TV Reporter: This is Eightch 2 Oerson of the Gamehiker News Network reporting to you live from Boston, where the McCloaker Administration's Super Villain Task Force has just brought in one of the country's most notorious criminals, Don Giovanni of Team Rocket. I have with me here James Bird on the situation. What are your thoughts?

James Bird: Giovanni has plagued the country for nearly ten years, but went largely overlooked by the previous administration, who dismissed him as a madman imitating the villain from a beloved children's cartoon series. Today we make a firm stance against criminality by putting him away. No longer will Boston be the "Rocketsville III". We're taking back this city and the country.

Eightch: And what about reports of an errant cell group still on the loose... a Team Rocket Omega?

James Bird: We have no comment on that matter at this time.

Eightch: And there you have it. President McCloaker continues to take a firm stance on the war against crime and terrorism. Currently in Iraq, plans are-

~the television is shut off, ending the television report inside of an apartment in the heart of some city~

Vorpal: Stupid Ditto!

Misty: Are you still moping about that? You're only 24, you couldn't have run anyways.

Vorpal: He's only 28! Besides, he spent some of those years DEAD!

Misty: So did I.

Vorpal: Besides. My counterpart in the Neutral Timeline became president at 16! SIXTEEN, Misty!

Misty: Yes, shortly after he killed my counterpart, right?

Vorpal: *cough* Uh, right. All I'm saying is, Ditto is ruining my life. Heck, whenever I go out in the Vorp-Tank, there's never any crime to stop. Why just last night...



Misty: So you've hit a small bump, what's the big deal? I'd like having you at home more~

Vorpal: It's just not fair. Heck, I even had to fire Wariofan. Now I'm paying severance out of my own pocket! Not to mention having to take in a new roommate to make ends meet...

~Vorpal and Misty both glance back behind the couch to the bedrooms. One is closed and has a sign on it saying "No Hobos!" Inside, a lonely mechanical gorilla sadly looks down at a portrait of MPOM as he rubs a metal thumb over her face. In the background, the lyrics of a song are heard~

"Craaaaaaaaawling in my skiiiiiiiiin!"

GORE: I don't even have skin... oh MPOM, what kind of father am I!? The social worker won't even let me see Ronnie anymore! So what if I led the Doomhikers once? I was only a year old then!

~he pulls a pull string on a nearby Luiigii doll~

Luiigii doll: Shut up and-

~GORE crushes it instantly~

GORE: Well, at least there's some things to cheer me up. ~reaches for another one~

----

Narrator: Elsewhere, however, bigger problems were at hand. In the kingdom of Turquoise, Golem sat nervously on a throne with Sapphire at his side. A peasant is brought before them.

Chancellor: Your majesty. This peasant killed one of the royal flying bunnies in the royal garden.

Golem: Oh. Why?

Peasant: To eat, sire! It's a floating island, where else do we hunt game?

Chancellor: He must be punished!

Golem: Nah. Let him go and give him my Subway coupons.

Peasant: Thank you, milord!

~the peasant runs off. The chancellor glares at Golem before stomping off~

Sapphire: You can't just let everyone off for everything. The last guy tried to kill you and you let him go!

Golem: I know. Seriously, why hasn't anyone fired me yet?

Sapphire: *buries head in hands* ... it doesn't work like that.

Golem: All I'm saying is that six years of party going, four years of college, and five years of T-Ventures never included training on being a king. Now give me the royal phone, I want to order Chinese.

~just outside the royal hall, Lord Sky and the Chancellor meet in secret~

Chancellor: That fool is making a mockery of this kingdom!

Lord Sky: Now do you see what I mean?

Chancellor: But his is married to the princess...

Lord Sky: Turquoise WILL belong to me, mark my words. The question is... will you be on the losing side or on my side?

Chancellor: ... on your side, of course.

Lord Sky: Good... good. Now we need only wait for the Donkeyman to make his move.

In the blue garden filled with bluebells and, er, violets; well, it can't be perfect. The only thing that wasn't blue was the swingset. It had become oxidized with age and disuse. Sapphire hadn't been a little princess in a long time, clearly. Enthree swung slightly, draging her feet in that fake blue sand people tend to use in arts and crafts. She was wondering, "Did daddy get those two to make a cousin yet?"

And while Al was a lot of things, he really wasn't entirely concerned with what Sapphire and Golem did in the bedroom, thought he imagined it was pretty boring.

Point of fact, this was the furthest thing from his mind, at the moment. He had tried to see King Cobalt all afternoon, with no luck. Both the Chancellor, whose name he never bothered to remember, and Lord Sky had blocked him from entering. Al knew exactly what two men of power cooperating meant: a coup d'etats.

He entered the garden, and sort of waddled quickly along.

"Hey, dad," said Enthree.

"Enn, pack your things, we're leaving," said Al.

"But dad! Emergency Spring Break isn't over yet."

"Something's rotten in Turquoise, and YOU won't be here when it happens; not if I have anything to say about it." Al turned to speedwaddle away.

"Where are YOU going, dad?"

"I've got to warn the King!"

"He's in a coma!"

"The OTHER king!"

Al might have been intuitive, but it may not have been nearly enough. There's a fine line between being a good guest and being prudent, and perhaps, he'd fallen clearly in the first field.

There are many reapers of souls, but none are quite as fast as Donkeyman and the Flying Canadiandude. A god of death reigns destruction down on the land, where as a god of war reigns death down on the land. In his way, Donkeyman was both.

