This is the tale of a young boy who wanted nothing more than to live a normal life. But, through a strange twist of fate, He found himself on a journey that would be classified as fiction right off the bat. But, I assure you, this is 100% true.

It starts off like any other tale. Phil, our story's main character, was just heading to the local McMeaties to get a meat sandwich and a Diet Poop Cola. While standing in line behind this large Albanian woman with offensive body odor, he decided to just glance around the room. He saw, at a nearby table, the little brat, Joey, that he had to babysit over the Summer. He was deliberately disobeying his parents. Joey settled down, but Phil could see that he was planning something. Phil payed no attention. He decided To look one more time, just to see what the little brat was doing, and was greeted with a Meatie Meal toy in the eye. Phil stumbled around for a while, eventually going outside for some fresh air while still holding his hand over his eye. He walked out into the street and was immediately hit by a car. He awoke several months later, from a coma, and found himself lying in the middle of a circus somewhere in Wyoming. He was then attacked by a deranged circus midget and a trapeze person with badgers gnawing at his face. Phil looked on in horror.

AND THEN TEH WORLD ASPLODE LOL

TBC

plz some1 continue my AOL online timer expires soon

phil & jon walked in the forest but then OMEGA comes and jumps in front of them

"phil yoyu gota use your laser" (BTW PHIL HAS MORE POWERS THAN ANYEONE ELSE BUT SOMETIMES HE HAS TO SERCH TO FIND THEM OK SO HE CANT KILL EVERYTHING STRAIT AWAY)

"phil" said phil "LASER!"

omega was blasted into forest

tbc

I'm sorry. Though, I'm sure, This is all my fault for putting Newbie in the title, I was just telling you that I was a newbie at creating OGs. Please, write your posts as if you were writing a post for an OG by someone like Nintenfreak, Masamune, or especially Luigi of the Pipes. He is the best OGer of them all. Thank you.

Phil went into shock and began to think. "You know," he thought, "I should refinance my house. And but more money into stocks and bonds"

By the time he woke up he was missing his lower left leg.

"Oh bother!"

Phil was rshed immediately to the hospitial, where, after extensive surgery, they were able to greate a lifelike prosthesis, and by that I mean, they totally screwed over his leg. Look at it. It was a Saltine Box.

Phil said to himself, "Well, I guess the only thing for me to do is make some soup."

So he did, and it was marvelous.

And using the crackers from his leg and the soup in his bowl, Phil had a marvelous dinner... until he realized he was supposed to meet the girl of his dreams three hours ago. Cursing his luck and the vengeful writers who had deteriorated his life into a pointless drama, he decided to end it all with a well placed salmon to the head. So he took out his fishing line and tackle box and prepared to go do some fishing.

When he gets to lake though, he finds that someone else is already there. And that someone was none other than his freakishly large cousin from a small town in the northern reaches of Ireland, Walter.

"Ello Phil," said Walter as he pulled forth bike wheel from his inside coat pocket. "Say hello to my little friend."

I had nowhere to run to.

Phil then took a nearby woodchuck, pulled off it's tail, and threw it at Walter. Kablaam! Walter "asplode". Phil then took off running to get away from the angry family of woodchucks chasing him. He was still running when he ran into a giant, robot chicken. The chicken was mumbling something through its rusty lips.

Since Phil was an educated man he was able to catch that the giant robotic chicken was mumbling in a language that was a mixture of Italian and Pig-latin.

A name tag on the front of the giant robitic chicken's aluminum shirt said, "Hello, my name is Goblor"

Phil asked the chicken," Can you speak English?"

the chicken said,"yes"

"so your name is Goblor? That is a strange name."

"Actually, It's ChickeTron 2.0. This is my roommate's shirt."

"Oh, I was wondering why a chicken would be called Goblor. Now it makes sense."

If there was one thing that Phil was, it was two things. The first of those two things was a man. The second, however, was a ninja. Though being hit by a car had temporarily erased all memories of this former pastime, something in the back of his head clicked after conversing with a giant robotic chicken named ChickeTron 2.0 wearing his roommate's shirt causing Phil to go on a sudden rush of blood karate chopping spree all through town. By the time he had exited out the other side of town, behind him lay only rubble and the faint odour of cherry lipgloss.

Little did Phil know, that in his episode of blind rage and fury, he accidnently knocked down Humpty-Dumpty, one of the king's good friends. Try as they might, the all of the king's horses and all of the king's men could not put him back together again.

Maddened by grief, the king issued a reward for the one who bought in Phil's head.

Phil, being the educated suicidal ninja he was, went to the king as soon as he heard about the reward on his head. He ran through each of the eight closed windows in the king's throne room and dashed up to the king, then asked, "Hello, I'm here about the bounty on my head."

The king, whose name no one knew, said "Bloop!"

"Curses!" Phil yelled the instant he heard the king say this, for this meant that the king's self-destruct system had gone off for one reason or another. Phil ran from the king as fast as possible, weaving imbetween the the stacks of cooling pies left on the floor. Since the windows were already broken, Phil decided not to run through them again. But phate struck when one malicious banana peel placed itself under Phil's right foot. Phil succumbed to unfriction and gravity kicked in, ripping Phil's cracker box leg out from under him and forcing him to race through his tax forms, lest he get caught by the explosion bursting forth from where the king was.

Phil escaped, barely. Unfortunately, It had done something terrible! He now had a peg leg, instead of a sardine can, and an eyepatch. This actually helped sooth his eye from the mishap in post #1. Well, it now seemed that he was a pirate ninja, and was in need of a parrot. He went to the local pet shop. The only thing close to a parrot was a penguin. He gave the penguin a purple top hat and a cigarrette. He named the penguin Burt Ward. Burt was very happy with his top hat and cigarrette.