The 2004 Vorpal OG Awards (live from Las Vegas)

GORE-ILLA · **Posted:** 19 Apr 2005 18:19

Narrator: Welcome... to the 2004... Vorpal Awards!!!!

*All of the OGers walk down a red carpet into a large and most fancy mansion. Actually it's just an abandoned warehouse with toxic waste on the floors and only a few folding chairs. GORE walks up to the podium, which is a pile of boxes, holding a Vorpal statue in one hand.*

GORE: Greetings one and all, and welcome to the 2004 Vorpals- the first successful OG Award show in some amount of time! Well let's start immediately. First, I'll call up Yami Yoshi and Vorpal to announce the awrds for Best Hero! C'mon up guys!

*Yami Yoshi and Vorpal make their way to the podium as GORE sneaks away.*

Yami Yoshi: Wow, I wonder who's nominated for Best Hero? Maybe I should have actually read the ballot instead of checking off random boxes.

Vorpal: Same here. Whatever, let's play the clips.

Narrator: Best Hero: Vorpal from Mega Mega Extreme Doki Doki Panik V: It's the Economy/Elections, Stupid!

Vorpal: Hey, I've been nominated!

Yami: Wow, lookit that.

Quote:

Screen explodes.

Vorpal: WTF happened to my clip?!

Yami Yoshi: Whatever, let's see the next nomination!

Narrator: Yami Yoshi from Gamehiker Member OG...

*Yami and Vorpal both gasp and then glare at each other.*

Quote:

Yami Yoshi: Dang...I...can't...die yet...what did my old master tell me about this...

*FLASHBACK 8 YEARS*

Yoshi's Island...

Yami Yoshi: Dark Egg!

*A 7 year old Yami Yoshi hurls a Dark Egg in front of an elderly black Yoshi, which releases a tiny set of fireworks in the sky*

Yami Yoshi: Master Yoshi! Master Yoshi! Was that good?

Master Yoshi: Hrrmm...TERRIBLE!!!

Yami Yoshi: *falling over* WHAT YOU SAY?!

Master Yoshi: Your Dark Egg explosions are pathetic! You get an F!

Yami Yoshi: *sobbing* NOOOOO!!! BUT WHY!!!???

Master Yoshi: All you do all day is eat cheesecake and play video games...THESE ARE NOT THE QUALITIES OF THE NEXT GENERATION YOSHI WARRIOR!!! Fifty laps around the island!

Yami Yoshi: *sweatdrop* Grr...

*After 10 hours, Yami Yoshi finally finishes his exercise around the island and night has fallen. Suddenly, the night's silence is shattered by a thundrous explosion followed by a mushroom cloud*

Yami Yoshi: Wow! What was that?

Master Yoshi: That...was the Nuclear Egg: the ultimate Yoshi Egg of destruction. It has the potential power to destroy an entire city. However, it can be deadly if used unwisely...

Yami Yoshi: Ooh! Ooh! Can I make a Nuclear Egg? Can I? Can I?

Master Yoshi: NO! A Nuclear Egg requires a lot of your energy to produce. Even if you could, a Yoshi would only use it as a last resort. It is extremely dangerous!

Yami Yoshi: Hmm...one day, I'm going to make a Nuclear Egg and use it to fight evil! *motion of throwing an egg* BOOOOOOM!!! Heh heh heh heh heh heh!

Master Yoshi: .......HOW DARE YOU MAKE SUCH A FOOLISH STATEMENT!!! FIFTY MORE LAPS AROUND THE ISLAND!!!

Yami Yoshi: *sighs*

*END FLASHBACK*

Yami Yoshi: Well, I guess this can be considered last resort then...I just hope it works...NUCLEAR EGG!

Yami: See that? My clip was alot better!

Vorpal: But I was alot cooler! I fired people and got beaten up by geeks!

Narrator: And Introbulus from Member OG 6: VGF Moon!

Quote:

The Egg Shield shatters into smithereens and Yami Yoshi falls to the ground.~

Yami Yoshi: *panting* …you will…return to us…Introbulus!

Introbulus: Listen Yami Yoshi…Do you want to know WHY I can’t be friends with you? I am part of a top-secret organization responsible for maintaining order and stability in the universe. Even though I was killed on the Apocalypse, my organization brought me back to life under one condition: destroy the OGers and prevent them from destroying the universe.

???: !!!

Yami Yoshi: What the hell?!? We aren’t trying to destroy the universe! Akujin is!

Introbulus: You naïve fools seem to misunderstand…allow me to explain…

Introbulus: Sorry about that... it's just that the situation is so dire.
The complicated part has something to do with space that isn't even real. You, the MPVP, and even I contribute to this part of the mess, but we really made the trouble flare with all of those OGs by fighting so much and defeating enemies so powerful. Defeating you would calm the situation down for the time being and slow the effects enough to give enough time for a solution to be found.
The simple part is that Akujin has better means of protecting The Holy Plot Device (Reverb), but he can't use it. To my knowledge, only a few beings and the original OG six can use it--

Pharoah: Well there you go!! Didn't Black Skull Dragoshi just leave with Akujin?!

Introbulus: But it's just a trick,... right?

GORE: No, it's not!

Introbulus: Okay, forget the complicated part. We've got to get aboard that Apocalypse.

SSG: Hold up, we still have an X-Bomb to deal with.

Introbulus: Not any more. Come on, there's some skull jets nearby.

*PL-0TT flies by and spits out an envelope, which drifts onto the podium. After a quick pause Yami and Vorpal both tug on one end of the envelope.*

Yami: Gimme! I wanna read my prize!