Al asked around, to find the King. He knew the king was busy, but this was rather important news. But who could he trust? How many might be in on this. What had even caused the King's Coma, to begin with. Aside for morbid obesity, King Cobalt had always seemed in both good spirits and good health. If a coup was being planned, more than just the Chancellor and Lord Sky were in on it, he was sure.

Eventually, one servant directed him into the courtyard, where Golem was apparently signing documents on a tennis court. Al wasn't sure why he was doing this, but was sure there was a good reason behind it.

"Sire! Sire!" he panted.

"Al?" asked Golem.

"Sire... I... think... let's... talk..."

"What's on your mind?"

"A coup d'etat! I think your chancellor and uncle plot against you!"

"Who? Chancellor Butty McFartface?"

"Lies and treason!" shouted the Chancellor.

At which point the Flying Canadiandude eclipsed the sun.

"Okay," the Chancellor corrected, "maybe he's right."

While everyone else was busy tending to world politics, Flutter had bought a store. Well it wasn't really much of a store, it was a lemonade stand. And he didn't really buy it, he pretty much stole it from some kid who ran away crying, after seeing Flutter's best Vorpal impersionation. It was actually not that bad.

He had his cups stacked up like a regular bartender. He had realized he hit the jackpot. Water and Sugar? Sure there was lemons in it, but even the greatest things had their Achilles heel. This was the greatest scheem ever.

Suddenly his phone rang. Yes, this lemonade stand had a phone... Flutter sorta hotwired it. The conversation went something like...

Phone: Hello is this Flutter's Lemonade Bar?

Flutter: Why yes it is. Flutter's Lemonade Bar, where you're the sucker and give me money.

Phone: Oh good, I thought I dialed the wrong number.

Flutter: Nope. Gimme money.

Phone: I have a question, is your refrigerator running?

Flutter: What's a refrigerator?

Phone: Well it's sorta like...

This conversation went on for a while, but this whole scene isn't really relative to the story. I was just distracting you while Chancellor Butty McFartface got the drop on Golem.

"No sudden moves, metal arm! Or the King here gets it!"

"Metal Arm?" questioned Al. "Was that the best insult you can come up with?"

*Soon afterwards, GORE and Luiigii are walking down a dirt path in Turquoise.*

GORE: Sure was nice of the princess to invite us over for a picnic, eh Mamma Luiigii?

Luiigii: I hope she made lotsa spaghetti!

GORE: Shut the shrack up, you dumb hobo! Now let's mess up the place.

Blue Guard: Halt right there, robape and hobo! This dining hall is off-limits for all save royalty!

GORE: But we're friends of Old King Glem!

Blue Guard: Sorry, neiether of your freaks of nature are on the list.

Luiigii: Dammit GORE! I could be back at my cardboard palace living like a hobo prince!

GORE: Hold on, I got this. (to the guard) You always wanted to be a dentist, didn't you?

Blue Guard: Yes, that was always my secret ambition.

GORE: Then how would you like to check out my mouth, Sanchez? (opens up his mouth)

Blue Guard: It would be an honor.

*The Blue Guard peeks into GORE's mouth, at which point a spring-loaded fists flies and smashes the guard's face in.*

GORE: Remind me to check!

*They step into the dining hall and begin eating everything/generally messing up the place.*

GORE: How's it feel to have an actual meal, dumbass?

Luiigii: Like my funeral will probably be: a relief. By the way, you're never babysitting my kids again.

GORE: Why not?



Luiigii: That.

GORE: Fine, I don't want anymore to do with your mutant hobo family anyway! (angrily grabs a random guy sitting nearby) Hey you! Get offa my cloud! (tosses him out the window and over the edge of Turquoise)

~meanwhile, down on the ground in New Jersey, which is generally where the Kingdom of Turquoise likes to hover over, Thrakun and Jed walk away from a certain lemonade bar~

Thrakun: This stuff tastes terrible.

Jed: Wait! You can't stay that or-

~Mistress Elmonade steps out~

Elmonade: You don't like my Hot Fresh Cold Old Lemonade Grandmamas Secret Recipe?

Thrakun: Nay, lassie.

Elmonade: Then you will die! *flutters away*

~the nearby bartender who is Flutter, yes it was him, okay, I'll admit it. I'm coming clean and maybe it's about time you did too. Are we going to live in a world where narration isn't done by a Narrator or even done by tildes? Is that where we're going? Is that the life we're going to lead? You're all on a dangerous path and if you keep heading this way then one day the line between script and prose will be forever blurred and you'll lose yourself into the insanity of writing. But there's hope for you, yes. There's still hope to reclaim that lost life and build up something new and worthwhile. Come back to me, Clementine. I can change, I swear!~

(Thrakun, Jed, and Elmonade all stare blankly)

~oh, right. A thousand Lemonheads in black suits leap out from every conceivable and inconceivable location, including behind the Boss's floppy right ear where a tiny monkey once lived. They all surround Thrakun and Jed menacingly~

Agent Lemonhead: This is the first action scene!

Thrakun: Ae'll take it! Remember Jed, keep one alive for questioning!

~the lemonheads all swarm on Thrakun, who cleaves them left and right with his axe. Jed swirls around in slow motion and splashes lemonade in the eyes of a Lemonhead, then pulls out his gun from his shoe and begins shooting at them~

Thrakun: Did ye jes' pull that from yer shoes?

Jed: Yes? >.>

Thrakun: Ye need tae do something aboot that foot odor, lad!

Jed: Neat.

~Thrakun continues to cleave through them all while Jed uses his special gun to shoot them. At one point he even uses Crash Bullets, once and for all establishing that women aren't the only ones who can do neat things with guns. At last only one Agent remains and Jed climbs on top of him~

Jed: Tell us why you're trying to kill us!

