Didn't think we could work the Google machine and figure out who was talking smack about us?

It's easy to judge our website from outside, but we are one of the closest-knit communities on the web. With our bad qualities come our good, and when you get to know us, you understand why we love it so much.

Additionally, ever since Donkey Kong Country Returns came out, the site has experienced a resurgence of popularity, including site founders Chad and Slush regaining the helm and an influx of positivity.

I know you guys hate on us, so how about this: Ask me anything about our strange little subculture, and I'll do my best to explain. From The Bitchwars to Bendilin, Mayemuki to Mark, let me defend our site's interests.

The main thing you have to understand is: We're being ironic. The whole concept of the DKU is inherently ridiculous, but we accept it as true because it's awesome to think about, and the games did really form a collective sort of universe. Later on, the definition of "DKU" became a little loose... a lot of politics went on over attempts to keep the DKU expansive after Rare got sold.

So we seriously want to discuss this, but we stay ironic the whole time. I agree, that's almost even sadder, but this second note makes it all come together:

Everybody has enemies. The people who deserve it most of all

We openly hate our own. Brohoods form, but hate cults form, too. It's a dark, cynical, pessimistic atmosphere. And yet, it lets us be free, because in the end, who cares what some Donkey Kong nerd says?

So ask away. Oh, and one more thing: The matter of the traitor Wariofan will need to be dealt with. I'm calling you out.

I don't exactly hate you guys... I did use that magical Google device you mentioned to look back at topics, and it was mostly morons like Rocky and Director. You did kinda pick a bad time for a retort considering the forum currently has like eight posts for week with a good number of the members in those topics being inactive. And most of the posts in question were written from the time range of 2006 and 2008. I did have a bit of a DKvine phase myself years ago (around the time Rare was sold) and loved the funny articles back then, although I was also bothered a bit by the Nintendo demonization as well as the anal canonizing, although I understand now that some of that was just being played up for humor. I do still check DKVineU from time to time (but only the main page) mostly to see your take on DKReturns and such. I guess it just made an easy target for us, especially since most of us could be classified as Nintendo fanboys (although we've also subverted and poked fun at this image of ourselves as well), and DKVine just seemed to make an easy target. We have had DKU defenders among us too, such as shared member Nintenfreak who has brought Sean King or whatever his name is occasionally.

Right now? We're a pretty dead forum to the point of basic neutrality, so we'll take peace. As for Wariofan? We'll sell him to you.

You guys suck

Bad Fred. Back to your cage. Bad.

Sorry, he gets like this whenever strange people come in.

Baaaaad Fred.

This is very bizarre. And so I will post my take on the issue, whether or not it's a good idea.

Whatever "smack" was talked was self-defeating, intentionally or no. There's a thread in Gaming Discussion called "Mario's Fact & Fiction." It discusses Mario canon, dispelling rumors regarding it. This is not a forum you take seriously.

What I mean is: we're all hopeless geeks here. (Or is "nerds" the word that I want?) Gamehikers can only make fun of DKvine insofar as they make fun of themselves. Mocking someone else for their behavior isn't right when you act in a similar way, but it is funny.

Gamehiker stepped over a line, but it's best not to take the matter personally. I doubt anyone here seriously hates DKvine. It's just that you guys can look silly sometimes. Gamehikers can look silly too, but it's easier to remove the splinter from your brother's eye.

Also, I'd like to elect Fred as our ambassador. Send that man to some Middle East peace talks.

Anyway, I think Gamehiker Forums should seriously consider a forum war here, or some other form of altercation which is equally cavalier and stupid. It'd be fun to watch. Also probably raise forum activity. Hey, that would make a good OG.

I like what Glem says, pretend that was my post instead

Of course that was your post, GORE. Always thinking up new ideas for OGs and having trouble deciding between "geek" or "nerd" and potentially giggling.

Meanwhile, Golem does nothing but make empty threats about punching out faces with his fists.

Also I deny everything. EVERYTHING!

Wow, Greg. That's was unusually insightful.

Also, hey Saf, what's it goin'? Should we have the same topic on DKvine? We're not so different, I and I.

Saf I know we're looking like real losers by barely making fun of your totally hip and ironic site that's totally not just unintentionally hilarious so I'm sorry we didn't know about your retroactive claims of calculated humour in advance through the veil of screams or manifesto's about Tiny's exact lineage

sorry bro, you are right on the money and I will commit ritual seppuku to appease the slights against you that are much more notable than trolls or spammers or any real problems in general

Uncle Freddie, you FOOL! I'm gonna give whoever this is the benefit of the doubt and assume he's not being serious and is just trying to troll all five or so of us. Although, if that's the case, maybe DKVine is having its own dry season and whoever this guy is is incredibly bored. Especially considering he's extremely late to the proverbial party >.> That said, I think it would be fantastic if this is actually how the entire DKVine community feels and they actually sent whoever this person is as a legitimate envoy to clear up any misconceptions you guys made about them years ago. Either way, DKVine must be dull right now.

Less talking, more bombing.

New Super Mario Bros. Wii > Donkey Kong Country Returns

diddy jetpack is a TOTAL RIPOFF of the mid-air twirl in nsmbw.

WELCOME TO THE OWN ZONE

And in one fell swoop, I take back every nice thing I ever said about you, Golem.

But seriously, I don't think they're sort of used to our weird sense of humor, guys.

We actually were completely unaware of you back then. I found you guys on my Google adventures, trying to piece together some ancient Vine history.

Truth be told, you weren't wrong to find the Nintendo demonization off putting... a lot of that was real. But you have to consider, we're, second and nextmost, Rare fanboys, and Rare's whole game in the Clinton years was one-upping Nintendo at every turn. So there was actual belief in Rare superiority.

The demonization came about because Miyamoto made some comments harshing Donkey Kong Country after Yoshi's Island got some bad feedback on its graphics. I think the site's founders took it pretty far, but we've really softened up on Nintendo since the old days. Miyamoto's comment turned out to not indicate how enormous a help he was to the series, for instanceAh, no offense taken. We're a very mellow site now - hell, it's 2010. The glory days of video game fansites are over.

I wanted to reach out to you guys, though, and try to have some fun with this. Our site has resurrected recently, but with Returns having came out, we gotta work to maintain the energy.

Please, do set up an embassy with us. It'd be fun!Hell yeah Nintenfreak. Holding down the DKvine diasporia. I wonder if there are other sites like this that had a significant Viner minority?1999, motherfucker. That's all the indie cred we need.

Seriously though, the best humor is the unintentional stuff. Trust me, I will never tell you Bendilin was staged. Chad's banhammer days, Lankydavid... we weren't putting on a show. We just had a place where we went, okay, if we're gonna nerd it up, we're gonna nerd it up as hard as possible.

We did have some shamefully nerdy hobbies. We all unironically loved working on the canon. We loved arguing. But, we knew what we were getting into when we signed up. We checked our shame at the door, and you can see the hilarious, totally unscripted, results.Wow, I'm sorry you guys played NSMBW

The Galaxy series is up there with the DKC series, though