keira: Wait, one of thos has the-

GM: *smashes pot* Aha- huh?

~a small slender figure with a skeleton face and a robe on looks up at him~

????: Woe unto you, for now you are POOR!

GM: Who the heck are you?

????: I am... The God Of Poverty. Fear me, mortals!

~the groups crowds around him~

Golem: Aren't you a bit small to be a god?

GoP: What!? Small!? I'm not small, you're all abnormally large!

MJ: Actually I think you're just small. Tiny really. The kind of god you could carry around in your pocket. A... iGod if you would.

HH: Wow, double blasphemy.

Thrakun: He's an electrical contraption then!? DIE!

GoP: Wait, stop that! You can't hurt me, it's against the rules!

Keira: He's right. He has every right to do this, we're not allowed to attack him.

GM: Psh, who cares about the rules. *grabs GoP and shoves him against the wall* Listen punk, we want money. Lots of money. And you're gonna pay up, got it?

GoP: Okay, okay! I will, I'm sorry! *pulls out wallet* Do you guys take credit?

MJ: They have credit cards here?

Keira: *shrugs* Palutena's idea.

GM: *looks at card* "Underworld Express, It's Nowhere You Want To Be". Convenient... I guess. *drops GoP* Okay buddy, you're off the hook. This time. But if I see you again, I swear I'll-

GoP: I get it, I get it! Just don't hurt me, it makes me sad!

~they all leave the room and are reunited with Marin, who has brought along Pit~

Keira: Oh. You brought him.

Pit: I can't believe you left me behind!

Keira: Oh shut up.

Marin: You're just jealous!

Keira: As if.

Marin: Bring it!

GM:

~before an OMG catfight can break out, Podley flies overhead with a Komayto~

Podley: Cheerio, old boys! Look who I-

Pit: KOMAYTO, ARGH! *rolls in the sand, looks up, and fires an arrow straight through the Komayto, killing it*

Podley: KAMMY!!!! *falls to the ground and holds the remains of the Komayto... somehow* Don't leave me... please, I love you. Please.... *a single tear falls... somehow*

Pit: Another one, I'll get it-

Thrakun: *puts axe up to Pit's neck* Not if ye value your life, lad.

Podley: *turns on Pit* You! You killed my only love, you bloody bastard!

Pit: B-b-but...

Marin: He didn't know!

Podley: You would take his side.

Golem: I'm sure if we all come down we can just-

Podley: I WILL RIP OUT YOUR SPINE, SUCK ON YOUR FLUIDS, BANISH YOU TO THE DEEPEST PITS OF THE NETHERWORLD WHERE I WILL PROCEED TO FEED ON YOUR FLESH DAILY, LEAVING YOU TO FEAST ON A DIET OF BLOODWORMS AND THORNS. EVERY SECOND FOR YOU WILL BE A LIVING NIGHTMARE YOU FILTHY WINGED DEVIL!

*GM and HH are barely able to hold Podley back*

HH: Calm down, jellyfish thing!

Podley: Never! NEVER!

~just then, a huge minotaur walks up to them~

Minotaur: I know this is a bad time, but I really have to kill you all right now. Sorry.

Golem: Daedalus is a really irresponsible guy!

~Golem and Pit start firing arrows, which the Minotaur merely crushes under his hooves. This gives Thrakun a chance to come at the Minotaur with his axe, but the Minotaur ducks under Thrakun and kicks up his hind legs to kick Thrakun aside. This gives Golem , Pit, and Hyrule Harrier time to score solid hits on the Minotaur.

In the meantime, GM has heard a woman's faint yells from one of the cells and is trying to unlock it. GM swipes Marin's mallet (she has one of those, right???) and hurls it at the cell door, swinging it wide open. GM doesn't find the woman, but instead, a staircase.~

GM: C'mon, I think I found Palutena's cell!

~GM starts down the staircase, followed by Marin, Keira, Hyrule Harrier, Thrakun, Golem, Pit, and finally Podley. Near the bottom of the staircase, Podley latches onto Pit's head, and Pit tries to remove him, but only falls down the rest of the stairs in the process, knocking down everyone else, too.~

Pit: GET... GET IT OOOFFFFF...