Agent Lemonhead: I would sooner die!

Thrakun: Ae'll handle this.

~Thrakun walks up to the agent and grabs him by the scrotum~

Thrakun: Who was that woman!?

Agent Lemonhead: Erk... I'll never talk! Anything you do... will be nothing compared to the pain... I will receive if I talk!

Thrakun: Aye? *squeezes tight*

Agent Lemonhead: Oh! Whoa! Agh! This is still nothing compared to what I will receive if I talk!

Thrakun: *squeezes* Er.

Agent Lemonhead: What?

Thrakun: It's nothing.

Agent Lemonhead: Tell me!

Thrakun: Ae dinna know how to tell ye this, but... ae feel a lump..

Agent Lemonhead: Are you serious?

Thrakun: Yeah... ae'm... ae'm so sorry, lad. *lets go*

Agent Lemonhead: How do you think I feel? I... I should go see my wife...

Thrakun: ... do ye think ye could tell me who that woman was?

Agent Lemonhead: Yeah, whatever. I don't care anymore. It was Mistress Elmonade, the Baroness of Lemons.

~Thrakun watches in pity as Agent Lemonhead walks away. Suddenly the Blue Guard falls from the sky and lands on him, killing them both~

Jed: Well that took care of that problem!

Thrakun: Aye. Now quick, help me steal his boots.

Thrakun walks up to the very dead Blue Guard (NOBODY could survive that fall!) and quickly loots through the man's pockets

"You gained 1 coin(s)!"

Thrakun drives his boot into the dead guard's ribs

"You gained 100000 coin(s)!"

Thrakun: Aye, that be more like it!

Jed: Jackpot! :O

The Blue Guard's eyes open and he doubles over in pain

Jed: Impossible! NOBODY could've survived that fall! >:O

Blue Guard: OOoooww!!

The Blue Guard tries to help himself to his feet, but both his legs have been broken in six or so places, he looks at Thrakun with big watery eyes as if asking "....Why?"

Thrakun: Don't be lookin at me, lad. You aren't going ta do anythin' with that moneh' when you're dead.

Blue Guard: I can't die! There are two hooligans in the Great Blue Palace! That hobo might be generally messing up the place RIGHT NOW, and it's my duty to stop him!

Thrakun's right eyebrow raises at the word "hobo"

Jed notices the eyebrow raise and realizes exactly what the dwarf has planned, Jed spends no time in leaping onto Thrakun's face who flail's his arms around trying to shake the pudgy thing off

Jed: Don't you dare drag me into an adventure to turqoise! You don't even know if it's the same hobo!

Thrakun forces Jed off of himself, Jed hits the floor and then bounces into a streetpost, which ricochets him right into the Blue Guard who has managed to somehow stand. The guard panics and runs blindly, a shady man sticks out his foot which the guard trips over, down a flight of stairs into a subway. Jed slowly makes his way back up the stairs and looks at Thrakun with teary eyes.

Jed: He's dead ;_;

Everyone: GASP!

Thrakun: That won't be a matter! I'll just imagine he's the one I seek as I beat the life out of him!

The shady man who tripped the guard steps out of the shady shadows. The man is of young age, around 21 or so. He has slightly pale skin. Light brown, widly spiked hair of short-medium length, and slight hair on his chin. He's of slim-medium build, with broad shoulders. He wears a black leather jacket, black jeans, purple biker gloves, purple boots, a purple undershirt, and his trademark, blue-tinted shades. He slips a cigarette into his mouth and lights it with his thumb (Yes, he has FIRE POWERS people! You should all know that by now) and fixes his eyes on jed with a smug grin

Man: Hey heyyy little man, you should'nt be playing on stairs, they're dangerous, kid. (the man motions towards the guard at the bottom of the stairwell)

Jed: I feel like I know you >_>

The man pats Jed on the head and casually strolls over to Thrakun and puts out his hand, Thrakun, confused, slowly brings his hand up but the man whips out a concealed comb and grooms his hair with it, then wags his grooming tool

Man: Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Too slow

Thrakun, confused but angry raises his fist, but the shady man raises a finger

Man: Don't be so angry, let me explain to you why i'm here, Thor

Thrakun: Explain quickly or ye'll not be explainin' much else when I get done!

Man: (ahem) The name's Rocky. I happened to overhear your conversation, you need to get to Turqoise, and I just happen to know a way to get there

Thrakun pulls Rocky's face in close

Thrakun: Aye, lad, ya betteh be talkin, before I get ta hurtin'

Rocky: (ahem) Right, well, I'm not the kind to help strangers for free, so pay up stay down here

Thrakun elbows Rocky in the back of the head

Rocky: Ow! Lame!

"Neeeheheeheee!" sayeth the Donkeyman.

"Oh hell," said Sapphire.

"I've come to collect my queen and have her rule the afterlife by my side!"

"I really thought you forgot about that."

"Neeeheheeheee! You'd think so, right?"

"Whatever, I'm already married."

"Yeah, it was a shotgun wedding," said Golem.

"Sniper gun wedding, too," said Al.

"Oh, that makes me feel good."

"Sorry, I really wasn't going to do it."

"Yeah, but why would you even pretend to..."

"Neeheehrum, excuse me, I'm talking here," called Donkeyman.

"What the hell do you want?" asked Al.

"Uh, her; weren't you listening?"

"Nope."

"Why not?! I had something important to say!"

"So the queen could escape," Al said, as he beat a hasty retreat.

"Wait up!" yelled Golem, running after him.