Vorpal: No way, it's my award show!

*The envelope tears, leaving behind a small note. Both Vorpal and Yamu grab it and read at the same time.*

Yami & Vorpal: The winner of the Vorpal for Best Hero is... (they stare at each other) Yami Yoshi AND Vorpal???

*PL cuts the Vorpal figurine in half, as they continue fighting.*

Vorpal: Dibs on the upper half!

Yami: No way, my name came first!

GORE: Now it's time for a commercial break, but feel free to come back later or something.

Yami · **Joined:** 13 Nov 2004 00:26 **Posts:** 971

Haha, I already saw the results before Masa deleted the original topic, but presenting the awards like an OG is much better.

Lupus · **Posted:** 20 Apr 2005 05:56

Holy cow, it's a draw.

GORE-ILLA · **Posted:** 23 Apr 2005 11:26

*Yami Yoshi and Vorpal are dragged backstage to continue their fight, rolling past the crying Introbulus.*

GORE: And next is the award for Best Villain, presented by two of last year's villains who just didn't make it.

*Akujin walks up to the podium and looks around curiously.*

Akujin: Uh, where's the other guy?

*A midget attatched to a rocket flies in through the ceiling.*

Fawful: I HAVE FURY!!!!

Akujin: (sighs)

Fawful: They are daring to ignore Fawful in their elections which are rigged like the election of California? But I am Cackletta's most furiest minion, and many good at villaining be!

Akujin: Oh, just roll the tape.

Narrator: The nominations for best villain! Lupus from Gamehiker Member OG...

Quote:

Dark Figure: No! Who are you?

???: Hello, my name is Inigo Montaya... You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Dark Figure: You'll never kill me alive!

Inigo: Mwahaha. *does so* Now I have all I need to take over the world myself! Mwahaha! Did anyone realize this scene was pointless as the Dark Figure could have been me anyway? It doesn't really matter who the evil guy is! *is squashed by a elephant falling from another dimension*

*in that other dimension*

Even Eviler Guy: Mwahaha! Now no one can stop me taking over the world with the evilest mwahaha in the world! And this dimension! And any other unforseen dimensions! *is squashed by a elephant falling from another dimension*

*in that other dimension*

Evilest Guy: Bwahaha! Wait, I mean Mwahaha! Time to put my DESTROY EVERYTHING FOR NO APPARENT REASON PLAN INTO ACTION! But first I need the most evil soul on Earth for my machine... Yes, that's right! It's NOT LUPUS!

Lupus: Wha...? When the heck do I get a proper place in this OG?

Evilest Guy: NEVER! MWAHAHAHAHA! *is squashed by an elephant falling from another dimension*

*in that other dimension*

Lupus: Mwahaha. Now my evil plan will really begin. After I come up with an evil plan, of course!

Fawful: Bah I am saying! This loser of many fields cannot possibly be being more random then I in my greatest dreams can dream of!

Akujin: WTF are you saying.

Narrator: Golem, also from Gamehiker Member OG!

Quote:

Golem: Plastic surgery! ~Golem whips around his heavy bookbag right into Yami; and Yami, not expecting the bookbag to be so manueverable, is slammed by it. Golem continues fleeing.~

Yami: ~picking himself up off of the ground~ What's up with that kid...? ~runs after~

~Soon after, Golem is running on a sidewalk beside plenty of stores. He stops at Canadian Dude's Party Store and dashes inside.~

Golem: Canadian Dude! They're onto us!

Canadian Dude: Woot's that, eh?

Golem: You know.... they're on to us.

Akujin: Don't tell me they chose that freakin shrimp over I, the most powerful villain in the universe!

Narrator: Finally, we have SteveT from The OGers: Third Generation!

Quote:

Clerk: So if you won't tell me how you're alive, can you at least tell me why you're a villain?

SteveT: Simple. I killed TeevC and swore revenge on the Festivity Attenders for their insolence.

Clerk: No wonder they wanted you deactivated...but aren't they all dead?

SteveT: Well, the exact words of the oath were, "I hereby swear revenge upon the Festivity Attenders and any organization that even remotely reminds me of them, regardless of whether or not the resemblence is actually there, because the Festivity Attenders were an original creation unlike any pre-existing groups of characters."

Clerk: That's elaborate...

SteveT: What can I say? I was mad.

Akujin: That's it, I'm going to my trailer.

*Akujin walks offstage. Fawful stands still for a moment until his memory regains.*

Fawful: Ah yes! The awards I must be presenting! Someone be telling me the winner!

*PL-0TT the Re-Scripter spits an envelope at him.*

Fawful: What's this? An enigma hidden with a seal of paper. Yet you are forgetting who I am, as I am the one who is Fawful and I HAVE FURY!!!

*Fawful tears the envelope.*

Fawful: The winner is being... Steven T!!!!

*SteveT steps up to stage and grabs the Vorpal.*

Fawful: Have you words of gratitude for your friends, family and admirers, or be you a sick cow who shall choke on its own organs and die a horrible death??!!! HUH??? HUH?????

SteveT: I'm heartless, I have no reason to thanks anyone with the possible exception of myself. Good job, me!

*Steve walks away quite simply.*

Fawful: (sheds a tear) There is going the greatest man who ever lived.

Yami · **Joined:** 13 Nov 2004 00:26 **Posts:** 971

So, when are we going to find out who won the other awards?

Lupus · **Posted:** 23 May 2005 03:18

Never.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Masamune · **Posted:** 24 Jul 2005 14:49

Should I just put this forum in the archives?

The 2004 Vorpal OG Awards (live from Las Vegas)

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