~Keira turns Pit into an eggplant and Podley loses his grip. GM spots Palutena, who sits in a corner, shackled to the wall.~

GM: Thrakun! Lend me a hand over here!

~Thrakun uses his axe to break the chains binding Palutena to the wall.~

Hyrule Harrier: Podley! Get a grip! You were too cultured for her anyway.

Podley: Wot?

HH: Yeah. She looked about ready to hold a Zebesian Tea Party, if you know what I mean.

GM: What?! How could you possibly make an American history reference?

Thrakun: Less talking more acting!

~Thrakun charges up the stairs, and everyone catches on quickly and charges up with him. The Minotaur is surprised and utterly creamed by the mass of people that charge him. Then the gang rushes forward only to see--~

Medusa: There's no escape for you now!!

~--Medusa and her minions behind her.~

Thrakun: Ye know just what to say...

~Pit leaps forth out of the mash pit of the gang, fluttering his wings to lower gravity and shooting arrows at Medusa as he floats towards her.~

Podley: The boy hates love, doesn't he?!

~Just as Pit passes over Thrakun, Thrakun slaps Pit to the side.~

Thrakun: M'luv... please excuse the lad's behavior. He cannae appreciate true beauty like I can.

Pit: SHE'S A DEMON!

Golem: So Hyrule was saved when Peach and Ganon hooked up... and now Angel Land is going to see eternal peace because Thrakun and Medusa have a thing for each other?

Thrakun: I heard that, and no, lad. I'd only want to plunder Angel Land beside my love.

GM: ~whispering to the others~ Close enough, Palutena's safe, can we just get out of here while Thrakun acts as an ample distraction?

~Suddenly, an "L" tetris block (about one Thrakun tall) falls through the roof and lands imbetween Thrakun and Medusa.~

HH: Heyy!!

Golem: The... the pipe? You think they're falling here through the pipe we took to get here??

(High above the Palace, Tetris pieces were still from the warpipe in the sky, forming a huge wall that was now crushing the Palace under it's massive weight.)

Golem: This place looks like it's about to cave in!

GM: Okay, that's our que to go.

HH: Guys! I found another Warp Pipe!

('The gang plus Kiera start jumping into the pipe as the wall between them and Medusa continued to grow as the tetis peices piled up. Unfortunately Pit was on the otherside of the wall.)

Marin: PIT!

(Marin rushes over to Pit's hand outstretched between two "L" pieces. Marin grabs his hand tearfully.)

Pit: Forget about me, Daughter of Man. I'll hold off Medusa while you guys escape.

Marin: I won't leave you! ...I love you...

MJ: Okay sis. Time to go.

(MJ picks up Marin like a football and is the last to jump through the pipe.)

Pit: *turns to Medusa* It has come down to this.

Medusa: So it has. You will die, boy, for foiling my plans.

Palutena: Like, he's not alone.

Pit: Palutena! You should've gone to safety by now.

Palutena: Like, no biggie, Pit. I totally got this under control. *turns to Medusa* Okay girl friend! It's time we settled the score. *holds up spear and mirror sheild*

Medusa: *grins* Let's.

Storyteller: And thus Medusa was defeated, Pit was promoted, and never got another game again. Except for Kid Icarus 2, but some filthy devils forget that it exists and never mentions them and I think I'll tear out their eyes and- oh, sorry. Anyways, the 'Fanvers' jump into the warp pipe and a swirling vortex appears before spitting them out on a whole world! So let's get that going, yeah?

~Golem and Podley arrive first for some reason~

Golem: Brrrr! This place is frigidly cold!

Podley: Quite... right... I... say... *falls over solid*

~the next is Thrakun~

Thrakun: *deep breath* AYE! I love that cold air! I feel like I'mae two hundred again.

Golem: Podley sort of fell over.

~Marin and Keira come out next~

Keira: What happened, where am I, where is Palutena!?

Marin: Oh hush, you'll get used to it.

Keira: *huddles up and rocks self*

~GM, MJ, and HH all fall out last~

GM: How come we came out last? That makes no sense.

MJ: Brrrr... hey look, I got two little foggy clouds coming out of my snout! Awesome! *blows out of pig nose, making two individual clouds due to the cold weather*

HH: That's just weird.

Golem: Guys, Podley is dead or something.