"Neeheeherrr! Bring her to me!" yelled Donkeyman.

"Actually sir," said Chancellor Butty McFartface, I do believe we have some business to attend to.

"What if she gets away?"

"It's a flying island, sir? Where would she go?"

Golem: The only business you'll have is with my fist, sucka! Time to school you, fool!

Big Al: ... Golem?

Golem: Sorry. T-Ventures. I get fifty dollars everytime I reference it.

Big Al: We have to buy Sapphire some time. Let's take down this two-bit villain!

Golem: Yeah, it's funny. I don't remember him being so generic before...

~Big Al gets into a combat positions, but Golem just calls the guards. They all swarm on Donkeyman while the Chancellor runs and hides. Donkeyman laughs madly as he bats away the guards with his hooves. After the guards are taken care of, Big Al goes to fight himself. Donkeyman swings at Big Al, but Al is able to catch the arm and pulls it, but surprisingly pulls it off~

Big Al: Wow, Golem. You guys have sucky villains.

Golem: Uh.

~Big Al looks at the arm and notices it has wires and sparks flying out rather than blood~

Donkeyman: NEEEHAHAHAHA!

~Donkeyman tries to chomp down on Big Al's head, but Golem comes from behind and strangles him from behind with the scarf. Luiigii and GORE run in just in time~

GORE: You monsters!

Golem: ... what?

GORE: You invite me over to a party... just to murder another robot in front of me!? Haven't I suffered enough!?

~GORE runs out of the throne room with exhaust fuel leaking from his optical circuits. Luiigii just shrugs~

Luiigii: I'm just here for the food.

Donkeyman: Yee... haa..... 9900haaa zxx0x99q8wm qqwi qu 0 990...!!!

~the Donkeyman explodes, sending Golem and Big Al flying back.~

Luiigii: A Donkeyman robot? How very suspicious. Clearly someone was trying to trick us into thinking Donkeyman was alive with this deception. However such a shoddily made robot would not have fooled anyone for long, so clearly it must have been made by the Donkeyman himself to fool us. Ah, but the Donkeyman would have expected that and built a better robot, so this must be a person who would have anticipated our skepticism and tried to pin it on Donkeyman, who is not back after all. But it is also possible that the Donkeyman, being a crafty villain, would have known we would have expected someone else to use his likeness to invoke fear, so he used a robot replica of himself in order to make us think someone else was trying to manipulate us into thinking he was alive in order to throw the trail off them.

~deeeeeep breath~

Luiigii: But I also know that as the former apprentice of the man who corrupted me to evil, that Donkeyman is not above using others to achieve his agenda and this robot is of advanced yet shoddy enough design to only have been built by a select few individuals. Clearly by the wiring you can see it lacks the finesse of my arch-rival Wariofan13. On closer inspection you will see that it is more in line with my arch-rival, my adoptive father who I recently learned is my uncle. If my instincts are right then perhaps this is not the workings of Donkeyman, but a master of deception like the evil counterpart of my formerly not anymore deceased friend, I speak of course of my arch-rival Dark Ditto. However by noting the pursuit of Sapphire and the all too suspicious coma King Cobalt has fallen into, it is also possible that my arch-rival Sarugerm, the fiend whom I fought in the belly of the Mune, has some part to play in this.

~deeeeep breath~

Luiigii: Yet it would be hasty to make such an obvious assumption when the title of this OG clearly indicates that my arch-rivals, the Kaiser Bears could-

Big Al: OKAY! GOD! What is wrong with you, man!? How many arch-enemies do you have?

Luiigii: I've lost count. But I'll never forget my first...



Golem: Wow Luiigii, you're like the hate magnet for enemies. It stands to reason that if we work with you, then the true fiend behind this will surface. Let's go A-Team!

+$50.00

Golem: Yessss

---

~meanwhile, in Lord Sky's secret underground chambers, he talks through his N-Gage~

Lord Sky: A robot! You sent me a robot!?

~on the screen is the face of an older man with long white hair and a distinguished beard. He speaks with a thick Mexican accent~

Ricardo: Patience, my royal friend. This is but the first step of my plan to give you power, yes? The princess has flown the coop. She has abandoned her people. Can that foolish boy claim power when she is around? I think not.

Lord Sky: She could return.

Ricardo: My simple friend, this will not be so. Already my minions are gathered to me like flies to feces. They suckle the excretion with their tongues, soaking in its foulness in anticipation.

Lord Sky: I think I might just vomit now.

Ricardo: Shush shush. My meaning is simple. Sapphire is not your problem. Taking Turquoise for your own is now your problem. Get rid of the Gamehikers there and take what belong to you. If you fail to do that, then I will be your problem. Do we understand one another?

Lord Sky: ... yes. Perfectly.

Ricardo: Good, now do not interrupt me like this again. You have made me missed General Hospital and my new TiVo is not yet in. Be gone.

~the screen flickers and Ricardo is left in his private quarters alone, attended by a Mariorocks butler~

Ricardo: Fetch me my top scientist. We must speak about his shoddy workmanship.

Mariorocks: Why coitenly!

Jed: Pass. *walks over to Rocky and grabs a hold of his shin*

Rocky: Aww, you wanna ride on my shoulders, little g-GAAAAAAAH! *has a non-lethal dose of electricity course through his body and causes him to fall over unconscious*

Thrakun: Ae knew et was too good to beh true... yer eh witch.

Jed: Not really. It's... complicated. Look, it'll most likely never happen again, so who cares? >.> Anyway, we have our own way of getting to Turquoise; I'm not giving him any money. It'll just take a while. Grab onto my foot.

