Well, I think I've discovered Vorpal was doing as a kid. That's right, Burger King mascot.

[EDIT It was all Gamefreak's doing, he thought it up.]

Vorpals so ashamed he isn't even looking at him.

Then again, Kid Vid isn't looking at Vorpal either.

Maybe they're just TOO COOL

This is completely outrageous! It's such a ridiculous accusation that I will not even address it..... except for what I'm addressing right now....

Me thinketh he protesteth too much.

Assuming this bunk was even close to true, look at the hair! Why would I have different colored hair at different ages? It's not like I'd dye my hair to try to escape the mistakes of my past or anything.

If it's not your past, maybe it's A VISION OF YOUR FUTURE.

Obviously you died your hair while you were a kid because 'blonde is cool'. Afterwards you got the goatee and it just didn't work for you anymore.

Okay... then... uhm... uh... explain why the use of technology declines in later years!

Well known fact that old people don't know how to use technology.

Holy schnozz!

Well, the whole hair thing is simple. I'm a good example, actually. When I was young, I had Nazi blonde hair. As I got older, it got darker. So there.

Vorpal the Kid.

Kid Vid Bothered me, when I was a kid. It was directed to my demographic so shoddily that it had a reverse effect.

My mom had blonder hair when she was a kid, but then she magically turned into a brunette over time.

So, did you ever score with any of the chicks at the Kids' Club?

No. That opportunity ended the day he beat the wheelchair kid in a cheeseburger-eating contest.

After that, nobody would go near him.