Marin: Good riddance, he hurt my poor Pit...

Thrakun: Ae be seeing a cave just ahead, lads. We can buiild a fire and warm up.

~They do so and Podley comes around, but refuses to talk and just sulks about his poor Kammy~

HH: Well we haven't slept in one whole OG, so I say we finally do that.

Keira: I want to go home.

Golem: That doesn't seem to happen much, sorry.

~BUT JUST THEN, a ship lands outside~

~a lone figure walks out~

???: *looks at arm* Well this is the place, but I don't see any Metroids...

Thrakun: *steps out* Ye better not come any closer!

???: *points arm cannon at Thrakun, which makes it obvious she is Samus, so let's just get that out of the way* Who are you?

Golem: *steps out* *narrows eyes* We're the Video Game Goers.

GM: The WHAT!? That's the lamest name EVER.

Golem: Sorry...

Samus: You lost me.

~another figure steps out*

???: What's going on?

Samus: Don't worry about it, honey. Just some stupid campers, it looks like.

???: Campers? On Tallon IV?

Samus: In Phendrana no less.

Marin: D-dad!?

???: Eh?

~Indeed, ??? is Mario, only in a robotic suit that looks like his normal outfit, but is all metallic and shiny and stuff~

GM: *snaps fingers* I get it! Marin is human because she's the daughter of Mario and SAMUS, not Ganon and Peach.

Mario: Who's Ganon?

~a long bunch of explanation happens that nobody wants to read~

Thrakun: So why are ye here, then?

Samus: We detected a Metroid.

HH: Oh, you mean the jellyfish guy? He's sleeping or something.

Samus: I'll just go kill him and then-

Golem: No, he's our friend!

Samus: ... fine, but you keep him in check. If the new Space Pirate leader finds out there's another Metroid out there...

GM: What new Space Pirate leader? I mean... nothing happens in the timeline of the games until Metroid Fusion and then-

Samus: ... what?

GM: Sorry, go on.

Samus: Some time ago, the Space Pirates picked up a strange fellow and made him their leader.

Mario: A fellow called 'B102'.

Golem: B102?! Did you say B102?!

Mario: Yeah.

Golem: What the--I can't believe it!

~At that instant, the ground beneath Golem shakes. He looks around, startled, and then an area around him drops into the ground. Before he can react, he's sent down a tunnel into the ground. The only light source in this tunnel comes from the pen covered in rubber bands that's in the breast pocket of his shirt.

When he lands, the chamber he lands in is pitch black.~

Golem: OW!!

~However, after a few seconds, the place lights up. Golem takes out the pen and the place gets brighter.~

Thrakun: ~shouting down the hole~ Boy! What is it?!

Golem: Come down here!

~Before Golem is an altar, and on the altar is a rubber band. He picks it up.~

Golem: I'm sure this makes tons of sense.

Rubber Band: Finally! You must help me or the entire universe is doomed!

Golem: Holy cheese, it talks!

Rubber Band: Yip. Name's Quezopholgifoduhgokepeaches McDuff. Quez for short! I'm one of the bonds that holds the universe together!

Golem: ...Okay.

Quez: B102 stole me away and hidden me here for some reason, at the end of a dungeon filled with the strongest, most cheapest bosses ever! How'd you get past them?

Golem: Well, I sort of fell through that hole.

Quez: ...Oh. That was easy. Wonder why no one ever tried that before.

Golem: Probably because it wasn't programmed into the game to work like that.

Quez: Back on topic! It is vital that you return me to my proper place! If even one universal bond is missing, it may mean the end of all existence! Or at least that's what I was told.

(Topside...)

GM: I have to be honest. I'm getting sick of these old school Nintendo worlds. If I have to be in some self-insert fanfiction, I want a little diversity.

Marin: Diversity? This space world and the last one aren't diverse enough?

GM: Why can't we visit worlds from Sony or X-Box games?

Samus: ...Don't ever say those names around me again.

GM: Aren't you suppose to be a mute?

Samus: Not in Fusion.

GM: And did anyone actually play Fusion?

Samus: Yes!

GM: Besides, the last world we visited was Kid Icarus! I want to avoid going to a place like that again! Kid Icarus was lame!

(Akward silence)

GM: So what's taking Golem so long?