Thrakun: Ae dun like where this es goin'.

Jed: Trust me. *puffs himself up as Thrakun grabs onto his foot and begins flapping his stubs*

Soon, Thrakun and Jed are airborne with Thrakun looking bored and Jed visually strained by the effort. They approach the edge of Turquoise and just when Jed's about to clear it, he releases the air he sucked in and they start falling. Luckily Thrakun's reflexes allowed for a hastily-swung axe strike at the side of Turquoise and lodged it.

Thrakun: Maybeh meltin' yer scythe down was eh lack o' foresight.

Jed: *hanging upside down by his foot* I don't care, it's for the best <¯<

Jed puffed up again while Thrakun dislodged his axe and they finally made it onto Turquoise's ground.

Thrakun: Well, ye almost killed us, but we made et.

Jed: I'm sorry, you're really heavy >.>

Thrakun: ...Aye, that Ae am.

Suddently, Sapphire runs towards them and recognizes Jed.

Sapphire: Oh, Jed, you're sorta competent, aren't you?

Jed: Uh...

Sapphire: Look, whatever. However you can, get me off Turquoise!

Jed: ...You can't be serious.

Sapphire: Donkeyman is trying to kidnap me; let's move it!

Jed: Fiiiiiine. Damn it all... Look, can we go off another ledge? I sorta electrocuted a guy back down where we are and if I saw him again... well, it'd be awkward.

Sapphire: *takes her dress in her hands and lifts it slightly to raise her foot*

Jed: GAWD FINE! Thrakun, grab her hand.

Thrakun: She can hold onto me AXE! ...On second thought, no, she can't; human women have no business touchin' weaponreh.

Cut to Jed slowly descending to the ground while Sapphire held his foot and with her other hand held the back of Thrakun's shirt. They made it to the ground safely and, of course, landed right next to Rocky.

Jed: ...Okay, he's still out. Let's keep moving.

Sapphire: Why, who is he?

Jed: Doesn't matter, let's go >.>

Sapphire: I will NOT have information withheld from me.

Jed: Holy sh... Some guy named Rocky. You can tell by his get-up that he's a real go-getter and I guess he has fire powers. Can we go now? >.>

Sapphire: Fine.

They take off to get Sapphire to safety and moments later, Rocky finally stirs awake.

Rocky: *sits up holding his head* Ow... Lil bastard shocked me. Must be a witch. *looks around* I guess they're gone. Ah well, might as well head towards Turquoise. I need to deliver this pizza.

Al: Anyway, I've got to warn the king!

Golem: But he's in a mysterious coma, I'm the king for now......I guess

Luiigii: I didn't vote for you

Al: Well.....I'll have to warn you then!

Golem: Okay, what is it?

Al: Lord Sky has planned an att-Wait where's Enn?!

Golem: .......Uh oh...

~Enthree's shrieks are heard down a halway~

Enthree: Daddy!!!

~Al bursts into a fit of panic and rage, grabs Luiigii and Golem in both arms and frantically waddles toward the cries~

Al: Don't worry baby! I'm coming! They better not lay a hand on her!

~Meanwhile GORE is sulking over a balcony, he glumly stares at his photo of MPOM. One of Lord Sky's minions leaps toward the big ape but his face is met with a large mechanical fist~

Rocky: Hey man, I'm kinda lost, wanna help me out here?

~GORE looks up to come face to face with Rocky holding a pizza box and riding his FLYING harley~

Rocky: I need to deliver this pizza to uh.....~pulls out a slip of paper~ A Mister I. C. Yupey........Wait that doesn't sound like a real.....That's it I quit!

~Rocky looks down at GORE who has gone back to looking at his photo~

Rocky: Oh man, you look really bummed. Here, have a slice ~hands a slice of pizza~

~GORE's face emedietly lights up (literally)~

GORE: Y'know, I think this pity food'll hold me over long enough to forget about ol' whatsherface for a bit! Get over here friend!

~GORE grabs Rocky by the throat violently but somehow effectionatelly then begins to walk down the hall~

Rocky: (choking) B-but my bike!

GORE: Oh yeah, we can't just leave your possession laying around, someone could damage it

~GORE fires a missile out of his finger which blows up the floating motorcycle. A distinct breaking sound can be heard in Rocky's chest as he holds back tears~

GORE: There now you can focus ALL your energy on me, cause you're my new friend, isn't that right buddy?

Rocky: Hell no!

~GORE punches Rocky in the face which knocks him out~

GORE: ~satisfying sigh~ Just like old times

---

Flutter: So you want me to check with my eyes, to look and see if my box that keeps objects place in it cool and fresh is still running, as in has legs and or still working?

Phone: Yes!

Flutter: I don't have one of them.

Phone: Aaarrrgh! *click*

~Flutter hung the phone up. Yes that is a tilde. Some people like them. But at times, they can interrupt the flow of the story. And yes that is an astrix up there. Some people use them to denote actions. I believe they're scared. Perhaps, pansies. When script and prose collide, it's like shaking hands with a zombie. Both creepy and familiar. Infact I will not use a tilde to end this post, as an objection to the norm[insert tilde]

Flutter had a particularly horrbile business day today. Well he couldn't really judge that, since this had been his only business day. The phone rang.

"Yes this is Vorp-Man.... What?... No I mean what did you say? I wasn't listening.... What?!.... No I heard you that time. Don't worry, I'm on it."

Flutter pressed a button under the stand. It flipped back and he disappeared. As to why some kid's lemonade stand could do this, well he might've been a super genius. There seem to be an awful lot of shows of kid supergeniuses. So it could happen.

Suddenly in an underground cave, a mysterious figure appeared. It actually wasn't that mysterious, it was really just Flutter dressed in a nice shade of purple. A little bit darker than the gamecube. Anyway, he had a hat and cape and mask and cool superhero stuff. It was pretty good, but I'm too lazy to describe it.

"There's trouble in Turquoise! We better hurry Launchpad!"

There was silence.

"Oh that's right... you're an actual launchpad. You can't talk. No wonder you crash all my planes."

He hopped on his motorcycle shaped like his beak and sped off... into a wall. So he hobbled over to his tricycle and pedalled out.

Despite being on the ground, Darkbeak Flutter used a little mind over matter and strapped rockets onto the tricycle's training wheels. It blasted up into the sky.

"Yahhahooieeeeeeeeeee!"

And then crashed right into the Flying Canadiandude. Inside the ship a voice rang out from admist the smoke.

"I am the terror that squeals in the night
I am the stain on Party Goers that just won't go away
I am DARKBEAK FLUTTER!"

And now a musical interlude:
♪♫
Out of the blue and he appears.
A master of never being there.
Always got something say
Usually about his hair
Everyone else knows the score, but they're crap out of luck
Which doesn't rhyme with Darkbeak Flutter
When there's trouble ya call DB...F
DARKBEAK FLUTTER
"Why. So. Serious?"
DARKBEAK FLUTTER
Darkbeak Darkbeak Darkbeak Flutter
DARKBEAK FLUTTER
♪♫

Flutter tapped his feet.

"That song never gets old."

~Meanwhile, at safety, Jed, Thrakun and Sapphire take a moment to perform the safety dance, then stop to catch their breath.~

Thrakun: Where ye be leading us, lad?

Jed: *Huff* *Puff* I dunno, as far from Turquoise as possible?

Sapphire: *Puts her hands on her hips and glares at Jed* How can you not have a plan of where to go? Do you -want- me to get kidnapped?

Jed: Sorta..

~Sapphire kicks Jed in the side of the head~

Jed: Ow! Not neat!

Thrakun: Ae think it'd be best we try and go..*zooms in* encagnehto.

Jed: What?

Thrakun: Dress up in costumes and go on in disguise ye thick hunk of rubber.

Sapphire: I don't know if you noticed, but we're already dressed like a dwarf from Golden Axe and a spoiled Disney princess with a talking basketball that follows them.

Jed: Well...

~Jed spots a group of people standing outside of a local club, each wearing different costumes. The shortest member is in a Storm Trooper's mask and uniform, the somewhat taller member- a stubby, fat man, is dressed as Chewbacca, while the tallest, thinnest member is dressed as Princess Leia. Jed walks up to them and starts to talk to them. A second later you see them all waving to eachother and then walk off in different directions, each wearing the other group's costumes.~

Jed: That was convenient. *Fidgets in his Storm Trooper helmet*

Thrakun: Ae haven't been this hairy since ae spent time in Scotland. They should've looked what was under me kilt then!

Jed: Chewbacca didn't have an axe, I believe. >.>

Sapphire: Aren't you a little short for a Storm Trooper?

Jed: Shut u- *Is punted*

Thrakun: Yer hair buns..they look delicious.

Sapphire: They're fake I think. *Picks one off and hands it to Thrakun, who eats it* Yep.

Jed: *Lands in a trash can and brings his head up* Yeah, looks hot. >.>

~Saph walks over and puts the lid over Jed's head~

Sapphire: Forget it, let's just beat up those other guys and get our old clothes back.

Jed: We were supposed to look inconspicuous!

Sapphire: Nothing's gonna make that happen, now let's go.

~Later, Sapphire smacks her hands together as the group of pummeled people lay at her feet. She adjusts her crown and then heads off with Jed sighing and following. Thrakun grunts in a manly way and bids farewell to his costume before leaving.~

Sapphire: Well now where should we go?

Jed: I dunno, but I don't feel like running any more, so let's grab a bus.

Thrakun: Aye.

~Thrakun reaches his hand out into the street and grabs a hold of a bus as it drives by, bringing it to an immediate stop and causing some passengers to fly out of the windshield and landing many yards away.~

Thrakun: Here we are.

Jed: Just how much more attention are we gonna bring to ourselves?!

~Meanwhile, from the shadows...could it be? SOMEONE IS WATCHING?!~

~indeed, someone was watching. It was none of than Citrusity! The lemon-themes supervillain who also has electrical powers. It's funny because, you know, lemons are yellow and electricity is always depicted as being yellow. Also you could also say they have a JOLT to them! It's funny, people. Work with me here~

Citrucity: Mistress Elmonade. The target is within sight...

~on the other side of the line was of course Elmonade. Her real name was Elma Nadia Cake, the only daughter of the deceased Carrotcake King. Unlike her father, she was less interested in lemon cake and more about... okay, it was all about the cakes for her too. She's pretty one-dimensional like that~

Elmonade: Eliminate them all!

Citrucity: Are you sure? It's a woman, a dwarf, and a little... ball. Were any of them even involved with your father?

Elmonade: They killed my Agents! Does it matter!?

Citrucity: Alright. You're the boss. Citrucity Out! Zap!

~meanwhile, Thrakun and his team sit in the back of the bus, attracting worried looks from everyone~

Sapphire: I told you, I'm not on your team. You just happen to be able to kill practically anything and that makes you useful to me in lieu of someone slightly saner, like Vorpal.

Thrakun: Ae've got to have some'n take a place in mah, team lassie! Helga left me high and dry to work for your human President!

Sapphire: And yet I'm strangely apathetic.

Jed: Um, I think this is our stop.

~they all step out of the bus to a normal suburban neighborhood.~

Sapphire: You live here?

Thrakun: Aye. Wot of it?

Sapphire: Cleaner than I expected.

~they walk down the sidewalk, past where an empty house is, long abandoned with only the word "Yah" on the mailbox~

Sapphire: What happened here?

Thrakun: Ah... me dear friend Kester lived here! Oi, the laddie couldnae handle the strain!

~suddenly from the ground, out pops a mining helmet~

Mole Guy: Afternoon, Thrakun. Company?

Thrakun: Aye, lad. Hear from Kester?

Mole Guy: No.

Thrakun: *stiffens lower lip* It's okay lad... be strong...

~they continue inside the house, which is a typical suburban home. Of course~

Sapphire: Okay, I'm not sure this is the best place to hide. In fact I find it kind of creepy that an extremely old man and his pipsqueak sidekick invited me back home.

Jed: Pipsqueak!? Sidekick!? Why don't I get any respect? Like ever? I'm going to have a breakdown if you guys keep belittling me. I swear. It'll be messy.

Thrakun: Ae've got a secret chamber below the house, ye wench! It has a vault bigger'n what's even possible!

Sapphire: Still strikes me as a bit strange.

Jed: I'm a person too, you know. I have feelings. Just because I'm eight inches tall doesn't make me any less of a person. I can be used for more than just comedy at my expense.

Thrakun: Dinnae flatter yerself, lassie! I dunno what the humans think of ye, but by dwarven standards ye're damned ugly!

Sapphire: Well by any standards, you're disgusting!

Jed: I try and I try, but I don't get any respect anymore. I'm a deep person that sees the world in shades of gray and sometimes cerulean. What happens? I get put in a Stormtrooper helmet and punted. Tell me, how is this fair?

Thrakun: Well, if ye're ungrateful, I can take yer skinny princess arse back to that broken down island and be rid of ye!

Sapphire: It would be better than putting up with you!

Jed: Maybe I'll quit. Yeah, I'll quit and then you'll see how much you need me. I don't have to put up with this! I met God! In person! He even slightly acknowledged me in the last OG!

Thrakun: Well then maybe ae'll go do it now!

~suddenly Citrucity bursts in from the front door~

Citrusity: PREPARE TO MEET YOUR MAKERS, PITIFUL FOOLS!

~all three of them glare daggers at Citrucity. Awkwardly he backs away, accidentally knocks a vase over and barely catches it, and creeps back out the front door. They all turn around to resume what they were saying, but a young girl steps in from the kitchen~

Girl: Could you keep it down? I swear, it's giving me a headache.

Sapphire: Oh. Mm hmm. And who is THIS?

Thrakun: What? I dinnae know who she is! And why do ye even care?

Sapphire: If I'm going to be taken advantage of by a dwarf, he at least better be focused only on me.

Jed: She's only a little girl.

Sapphire: I don't think so! She's just short!

Thrakun: She's a dwarf. We're not short, we're just not absurdly tall.

Sapphire: Oh, now I'm too tall.

Thrakun: Women! Oi!

Jed: Hi. I'm Jed, I work with Beardo here.

Girl: Hi, my name is Tina. I'm Beardo's daughter.

Thrakun: Hey whaaaaaa?

---MEANWHILE...---

Rocky: Wow, that was an amazing theme song. I want a theme song.

GORE: ... I used to have theme song... once...

Flutter: Yeah, well, that's because you're not as cool as me. Look at this hair! Look at it! Seriously, anyone have a camera?

GORE: I've got one. IN MY FIST! Which I will use. To hit your face with. Because... it's a fist... and... that one kind of got away from me.

Flutter: Yeah, I rule. So, I'm here because there's a problem. A math problem, I hear. I happen to be certified in nineteen forms of mathematical diplomacy.

Rocky: Oh yeah. This flying galleon ship gives me odd memories....

~a flashback bubble begins to appear regarding just that~

Rocky: NO! NO! That's not me!

GORE: Huh, oh right. Robo-Donkeyman took over. Let's check it out!

~the three all run dramatically through the halls, throwing things out of their way, pushing servants out of the way, taking a good ten minutes to stop and flirt shamelessly with a rather attractive maid, and finally reach the main throne room, only sitting on the throne is not Golem... but Lord Sky! Next to him is a young girl in her teens~

Lord Sky: Oh. We have visitors. How unfortunate... for them.

Flutter: Wait! Wait. There's no need for this.

GORE: *thumbs up* Go get 'em, DBF!

Flutter: *turns away from GORE and Rocky* I have personally delivered these two into your custody!

Rocky: ... and I helped! *turns away from GORE too*

Lord Sky: He said 'two' of them.

Rocky: Obviously he meant the fists.

Lord Sky: And the gorilla attached to the fists?

GORE: ... I'm not with the fists either?

Lord Sky: Guards, take them away!

~in place of the usual Turquoisan guards, the new palace guards are hulking ogre-like creatures with heavy armor and clubs and stuff like that. Just work with it~

Flutter: B-but-

~the guards point various weapons at Flutter's hair~

Flutter: Yeah, okay.

~as the three are escorted back to the dungeon, the teenage girl looks up at Lord Sky~

Teenage Girl: Are you sure this is okay, dad?

Lord Sky: Lilac, Lilac... your cousin has abandoned the throne and her husband is trying to fight to take control of this kingdom. I have to protect the throne until my brother awakens. You understand, yes?

Lilac: ... yes, father. (That guy with the ape was pretty cute though...)

---BACKWHILE---

Tina: ... and so by cross referencing your 50s television show with telemarketing records, I was able to find your new home here. Also I found your MySpace page.

Thrakun: Oi! It was Helga what made that. I cannae stand computers!

Tina: Jeez, dad. You're such a caveman.

Thrakun: Cave DWARF. Get it right! Oi!

Jed: ... I like computers.

Sapphire: .... right, okay. Family reunion time is bye bye. My kingdom is under danger, so let's shift our focus on that. Now how do we-

Tina: Is this my new step-mom? She's very pretty, but I think I'm older than her.

Thrakun: She's not mah wife!

Tina: Well, just asking. I know there was that whole scandal with Elen-

Thrakun: Dinnae say that name!

Sapphire: You know what? I think I'll just ask the lemon-themed supervillain to help. Somehow I suspect he's more compent.

~Sapphire storms out of the house, but is met at the door by a small dog, two reptile men in suits, and the entire local police force~

Sapphire: ... it's for you, Thrakun!

Dog: Ma'am, I'm Agent Metal Ore with the Secret Service. We're going to have to ask you to come with us.

~Thrakun and the others arrive behind Sapphire~

Thrakun: Aww, too bad. Ta ta, lassie!

Metal Ore: We're going to need ALL of you to come with us.

Thrakun: Crivens. Ae'm really starting to hate today.

*GORE, Rocky and Flutter are lovingly escorted into their lavish prison cell. The urinal doubles as a sink.*

GORE: I don't even remember what happened to Luiigii, nor do I feel like reading what did.

Blue Guard: You won't even get any food we're gonna starve ya to death.

GORE: You heard' em boys, we'll have to live off of hair to survive.

Flutter: I think I can be counted out. My hair is too perfect to touch, it would be like licking the Torah. Plus my hair serves a practical purpose as it has absorbed enough lite to give off an ambient glow. I work as a professional nightlight on the weekends.

Rocky: You think your hair's more important than mine? Ten gallons of gel says otherwise! I use ten quarts of each brand just to make sure I get the best of each!

GORE: Guys I actually have a way we can live. (presses a button on his shoulder and his head sprouts play-doh hair) Tapioca flavored!

Flutter: Hold on there, ape guy. (narrows eyes) This just got personal.

Rocky: You aren't proposing...

Flutter: Hair-Off.

*Back at the Mole Man ranch (where only jaywalkers and unloved orphans are forced to wear exspheres, everyone is in the back of a police car on their way wherever.*

Sapphire: I'm glad we got arrested without some annoying gratuitous fight scene accompanying it.

Jed: Yes, that's a relief... but wait, we're with Thrakun-

*One officer is headbutted into a wall by Thrakun, dying instantly. Everyone's handcuffed btw. Tina kicks away officers while Thrakun uses his teeth to tear one bone out of the dead officer's body that is just the right size, and uses it to pick the lock on his handcuffs. The remaining officers begin falling like the water in Timnis's shower.*

Sapphire: (reading magazine in corner and sighing) We were so close...

Jed: I think they forgot to capture someone too...

*Mole Man smashes through the side of the van with a shovel and begins smacking more officers around. Metal-Ore steps forwards with the two reptilemen at side, all of them flexing their muscles in anger.*

Metal Ore: You are making a mockery out of justice. WE WILL SHOW YOU... THAT MIGHT MAKES PEE WRIGHT!

Narrator: Remember that Turquoise prison cell? GORE, whatsifcae right Rocky and Flutter sure as hell do, cuz they're in it!

GORE: Let the hair games begin.

*Flutter and Rocky both go into their most alluring poses, directed at GORE.*

GORE: Oh my...

Flutter: The winner will be the one he comes to.

*GORE lunges at Flutter and grabs a fistful of hair, preparing to eat it, but Flutter kicks him off with one of his Darkbeak Flutter gadgets.*

Rocky: Dammit! I was so close...

GORE: Don't worry stupid punk kid, you can be my new protege.

Rocky: Reeally? ...Do I have to take a stupid initiation test?

GORE: No, just this. GORE-ILLA punches Rocky in the face.

Flutter: Now now. Don't forget that I'm actually Darkbeak Flutter (who is this Sam Flutter you speak of?) and when bustin' out is our objective... I got our way out.

"She couldn't've gon' too far," said Luiigii.

"Just calm down, Al, I'm sure we'll find her," said Golem offering a comforting arm.

"Oh, that might be easy for you to say, but when it's your child, I can guarentee you you'll feel differently," whined Al.

"Well, Al, who would have a vested interest in capturing her?"

"Can't... think.... of..." Al sobbed.

"It's okay. We'll find her."

"There... are no... obvious exits."

"Well then," said Luiigii, "let's find an unobvious exit."

Luiigii sprawled on the floor, and crawled around. Behind a bed, he found a vent. It appeared to be open a bit. Then he stood up, measured his waist, measured Al's waist, then looked at King Golem.

"Er, Golem, I think I know where she's gone, but I need yer help, a'ight?" asked Luiigii

"Anything." said Golem.

"She's in there." Luiigii indicated the vent.

"You've gotta be kidding me."

"You have an alternative? That's where she went, buck."

"Please your Highness?" begged Al.

"Argh... okay," Golem gave in, "One condition."

"What, sire?"

"Golem or Greg will do. Seriously."

---

"Where are you taking mee~!?" cried Enthree.

"Taking you to your council with the Lord Sky, my dear. He's been expecting you," said the woman.

"Who are you?"

"Who indeed?" said Kinoko.